I'm in my own lil world...You know

It's Just Sports

2012-01-16T08:31:00.003-05:00

I do get mad whenever my team loses and I say things like, "I am going to drown my sorrows because my team lost." However I am not going to take any extreme measures like going out to my local Applebee's and shooting somebody.

After the Saints and 49ers game, an Saints fan was so mad that he decided that he should go to the trunk and start shooting at a couple of 49er Fans. (Atlana 49ers Fan in Critical Condition)

I really want to know what it is really in the mind of some people who thinks that this is such a good idea, they are risking to spend the rest of their lives in jail for a football game? Because if Alex Smith is running for touchdowns, then I should do something to take myself out of society...riiight.

Sports is just entertainment for us. It is a way for most of us to get away from our reality for two to three hours. That is just it though, it is just entertainment. Once the match ends, life still goes on. Maybe Lebron had a point when he said that people can go on with their problem-filled lives. If someone plans on shooting up an Applebee's, there has to be some sort of problem with their lives that they can't deal with.

Things like what happened in Atlanta happen every so often, I remember when Auburn won the National Championship last year and an Alabama fan was so distraught that he killed a tree. People are so fanatical about their sports that it is scary, they would not mind taking a human's life for a game that shouldn't have any real consequence to them. Can't really change the human condition of this crazed fan-dom.

Maybe, I am one of the only people that think once the game is over, life still goes on. Sports should not really be in control of your life like this. They are all guys making money doing something that they are really good at. We should just appreciate the skills they have been blessed with and if our team should lose keep the gun in the trunk.

Well unless, you think jail is a safe place for yourself. That doesn't even sound right. Have fun with your anal rape sir...

My New Years Resolution.

2012-01-15T05:11:00.001-05:00

A New Year is here and it is Resolution Time!!

I don’t blame people for making resolutions. It is a good way to start off the year, and it gives motivation to those that need it. The reason why resolutions end up failing is because maybe life altering things have happened. Maybe a relationship fails, death in the family, injuring yourself among others could keep people from succeed in their resolutions.

Or maybe people are procrasinators anyway and they never stick to the resolutions that they were going to do

I know people who actually stay true to their resolutions and they become better and successful people for it. Resolutions are a healthy thing to have if done correctly. Work hard and find the resources to do well. Don’t go on the unhealthy route, like if you are trying to lose weight, don’t try to be anorexia or bulimic. And if you want to make money and be rich, please don’t be a drug dealer or a bank robber.

My resolutions aren’t really anything important. They are really for me to feel better and not worry about people who want to be right. I told myself if I’m engaged in a political or religious argument then I’m going to yell 2 CHAINNNZZZZ and walk off.

I’m not too much of a fan of those arguments because there are too many views and people want to be right for better or worse even would end a friendship over it. Plus I don’t know nor care about a lot of those issues because there is no way that I can get the person to understand. So let me just stop it with some ignorance and it makes me feel better.

“I’M INVESTIN’ IN THESE. AHA, IT’S REAL!!!”

Another Resolutions is to keep myself of getting bent out of shape. Not only because it is a way to lose friends, it could also lead to other things that aren’t healthy.

For example, I gained a ton of weight last year. Mostly my fault because at times I was lazy and should have worked out more. Also I felt like there were problems with me and me thinking that people were out to get me and no one wanted to talk or interact with me. Even if it was imaginary in reality, I sometimes felt like most of the world was against me. So I would mask my disappointment and anger by eating and drinking a ton during the first part of the year. Not the most healthy thing I’ve ever done and a very shameful thing also.

Luckily, I’ve snapped out of it. And hopefully I will be eating better and not drinking as much, only on special occasions. And I’m glad for the friends that I have and I should be focused on them rather than trying to make other friends. I’ll stop, it seems like I’ve written this hundreds of times, but I probably should reiterate it. Once again Thank You for always being there for me.

It is a new year. It’s 2012 and the 27th year of my life. I’m not going to say that this is going to be the best year of my life but I am just going to make the best out of it.

Blogging on my iPhone

2011-10-21T22:08:00.001-04:00

Yup, I've finally joined the dark side and got me an iPhone. I know what you are thinking. The douchebaggery will creep into my skin immediately. Don't worry about that. It won't happen.

I will be the same ordinary person with a cool ass phone. I got the phone yesterday and I have been doing what I didn't want to do. I've been on this thing 24/7. But I've just been getting use to the touch screen and downloading app after app. I got spotify which was one of the biggest reasons I got the phone.

When I experience more of the features , I'll make sure to brag about it. But not be a douchebag about it :)

Otherwise I might do some blogging on my phone because my thoughts come out while I'm not on my computer. My brain often doesn't work while I'm lying on the couch watching footy. The ideas usually pop off when I'm at work, hanging with friends , or whatever.

So as I raise my iPhone in the air in joy , I will leave you guys to enjoy your weekends and never keep the mind idle.

iPhone, Scouting, Podcasts, My Pickup game...It's My Life

2011-10-19T22:33:00.004-04:00

Hopefully I will buy a new phone this weekend. I am sort of getting tired of my Blackberry and more than likely getting an iPhone. My good friend says that I probably should get an Android phone but the only problem is that AT&T aren't as kind with their data plans on Androids as they are on their iPhones.

So I think I am close to joining the "Team iPhone" (corny team that I will never mention unless it's in a joking manner). I am going to have to buy something to protect my phone because i have butter fingers and I am very clumsy. Also I will have to get use to the touch screen and all which I think I can do.

I'm going to probably get the iPhone 4s because me and my supervisor were looking up the differences between the 4 and the 4s and we saw that it wasn't anything that important. I am not trying to say just because the new phone isn't called the iPhone 5 that I am unattracted to the 4s. It is more due to the fact that the 4s doesn't have enough features that would warrant me getting it. I'm pretty simple with the use of my phone. Obviously texting, GPS, possibly hotel lookups, and listening to music is probably what I would use the phone for. Games aren't as important. Maybe the odd picture of two that I would like to take would help. But I think the iPhone 4 would do the job just fine for me. Plus it is cheaper.

My scouting adventures stay in the triangle area. I'm going to Chapel Hill on Friday to watch two top 5 teams, Maryland and UNC. Then on Saturday, I will stay in Raleigh and see NC State take on Wake Forest. I'm not going to discuss anybody I'm scouting because I don't want to name drop or anything. Plus nobody cares about these adventures especially since I won't get out of the Triangle this weekend.

Went to my itunes when I got out of my workout and I noticed that I had six new podcasts ready to be listened to. It made me wonder how I got into all these podcasts. A year ago I don't think I had any on my list, now I have about six podcasts that I'm following.

They all reflect what I want to hear and talk about myself. Sports, Footie, and News with a funny twist. It also helped me get a more African American (or Canadian or Canadian-American to the All Balls Don't Bounce crew) view of sports and news. I always listened to ESPN and their bias views and I only realized when I started to listening to the Morning Jones that I knew that there was another side.

Then I begun listening to The Black Guy Who Tips, All Balls Don't Bounce, and the list goes on. Now I don't take their word as gospel but it is intelligent (also rachet) talk that I like listening to. Plus it is always good to see black people coming together and making podcasts. Ha!

I don't think I've played in an 11v11 game since that Alabama trip. And quite frankly I am not even mad about that. I like playing in more close spaces now because it is helping me getting better with decision-making and making my touch cleaner. I played on Tuesday night and I felt good on the ball, also making decent passes that I normally don't do.

I guess it is right, the older you get the slower the game becomes. I see the game a lot better now. Well it is only pick-up right? I shouldn't be getting ahead of myself but I do actually feel like my ball skills are getting better even though the gut seems to get larger.

Right now, I am eating my dinner listening to Where's My 40 Acres while Sportscenter is on the tv. I still can't believe the Raiders gave up a couple of first round picks (well one first round pick and a possible first round pick) on Carson Palmer.

I digress. I'm about to head out. I'm enjoying this alone time I'm having right now. Most times I feel the need to have some social interaction but tonight I actually went against my first thought and stayed at the crib. People are overrated anyways...

Have a good weekend. And awkwardly roll up to somebody like I would do...

Stop Signing Off, Take the Beating like a Man (or Woman)

2011-10-09T18:12:00.005-04:00

Dear FIFA 12 Online Players,

You don't know how it is frustrating whenever a person signs off or go to the dashboard right after I score my second or third goal on you in the first half. It isn't my fault that you suck. It isn't my fault I'm halfway paying attention to while I am stomping your ass in FIFA. Why don't you do something like, get better in FIFA.

Even when I am taking an ass-whoopin by somebody, I have the decency to carry out the rest of the game and take my whoopin like a man. But I guess the online geeks out there can't take their beatings respectfully

Listen, the real gamers in this community respect the game. We all get frustrated when we lose or getting beaten upon. It still doesn't mean that you can throw your toys everywhere and turn off your Xbox.

Just maybe I am playing against a bunch of amateurs at the moment but a couple of you guys begun to talk shit while playing me. Then after the game turns into a 5-0 beating, you start saying that I'm lucky and then turn off the game. Come on big man, you were tough talking when the game was 0-0 at kickoff, now it's 15 minutes in and you're quitting.

I wish that Xbox Live/FIFA/EA Sports or whoever is involved in moderating the FIFA online games starts banning these douchebags because this game needs real gamers not these tricks masquerading as such.

Peace Out and Happy Gamings,

Drizzle20NC

"South of the Border"

2011-10-03T13:31:00.002-04:00

Last Friday, I went to my final assigned game of the month. It featured South Carolina and Tulsa. Since I couldn't go to the George Mason-Old Dominion game all the way in Fairfax, I decided that I couldn't miss this one even though UNC-Duke were playing their game on the same night.

It wasn't too bad of a game. South Carolina won 2-1. Tulsa in my opinion had the better players but South Carolina were gritty and scrappy which won out on the night. In fact SC's game-winner was on an own goal off a corner kick.

I noticed something watching this game. I believe the Gamecock fans are some of the most obnoxious fans I've seen in a long time. They would start cursing their own team whenever they made a mistake. It was kind of like a football atmosphere than a college soccer atmosphere.

I guess that's what happens when watching soccer in the south. Where "Go-on and just boot it." was a common term during this game. I don't know maybe I was tripping out on the lack of soccer knowledge that most of these fans had.

South of the Border
As a kid, I use to travel up from Mississippi to visit family in North Carolina. We always drove instead of flying up there. Well going up i-95, I would see these billboards for the South of the Border. I didn't realize how racist these signs where and the fact that most of the pictures of Pedro (the "spokesman" of South of the Border) looked more Asian than Mexican.

That being said, I always wanted to go there because I would see all the lights going off and the rollercoasters among other things.

I never knew that it was the most dirtiest place known to man. I stopped at the exit on Saturday morning just to put gas in the car. And boy, I even felt dirty using the gas pumps. Most everything looked old. And the rollercoasters looked real sketchy and I wouldn't think to step foot on it.

I was about to grab a bite to eat there but I decided I'd rather starve myself then eat this nasty food that will probably give any normal human being diarrehea.

Otherwise...
I'm fine. Just been scouting away and plotting my next move. I'm trying to keep all things in perspective and working on become somewhat successful. Obviously I don't have everything figured out. But I'm continuing to work hard in trying to figure at least some of these things

Me personally. I am really content where I am. That Drake-ish phase has long passed and I am just continuing on looking at myself and how to keep myself being happy. There are always going to be highs and lows. The main thing is keeping myself levelheaded on these things. I can be irrational at times but then again, I can be the most rational person that you know....eh that might be stretching it just a bit.

"There will be many failures in your lifetime but if you learn from them and work harder then the successes will out-do your failures."

Been Gone for a Minute

2011-09-12T13:35:00.003-04:00

I felt it to be time for me to knock out another blog post. I'm sure many of you (when I say many of you, I'm sure I'm talking to myself) thought that I would never write on here again. Well I honestly thought with everything else occupying my time on the internet, I probably wouldn't come back on here. Unfortunately enough, I am back at least for a little bit before I go back on a hiatus.

Things have been occupying my time and actually I do have about three or four blog post that are ready to be posted. I've decided against releasing those because they play on my insecurities again and other nonsense of me. A friend helped me to realize that I don't need to just talk about that kind of stuff. People will begin to tune me out and then I would just disappear without hearing my complaining.

And I think that is what I've been doing a lot. Complaining. Complaining about this, complaining about that. Just complaining about things being unfair. I read previous tweets and blog post and I've grown tired of it myself. So I know if I'm tired of it, then I am sure that many of you are also.

That is why I put myself on a week's ban on social networking because that is where I usually put my whining (that is what I'm going to call it now) out there for others. I feel a bit better now. I need to work on myself and not having people feel sorry for me. Whether I tried to tell myself that I don't want people feeling bad for me, that is what I was actually doing. That needs to stop immediately!!

I have good enough people in my life to where I actually shouldn't be whining at all. Things happen for reasons that I can't explain.

Now I'm just taking everything how it is. I know who I am. I'm trying to work on other things just to at least keep myself from stressing. Using my social networks now for funny commentary and just enjoying everything.

There isn't any reason for me to whine or complain, there are some people that aren't as fortunate as I am. I'm becoming more grateful of what I've got. And that is something that is making me feel good right now...

Creating Your Niche

2011-08-12T13:37:00.005-04:00

The great thing about most of my friends and most people I listen to or read online is that they are forever trying to create their own niche. People have regular jobs and then they either do podcasting in their spare time so a wide audience can hear them. Also some are writing articles and possibly trying to get into the journalism game with their freelance work.

Also another example is of a DJ who started in Chapel Hill, he DJ'd at night and worked during the day until he got recognized nationwide. Now he travels around the state and the country doing the thing he loves and he quit his day job. Shouts out to DJ A-Minor

Me, I am trying to become a soccer scout. Not an agent, I am trying to find talent for teams and not for the player's representation. I started to think about scouting this time last year but I did not know how to get started. So I took this scouting course where I met some scouts from the MLS and the youth national team. Luckily for me, I live in a rich area for college soccer so they are asking me to go out to a bunch of games (UNC, NC State, Duke, UNCG, etc.) and scout for them. I will receive credit for the work I will do and hopefully it can help me get a job in the future.

I don't mind my day job but I don't foresee myself being here in the next three to four years. Hoping that this scouting thing pops off. I am going to be patient and try to perfect my craft in the next couple of years as I hopefully put some money in the bank for myself.

To all those others trying to do what they love, keep on chasing it and maybe you can do that for a living instead of what you are doing now.

And to the ones already doing it....

You lucky Bastards!!!!

Just Kidding

Been a While

2011-08-08T23:26:00.004-04:00

Just saying a hello to all the people that want to hear from me. That means that I am saying hello to the three people that might read this. And I do mean might.

It has been a while since I've written a piece on my blog about myself. Things have kind of picked up for me. I've got a full-time job now. The law firm that I work with decided to bring me on full-time. I don't plan on being there forever or anything. At least I can have some change in my pocket without going to the red once my utilities and/or rent kicks in on my account. It will make me feel better.

And the Benefits!! I know that it is important for me to have benefits. It is about time for me to start getting off of my parents' insurance. I mean I am turning 26 in about four months, so I might as well start taking care of myself.

The evil part in me is planning on buying some things and finding ways to save up money for my paid vacation. I think that I should look at ways to budget better and keep as much money as humanly possible. Then maybe a rainy day would come and I can buy something important. Maybe like a new laptop.

My laptop is on its last legs. My settings are "temporarily" disabled. I can't get into my music or my podcasts (even though I can go straight to their website). Plus the fact that if I have my laptop on for an hour, it would flip off. I mean at least it doesn't want to overheat and blow up my hard drive but still I don't think this old thing can manage this long.

I've had this thing for about three years so I think it might be time to get a new laptop. Don't know if I want to get a Mac or stick with a PC. I am not too picky with my laptops. I don't play any games on it. I just kind of use it for getting on twitter, listening to music, and watching soccer on live stream. So maybe a $300 to $400 PC laptop will do. Or possibly get one of those mini-laptops that my sister has, they look cool.

Rambled enough about the laptop. I can't help myself I love having a laptop around, my smartphone doesn't do everything for me.

Where was I?

Oh saving. Yes I do need to save more. I need to learn how to cook. Takeaway and fast food is putting a drain on pocket. Buying groceries even if it was ramen or microwaved food would be better than eating fast food. Also help me in my search of losing some weight, plus making some other life choices will help too. (I'll get into that in a later post).

Otherwise I am trying to live. I still have problems with myself that I need to deal with. But I am okay with things how they are. Still in the forever search for a nice kind young woman, I will stay patient though. Good things come to those who wait...

Hopefully I don't wait until it is too late...

Short Soccer Rambling- Sanchez heads to Barcelona

2011-07-22T18:40:00.004-04:00

Before the weekend of debauchery starts, I decided to ramble a little bit about my favorite sport. For those who don't care about football (the real one!!) then you can click the X and I won't begrudge you at all for it.

Shouts out to Alexis Sanchez, who has just signed with the reigning Champions League winners Barcelona.

When I first thought of writing about this topic, I was thinking about saying how much it is a waste for Alexis to come to Spain and Barca not needing a player like Sanchez because they have that forward line covered.

Then I thought about the cons to all my arguments and it seemed better to talk about why Alexis is good for Barca and vise versa.

Barcelona is pretty much set in every position for next year. No one getting too old and they can make another run with the same group. However a group needs some sort of spark to keep them hungry and raring for more titles. That is why Cesc Fabregas will be a good move for Barca also.

Players respond well to competition. Granted they want the security of having a spot on the starting 11 but they also want to compete for their spot against a player who is at the same caliber. Sanchez will keep players like David Villa, Pedro, and even Messi on their toes.

If they want to start over Sanchez, they will have to play better than they did last year. It will make Barcelona an even stronger team before.

That goes the same with Alexis, he will have to prove to a group of players who have been together for four or five years that he can match them. The Chilean has the caliber to play on this squad, he will have to prove his worth to his players and management a like.

This is probably why squads make changes like this. Even when there is no turnover with the squad, things tend to get stale when players see each other season after season. A player or two could boost morale (depending on the player and relationships that they might have with other players on the team). It could make them stronger even without him getting on the field.

I'm going to head out. Everybody enjoy your weekends! I have a long weekend ahead of me. I don't go back into work until Wednesday next week. I need the break time and it is much needed. I might come back on here and write another post in the between time. So peace and love from American's Most Hated....

The link: Barcelona finally agree Alexis Sanchez transfer

I'm trying to cite my sources since my argument with somebody not citing their sources.

What Should He Do?

2011-07-15T10:55:00.005-04:00

Luka Modric is in a position that most footballers have been in. He wants to leave a club but the club is steadyfast that they don't want him to go anywhere. In fact the club is willing to let him rot on the bench or in the stands if he does not want to comply. From the outside view, it seems very tough to deal with. His heart belongs somewhere else but yet his wife doesn't want to sign the divorce papers unless a large fee is put up.

Just a little background: Chelsea has made a couple of offers to Tottenham midfielder, Luka Modric. Tottenham has rejected every bid for the player even though the player wants to go to West London.

Daniel Levy, the chairman of Tottenham, had a meeting with Modric where he basically just said, "Stay here and play or rot." Modric feels disenchanted now because they had a "gentlemen's agreement", right before he signed an extension that if a big club (i.e. Chelsea) comes calling then he was allowed to leave.

Luka now has had a transfer requested denied and we are in this situation now.

So what should Luka do?

He can play good soldier. Work hard in training sessions and games. Play as the good professional as we know he is. And after another season and if they aren't in the Champions League, they can reward him by sending him away to the club he prefers. Somewhat like what C. Ronaldo did (except Man Utd was always going to be in the Champions League), his heart was in Madrid but Sir Alex got one more decent year out of him and actually was a game away from winning Man Utd's third Champions League under SAF.

Problem with this is that he seems to be working with two stubborn men (Redknapp and Levy). They promised him that if he were to sign a new contract with Spurs then after a year (last season), he would be able to go to the club of his choice if they came calling. Obviously smucks make promises like that so they can get you to sign the dotted line. We all know people who tell you that they are going to give you the world and then disappoint you.

Yeah, he can play good soldier and do well for the club but how is it going to help him go to where he needs to. His club doesn't want him to go anywhere and feel he is obligated to complete his contract. By that time, none of the teams like Chelsea will probably pursue him then.

He could also take the bluff and rot on the bench. I know these players are ultra-competitive and if they weren't they wouldn't be where they are now. However, knowing me, if I were in his shoes. I would come to training, if they don't want to play me then fine. I will still make my money and you can't do much about that.

Probably the wrong way to go about it but hey right now I would be trying to make the most out of the pay-days as possible.

I digress.

I think this would have a major impact on star players on the team. Think of Rafael van der Vaart and Gareth Bale. What must they be thinking about? Well if they do not plan on giving up Luka Modric, then what hope do I have towards making it to a bigger club if we continue to be a 5th to 10th place club not making the Champions League?

Also morale around the club would be down. I think from player to player, everybody respects each others decisions to go play on the best teams in the world if they get the chance. If someone wants to go to another club, then most players would not begrudge them on their decisions. (Unless the move is a lateral one based soley on money). The players would look at this situation and plead with the club to just move on because even one player could balance the mood and morale of a team.

If I was in Modric's situation, I would play the decent solider, not good soldier, but decent.

The difference: I remember when Modric said that he came back from injury earlier then he should have last season. If I was in that situation, I would take a wee bit more time to make sure I am 100% healthy. If he gets re-injured trying to come back earlier, then he knows that the club won't have his back as he has been proven. So I would make sure that I am 100% fit before I step on the field again.

Obviously I would continue to play as hard as possible because the wages will go down if you don't play well.

And not play to lose but just play well enough NOT to get a Champions League spot. In this case Tottenham would have to sell off players then, they aren't getting that CL money coming in to give extensions or buy better players. More players like the aforementioned will say they want to leave for Champions League football because they are at that caliber. So Tottenham would have some decisions to make. Should we keep these players and possibly go into some debt and have more disenchanted players? or should we rebuild and go with younger players and try to make another run with a different generation of players?

Those are the questions that Tottenham have to ask for themselves and Luka is definitely asking himself some questions if he has to stick around White Hart Lane.

My Opinion: I think Chelsea has to go around 35mil to about 38mil to get this deal done. I see Tottenham valuing the player around the 30 to 32mil range. I think if they are able to up it getting close to 40mil. Then Tottenham will look to let the player go. Are Chelsea willing to get up that much money? We will see.

All I know is this saga will make a heck of a month and a half...

Tevez Gone

2011-07-10T11:00:00.000-04:00

I guess I have to write about this now. Since everybody is claiming me to be a Manchester City fan. As I'm sure you know, Carlos Tevez has asked to be transferred from Eastlands. It seems at least this time that he won't play another game with City. If this has to do with family reasoning, then I can understand that completely. However it is always unclear whether it has to do with money or family.

During the last year when he made this excuse, I thought: "Well just move your family to Manchester" He has had trouble adjusting to life in the northwest city. Also I think he would like his family to be around Spanish-speaking people or if he does speak some Italian (some Argentines do) then he can make his way to Italy also. I can understand it.

We complain about fathers leaving their children for months at a time and they end up divorcing or being distant with the kids. Carlos is going the opposite route and saying that he wants to be with his children and he should be commended on that.

City wants about 50mil pounds for no. 32. That might be a steep price for many clubs and I don't think many value him that high. I can understand where City is coming from though. This player is their captain, their consistent goal-scorer, and a folk-lord in Manchester with all his tireless performances with the Blues side.

If they lose a player like that, they will need to be able to buy a player that is equally as good. Dzeko and Balotelli haven't shown their worth as lone striker as of yet. Hopefully they will find someone who is just as good as Tevez or maybe those guys will reach their potential with the club.

The problem is that I don't think clubs will want to pay for him. Not only pay for him, will they want to deal with his pay wages also? He is going to command huge weekly wages and clubs (i.e Sir Alex) don't think he is worth those wages. He'll have a hard time matching the wages that City gave to him. They treated him a little too well.

Of course it could be another power-play by super agent, Kia Joorabchian. This is the easiest cop-out that we can use, he has been running the Tevez train for a while now. He's asked City for better wages or threaten to leave. So it will be very easy to say, maybe KJ is out for more money since it seems that City is just giving it in money-bags.

I don't know what is going to happen in this saga. For all I know, I won't be the least bit surprised that he shows up to training with City after the Copa America tournament is over. Then again, I won't be surprised if he doesn't shows up. The mysterious case of Carlos Tevez always takes turns that no one least expect...

You're a Grown Ass Man Dawg

2011-07-06T10:39:00.003-04:00

I swear some people are the biggest idiots EVER.

EVER?

FREAKIN EVER!

I have been going through my twitter timeline and other people's timelines just to pass time. And I see something that makes me ashame to be a grown man. I saw a grown man complain about a celebrity not mentioning them back.

Who do these people think they are that they deserve to be mentioned anyways? Let me say this, I mention and ask questions to celebrities or other famous people all the time. Do I expect them to answer back? Not really. It is mainly because I got more important stuff to do then worry about people mentioing anyways. Also they might not have the time to answer my question or shout me out. If they answer, Great. If they don't, all good my life hasn't gotten any worse over it

I know that I am too old to be worrying about nonsense like that. I am trying to live my life as I see fit, not sit on the computer waiting for a comment on my wall or twitter mention. Come on people, get over yourselves.

If it is a kid, then I can actually understand that. But people are 18, 19, 25, even 30 complaining about how their tweets aren't recognized, they need to be dragged out in the middle of Arizona and shot.

You don't make yourself a better person by berating a famous person on twitter. You just make yourself more stupid than you already were. Plus they have hundreds and hundreds of mentions a day. God (sorry about that) forbid that they don't see your tweet.

I just felt that I had to go in because some people make the rest of us look bad due to their ignorance and stupidity.

*sniff sniff* "but I wanted a mention or a retweet. You couldn't give me a mention or a retweet?? I am going to cry to my momma. Hold on, I got to go upstairs because I still live in my mom's basement and I'm 30 years old."

People like that, I can't give any sympathy to. I worry about other things then a celebrity's tweet.

Oh another thing, if you say that somebody isn't a celebrity and they aren't that hot, then why is your dumbass even asking for a mention from these people. That just makes you stupid for even trying to get a response from these people.

Alright I'm done now. Hopefully I can get back to work and let this steam from my head go away....

What? A celebrity hasn't mentioned me in the last 15 minutes? Let me get angry for no damn reason whatsoever....

P.S: Sorry to those living in their parent's basement because of job situation or anything like that. I wasn't trying to berate all those who do that. Just those who complain about little shit like twitter.

The Plan...

2011-06-28T10:52:00.003-04:00

You never want to say that you have a master plan. Or if you do, you at least have back-up plans if that master plan fails. I try to stay away from the master plan thing. I try to look for two or three plans on go on with that. I never want to sell myself short on what I think I will be doing with my life. I plan on going for my first plan and then if that works the back-up plans follow.

Reason why I think about this because I always go through the "Master Plan" method. Often finding myself failing miserably and trying to recover which usually would take about 2 to 3 months. Usually during those months I would try to find a job, sleep, eat, and be lazy at my parents house (How I actually miss those days.)

Now I have a job which makes things easier to go through the plans that I have set for me. If one plan fails, I have my job to fall back on in the meantime.

I know people want to know about my "plans". Only my friends that I speak with on a daily basis know about my objectives. When I am able to actually go through with these said plans, I will let the world know. As of now, I am living my life, having as much fun as I can before I truly become an adult, and trying to execute The Plan as best as I know how to do it...

Mind of the Clueless

2011-06-23T20:18:00.006-04:00

Here we go again....

I write, I have a good idea where I want to go with this posting then I get stuck in a rut and I erase the whole thing. I can't sit still and write a good LONG blog post. So I am just going to ramble on like I do with my tweets but this time I at least have more than 140 characters to go with.

Poor Kyrie. I was going to start out with a rambling about how Cleveland is a poor team to play for and probably a bad place for a 18 or 19 year old kid to live. Then I realize that Cleveland people (matter of fact people from Ohio) hate HARD! REAL HARD!! I think that they just might hate harder than I do. So quite honestly I kind of want to stay away from that subject so I don't have all of Ohio wanting to kill a little 25 year old kid (that's me)

"You know I had a big chip on my shoulder from not being recruited."
Listening to one of the guys ramble about not being heavily recruited in college now he is a first round pick. He just better be lucky that this draft is weaker than Chris Bosh's knees after they lost the finals this year. He would have been lucky to get into the draft some years. Is it me or more of these guys based mostly on potential rather than Superstarability (that isn't a word I know). Kyrie Irving and Derrick Williams, fine. But some of these other guys are reaches from the sky. I hope these GMs know what they are doing. Then again there might not be a league next year so who knows..

Back to things I know more about (Well sort of)
I read this article on ESPNsoccernet.com (Pele: Lionel Messi must score as many as me). The statement is flawed mostly because Pele played in Brazil and in the US while Messi is playing in one of the best leagues in the World with the best team. Messi's competition is miles ahead of what Pele played against in club level. Now people who turned on to soccer in these last two decades will say that Messi is better than Pele. I haven't seen Pele myself (except for highlights) so I can't make the argument without prejudice. Plus I hate making the best ever argument because it isn't fair.

All I can go with is how many World Cups have been won. I know this could be a flawed argument in itself. When you think about the greatest, you think about who has won World Cups. Johan Cryuff could be argued that he is one of the best. But between him and Pele, Pele will be picked most all of the time among those who aren't Dutch (or Brazilian) because of those World Cups. Messi can't even reach the heights that Maradona has. Even though it is a team sport, one player has a great impact in a World Cup tournament.

I've seen five World Cups in my lifetime and when I think about those who won the World Cup, only Italy in 2006 didn't have that one impact player that made their team. Fabio Cannavaro won the best player in the tournament, that award usually is won by midfielders and forwards. Even in that tournament, Zinedine Zidane was the best player in the tournament and carried his team to the finals.

Messi's story is not done but I think he needs that one signature World Cup performance to stake his claim as one of the World greatest. If he does win one World Cup, I will go towards the side of him being best ever.

However him and C. Ronaldo will have that same hurdle to climb. All the club achievements are good and well but when it is said and done, you need to win the most watched tournament in the World.

I know I left many holes in my argument but hey that is how debates generally start right? Maybe wrong but whatever.

Geez I did not think that I would get this far down without wanting to stop. I think I might do this often. Most of these topics are coming straight off the dome and they would not seem right on twitter. Right now I am going to continue to watch this NBA Draft and plot my escape from my house for the weekend. I will update everyone with my comings and goings. Mostly it'll probably be about my life on the couch. I need to get out more and see people....

Nahhhhh I'm good!

This is Me

2011-06-22T10:24:00.003-04:00

I feel like I have to give some of the reasons why I put my thoughts in this blog post about every five to six months, well this is the updated version

I know the imaginary readers out there wonder why do all always put my personal feelings out on this blog. I'm not going to put anything that you shouldn't know about. However the way I feel at the point in time in which I put out a blog post, you will get what I am thinking.

Why? When I am around people, I don't really let out too much emotion. Well, unless I'm out on the soccer field then you don't know what you're going to get. There are times when I'm around a group of people and I seem to be jovial but I am not really that happy. I know my real close friends know but I am sure some people don't.

This is my forum to express some grievances that I have whenever they come to light. If that seems too much for you, you know where the exit is.

Why not a journal? It isn't as if I am telling the world deep dark secrets. I'm informing you on what is going on in my brain. Everybody has these feelings. When I feel like there is an experience that I don't think people have had or something too crazy even for the public to know, then I won't put that on the blog post. I don't go into detail of everything that goes on with me, just the things that you might appreciate or relate to.

The last thing. You can't really tell me what to do. It is my page and I will do whatever I want and how I please. Now I will never get offensive to a group of people or anything because that isn't how I am....

..But when it is talking about a person in particular, I will talk mad sh*t about them (I am pointing at you Aaron)..

Day 21 w/o car:

2011-06-21T22:36:00.003-04:00

It is about 10:37pm and I'm sitting on the couch watching Top Gear on BBC America On Demand. After near tries at getting a car, I still don't have one. Bad luck after more bad luck has left me in the same predicament as I started on June 1. It is cool though. Three weeks later and now I am getting use to be around the apartment all the time and walking to places.

Last weekend we had a round robin tournament over two days. That means playing four games in two days. There were a couple of things I learned.

1) Never ever ever play in a tournament that I can't be bothered in playing in. I actually wanted to go out of town and get away from everything around Raleigh. The last week was kind of stressful at work. But I had really nowhere to go so I was kind of obligated to play which I regretted.

2) If I do play in a tournament like this, I am going to get fit so at least I won't feel like absolute crap for the two days after the tournament like I am now. I won't be playing any sort of organized footy unless it is pick-up. You can't get me out to a tournament. Well unless you are giving me some money. Ayyyeee

3) I guess I need to start the games maybe we won't lose to Clockwork because I didn't start the game. I don't think the reason why we lost was because I wasn't in. The team started flat and we could have salvaged the game anyways. Ah I guess an out-of-shape me is better than me not being at all right....uhhh right??

I've been walking to the bars downtown. It is about a mile from my house and it really isn't any trouble to get there at all. I have been getting use to being the bar by myself. There are times when people actually talk to me. I know it seems strange that people would come up and talk to me, well some do.

I really don't mind at all though. Honestly whenever I hang out with my boys in Chapel Hill, I kind of just check out and wander around. I guess that is always going to be me, wandering around aimlessly, drinking, and enjoying the night as is.

The social interaction that I've always craved is still there. I've been increasingly using the twitter machine to get my thoughts out there and to listen to others. It might be a bad thing because I am not having that face to face interaction that is needed (especially with the opposite sex).

Maybe it is cool if I just have a certain amount of solitude in my life. I need to be happy with myself before I can ever be happy with anyone else. Making others happy before yourself is never a healthy thing.

I am going to keep on improving myself and my well-being and then I will be out there for all the world to see. A new me and hopefully I will have a car in the process

Day 1 w/o a car

2011-06-01T22:35:00.004-04:00

I had to get rid of the rental car today. Anyone not knowing the situation well I told myself that I wouldn't talk about it again because I get really angry when I talk about it.

But yeah, I have no car. I got dropped off to my house. Then I proceeded to do things that a person without a car does. You know: Watch TV, watch a couple of movies, order some food, take a nap, then watch some more TV. I forgot to put running in my schedule because eh let's be honest, I will be doing too much if I ran.

I can't be doing too much right now.

Otherwise today has been okay. Have only been talking with people on the twitter machine and looking up more nonsense from the FIFA Mafia that is currently running the world.

I'm not going to lie if I had a vote, I would just rip up the ballot and say, "Bump you guys." I probably would have walked to my car and it would have exploded but hey at least I stand for something...

Although if they were to give me enough money, I would listen...

..Hey I'm human I can't let a little thing like ethics get in the way of free money.

I truly hope that I don't have to explain myself for that last statement. Sarcasm!

Currently watching the All Whites getting a footballing lesson against Mexico and just wondering about if I can manage not to lose my sanity without a car. There aren't really many places for me to go outside of work and who needs to go out and actually meet people??

I mean I don't. I am well-hated in these mean streets of the Triangle Area. Ask about me....

You can hate the Playa, Don't Hate the Game...

2011-05-25T10:48:00.003-04:00

I had this argument with somebody the other day of why Lebron isn't the best player in this league. I was stunned by what he was saying. I can say that I am not a Lebron fan but I do watch a lot of basketball and I can say without a doubt that Bron Bron is the best right now. The only real argument that this person was making was that he didn't like Lebron so therefore he isn't the best.

I can't stand that argument. If you hate somebody and don't want them to win trophies that is one thing. If you hate somebody and say that they aren't better than another person that's another thing all together.

I am going to spin it to football because that is more in my wheelhouse. I think about players that I hate with a passion. Cristano Ronaldo, Sergio Ramos, and Carlos Tevez (I can go on for days) are players that I despise whether it is acting like a primadonna or not showing any sort of loyalty to any club that he has been on. When they step on the field, I am not going to lie I hope they don't do well. When they do, I tip my cap to them and say that was a sick move, tackle, or goal. Then I'll say, "If I see them on the street, I will beat them with a baseball bat."

Their play doesn't change my thoughts of them as people because that is why I am disliking them. The only way I will dislike a player for what they do in game action is whether they make a horrible tackle and don't feel any remorse or if they tried to cheat the game by repetitive diving among other things.

I guess I am just the type of player that see all footballers as who they are on the pitch for the most part. If they do something good, I will tweet the sickness of the move and then say I still dislike the person.

I think most fans need to start thinking along these lines before they make arguments they can't really win in. I am not going to argue whether Cristano Ronaldo is better than well..... any other player other than Messi because his statistics, trophy haul, and impact on a game doesn't lie. He is one of the best out there. I can still say I dislike the fool but I can't disregard all of what he has done in the game so far.

I'm going to get back to where I started earlier

So whenever you want to hate on Lebron James for what he does, you can hate all you want but you can't say though that he isn't the best player in the NBA right now by just claiming your dislike for his decision-making as a person.

Hate the playa all you want but the game is too hard to hate...

Then Go For It!!

2011-05-02T21:58:00.003-04:00

After their first leg defeat at home to Barcelona, Jose Mourinho proclaimed that the tie was over. We know this is probably one of those head game tactics that he tends to do. Key players won't be able to play a part in this match-up (Pepe and Sergio Ramos). Maybe he truly believes that they can't beat them at the Nou Camp. If that is the case, then why doesn't he just go for broke?

What is the difference between losing 2-0 on aggregate or 5-0? Understood that the Nou Camp is a huge pitch that exposes holes in the opposition's backline if they play high enough. But I just think that at this point, you feel like the tie is lost before stepping on the pitch. Why not unleash your players to do things that they are accustomed to instead of holding them back? Obviously Mourinho feels that he can beat this Barca team (that is why he is at least planning on staying for another year), this game could be a guide of what players to target in the transfer window.

Mou is a winning first type of manager. So even though he feels the tie won't be won, then he'll keep his players held back until he can find counter-attack situations and set pieces to wreck havoc in the Barca back-line. I just feel in the long-term, this game could be served as a blue-print for the future of Madrid. At the same time, I don't think Mourinho is trying to care about Madrid's far future.

This Clasico, I can say with a great amount of satisfaction that I won't be watching it. I do wonder how the result is going to be or is there going to be any talking points at all. I am hoping that the two teams get into a fight though. That will make my season..

Balotelli doesn't like light-skinned bruhs

2011-04-30T11:23:00.006-04:00

I am sitting here on this Saturday morning (hungover-free as a matter of fact) and I am watching the first matches of day. I go to the tabloid websites and I see that Balotelli has gotten into a fight with one of his teammates again. This time he got frustrated when Vincent Kompany gave him a hard tackle.

Now I can talk about how much of a brat that he is. However this time around, I feel like a conspiracy theory will do. It will probably not be true but it'll do.

Haven't you noticed that Balotelli has been getting into fights with light-skinned black guys?? First Boateng, then him and Rio Ferdinand got into it after the FA Cup Semifinals, now Kompany. It leads me to believe that he has a serious problem with light-skinned bruhs.

Honestly, I don't know how many light-skinned bruhs were around Italy but I think that there were at least some that bullied Balo while he was a child. They took his lunch-money, they kicked the shit out of him in soccer, and they probably took the ladies he was chasing after. It is a lot of things for a little kid to handle. All he wanted to do was to play soccer and enjoy his childhood. These light-skinned bruhs just took all the joy out of his life.

That is why Balotelli always looks so sulky. He has been dealing with being bullied all the time. He didn't have many problems while he was in Inter because there were probably one or two of them. When he went to Manchester City, the flashbacks followed him. Light-skinned bruhs everywhere, I heard he gotten into a fight with the airport security guards on his way to Manchester. He has never been able to deal with these guys.

He told his Italian manager that he needs help. He needs help to get rid of the demons of these lighter brothas taking his shine all the time. He wants to treat everyone as an equal. He is a good kid but very misunderstood and it is no wonder. Chico Debarge types jock his style at every step. One moment he is smiling, the next he is receiving a parking fine by none other, The light-skinned brother.

Balo wants to move back to Italy now because there is a lesser populations of these people there than in England. His football will improve and he will most definitely not get into the fights that he has been getting into lately. I truly believe that he will reach the potential of a world-class footballer if he could just not see "those" people ever again...

Oh Barca, I can't look at you the same.

2011-04-28T14:58:00.005-04:00

Get your ass up, you are not hurt!!!

The true Barca supporters will still support their team as if nothing happened yesterday. The neutrals who love watching Barca will take notice of the diving and gang-mentality tactics of the Barcelona team.

We always watched them when the game was always easy and they would pass around the pitch as if they were playing in a training match. Messi would mesmerize us with his skill and grace. Xavi and Iniesta would wow us with their passing and creative abilities. Puyol is a small little fella but still has a heart of a champion.

However last night, I think was my last night that I will ever even give Barca sympathy. Don't get me wrong, I already dislike Real Madrid with a passion and they do things that piss people off. But when I saw Pedro flopping around on the ground when just barely getting pushed over and Dani Alves getting on a stretcher and then seconds later he is back on the field. All the time Barca players crowding and bullying the referee. I think if Barca doesn't crowd the ref and Dani Alves doesn't roll around on the ground and gets on a stretcher then Pepe probably gets a yellow instead of red.

It just showed the ugly side of Barcelona which there have been other instances in which it happened but these three Clasicos have magnified the situation. Crowding around referees and getting into it with the opposing teams officials like what Jose Pinto did yesterday. It reminds me of how I dislike Manchester United now.

I use to not mind Manchester United. It was the first team that I followed regularly. I didn't love them but I did follow them for a little bit. I use to listen to them on internet radio because it was the only place I could find them. However when I begun to watch them on television and saw Gary Neville acting like a piece of shit, also Roy Keane trying to break people's legs on challenges, and they bullied the referees into giving them penalties. It turned me off to them.

Fans will say, "well everybody does it even your team does it." Yeah I am sure that my favorite team does do it. I don't like it when they do but I still have an invested interest in them. I just use to enjoy watching Barcelona play. I can still watch them but I don't think I will want them to win games though. Now I will watch the final Clasico game and just hope for a big fight to break out. That will be the only thing that I will be rooting for...

You don't like me, and I don't like you

2011-04-26T21:20:00.006-04:00

(Warning: whenever I say, "You" I don't mean my real friends. I am cool with them. It is to those pretenders)

I am just pretending that I can hear that Rocko song, "Do Me" on my title.

Who do we kid? We have people that we don't like. Everybody wants to be likeable but everyone can't be liked. I definitely want to be likeable but I know that some people will just not give me the time of day.

So guess what? I shouldn't be giving these people the time of day. I can't pretend to be friendly with people who give me the side-eye almost immediately. I don't think I can pretend that at all. It begins to eat at me, "Why am I even letting this person think that I want to be friends with them??"

I know I trip about these things a lot. I often imagine things that aren't there. However, body language tells wonders about many people and how they feel about you.

Like someone looking at their phone the whole time they are at a movie or dinner with you. Or someone saying Hi then before you can say "how are you?" They are faster than Sonic the Hedgehog to go to the next direction.

I've always said that if you don't like me. You don't have to say anything to me. Maybe I should just start it and not greet you. So at least they can find an valid excuse of why they don't like me instead of parading around like they are cool because I want to be their friend but they have no interest in being mine. Don't pretend. Be who you are. You don't like me. Fine! I can handle that. I'm 25 years old and have cool friends already. You'll just be another one of those people, I see for a quick instance and forget immediately.

I am sure that is what you want and that is definitely what I want...

Indecision

2011-04-26T20:58:00.005-04:00

I start writing on this blank screen.

I stop. Erase. and start over.

Then I begin to write something that I can relate to. I begin to think about it. 'Wait a minute, I don't think you'll be able to relate to this at all.'

Erase. Start Over.

I write about soccer for a few good paragraphs.

However about one or two are interesting in what I say about soccer.

Erase.

Go on twitter and write something 140 characters long and forget that I was even going to write anything on my blog.

I have been going through this type of confusion for a while now. The last time I wrote was really inspired by a "war" of some sort. Honestly I haven't had much more inspiration other than that. I begin writing about my life. It seems like nothing's there. It is pretty lifeless on my end. I work. I party (sometimes too crazy for my own good). Then the weekend is over. And I begin to complain about things that could potentially be only in my own crazy imagination.

I guess that 100 posts this year that I aimed for isn't going to happen. I think I get caught up in what people are interested in reading and not thinking about this page as a place for me to get together my thoughts. I use to own my blog. Now I think you guys own it. It isn't a shot, it just leaves me more indecisive of what to write instead of just going in on what I want to.

So I'll throw out that 100 post promise and I will just promise to keep things real with myself on this page. No matter how much I complain, no matter how much it doesn't make sense to others. I just have to keep this page about me because this place that I call a blog is.......

.... my lil world. right???

A Tragic Story

2011-04-21T14:00:00.006-04:00

This guy started an unprovoked war against me. I really don't understand it honestly.

I am not going to fire back though.

I am going to tell you about a person I know by the name of Christopher Beatrice "Aaron" West. Ya'll didn't know his real middle name was Beatrice? He hides it pretty good. I'll just call him Aaron for the story since that is what he wants to be called.

August of 1986, Aaron was born in the North Carolina. The doctors first thought that he was a girl but they realized that he was a boy. His parents saw that as funny so they gave him a middle name of Beatrice.

He had a pretty rough childhood. If your middle name was Beatrice, you would too right? He was one of the smallest kids in his preschool and he was always made fun of and beaten up. The final straw for his parents was when at the age of 6 he was beaten up by a three year old. They knew that it was about that time that he was home-schooled.

After that episode, his childhood wasn't too bad. He never really left his house except for soccer and his dancing classes that he took. Well actually it was mostly dancing because he would get cut from his rec teams.

How do you get cut from rec teams? I don't know but he managed to do so.

Back to the story, he was actually a pretty good dancer. He knew all the moves and since he watched his good share of television, he mastered all the moves. He would enter these dance competitions and dominate them. All the girls wanted him but he ran away from them because he didn't have much experience with them being home-schooled and all.

He went to Davidson College outside of Charlotte and there his life changed completely. He met this guy named Juan, who is still one of his good friends. And Juan taught him all the ropes of become a real person. He taught him how to wash his clothes, use a computer, and more importantly talk to girls. Aaron used his skills well and with his dancing abilities, he wooed the misguided women of Davidson and he turned from a geek to one of the most popular kids on campus.

He moved back to Chapel Hill after college and his good luck followed him there. He hung out with the cool people there and danced by himself for no apparent reason at all. However the girls loved him for that. He did not even have to talk for them to come over and try to holla at him.

He was on top of the world until a fateful day just a year ago....

Aaron went to his favorite spot on this night and he was doing his thing, sporting his mohawk and enjoying the night. Then this guy named Joseph saw him and got mad. Joseph walked up to Aaron and told him that he wanted to dance battle. Aaron was confident in his ability so he agreed. The battle was intense. They went back and forth with each other. Countering each dance move with a better one. Until Aaron had run out of dances and Joseph hit him up with a dougie/cat daddy combination that won him the battle. Joseph got a threesome with two blond models that night.

Aaron, who wasn't accustomed to losing these days, ran out of the bar as fast as he could. I was there, I saw him and said, "damn, he's fast!! that n**** should have ran track instead of trying to stomp the yard and ish."

He was never seen again at the bars. I heard that he is now hanging out with emo kids. He lives with them in a van by the river. Drinking PBRs, wearing tight jeans, smoking weed, and wearing a disgusting moustache which you see above.

It is sad to see someone with soo much promise just let it fade away.

Bizarre Enough

2011-04-04T00:33:00.004-04:00

This seems to hit on the range of the bizarre. Yesterday, Fulham unveiled a statue of Michael Jackson outside of Craven Cottage before their match with Blackpool. I understand that Mohamed Al Fayed, Fulham's owner, was Michael Jackson's close friend. And even that he went to a match in 98' but to me it seems just like more publicly for Fulham. I would hate to say that, noting that Michael passed away just a couple of years ago. However how are you going to get more people to notice your club? Erect a statue of one of the greatest performers ever. Even Sportscenter and other US media sites have discussed this.

I understand why most football enthusiasts are upset about this. Statue around stadiums are suppose to mean something to those that go there every weekend. You know the saying, "The Stadium Ruth built" The statue has to identify with the fans. Or the statue of Michael Jordan outside of the United Center. He helped make the Chicago Bulls who they are so he deserves it. What will the statue of Michael Jackson stand for at Craven Cottage? Most purists will be highly upset because it isn't as if he donated sums of money to the club or helped out the club in any other way as in saying that it was his favorite club.

I am a big Michael Jackson fan, I like most of his music. However being a football fan also, I think it is disrespect to those who do have to go to the park every matchday. It will be nice for tourist to see it and take pictures for sure. However I think there are better ways to remember the King of Pop other than a statue outside of a football stadium.

April Fools Jokes Free Zone

2011-04-01T16:29:00.003-04:00

Person: Yo! Dre I heard there are a couple of girls that want to holla at you.
Me: Let me guess, April Fools right?
Person: Yeah!! HA HA HA!
Me: that would have been a good one if I wasn't clearly expecting it.

This isn't a true conversation or anything, I really just wanted to start this post with something funny for everyone. I am not the April Fools type of person, I am not good at the whole thing and honestly I haven't had to deal with April Fools Jokes for a while now. (last year I was in New Zealand and people didn't do April Fools Jokes. The year before I don't think I saw anybody that day). I think it would be cool if someone joked a whole group of people. I could be on board with that and can handle being fooled there.

I am currently having a problem with all of these jokes on twitter. Not that they aren't in good taste but for the most part I go there for the majority of my news. Seeing how people are or just getting certain types of news (football and other headlines). Now I have a day where I can't look at a tweet and wonder if it is true or not? One of the people I followed said that he has signed with the MLS, I thought it was true because it was still March 31 here and I am guessing that it was April 1 there. Then I read a couple of stories that I believed were true but then keep on reading more sources and found out that I've been fooled.

I guess my gullibility on those issues are very clear to see and also I cannot really have any April Fools jokes myself because I don't think anybody would believe it anyways. So I am going to keep my hands clean of any jokes and be a zone for these types of tomfoolery (like that, tomfoolery). However I don't think that I will be able to steer clear of any people's jokes if they come with the right delivery so I have to keep my eyes open..

Neymar, Look at another Country. Or here's another thought...

2011-03-30T21:10:00.005-04:00

After last weekend's game against Scotland, Neymar has been in high demand for Chelsea and Manchester City in England. Probably many more teams in other countries are looking to make him a wealthy man also.

My Opinion:
STAY AWAY FROM ENGLAND!! How many South American attackers have been successful in the Premiership? Alright there is Carlos Tevez, but I will give you time to go through all the almanacs, wikipedia, and google to find other successful attacking players from South America (namely Argentina and Brazil). Even Tevez is an anomaly because he isn't in the mold of most South American strikers. He doesn't mind defending and pressuring from the front which for most players they would not be bothered to do such a thing. Robinho has been a hit with AC Milan but could not crack the side at Manchester City. Probably not given the chance to shine. He could not handle the weather and the life in Manchester wasn't suitable to him like most other players.

English clubs do have a prejudice of South Americans. They are too flashy and too individualistic. Managers often tell these players not to do the things that got these players signed in the first place. Plus the rough and tough English Premier League style doesn't seem to favor players like Neymar. Especially in the winter where it is very foreign for most players coming from South American countries.

A Wild Idea:
If Santos is able to pay the money? Why doesn't he stay in Brazil? There is a thought. Many players go to Europe and find out that it isn't there cup of tea. They want to go back home (ask Carlos Tevez). When Robinho left for Europe, he did not play up to his billing. Then he went back to Santos and started playing some of his best football and got himself back in the National Team. I do not think that playing overseas has the same standard in places like Brazil or Argentina than it does in Australia or the United States for example. Most Australian players are encouraged to go to Europe to improve. Most South Americans don't need that training.

I have to take into account that most of these countries don't have the money to pay the players and it isn't entirely up to the players to go to Europe. However I think if Santos can pony up the money, then why not keep him there. Pele never made the jump to another country until his career was coming to an end. Neymar is a hot commodity but as we seen in a couple of international games, he can hold his own to European competition without the European training.

Maybe he wants the challenge of the European game or his agent wants to cash in on a huge pay-day. I cannot fault him for wanting to scratch that itch, however I hope he is being counseled the right way and doesn't make a decision that stunts his growth. If he does go to Europe, I'd rather see him in Spain or Italy because they won't try to mold him into a robot.

However, I could be wrong about this decision as I've been wrong about many other things. That is why this is just a blog and it is just my opinion...

About that time to hang that other cleat up.

2011-03-23T22:06:00.003-04:00

We were out training and we were talking about one of our friends who was trying out for a team in Wilmington. He is definitely good enough to make the team and start in a lot of the games. However when they offered him a contract, they only gave him $500/month and no housing. I was just thinking to myself: Gee, I make much more than that in two weeks time in my job. They can't even give the guy housing??

That is when I knew that chasing this dream is over for me. I like to have fun when I play football not worry about having to feed myself and competition over starting spots. I mean that isn't even close to minimum wage for a real job.

I just feel like if someone plays in that type of league making almost next to nothing for the next seven years or so. Once the career is over, it is back to square one and trying to figure out what to do with the rest of one's life. It is something I would not want to think about at 34 or 35, I rather have things sort of figured out by then, yeah?

I know what you are thinking. But Dre what if I am able to play well enough to get to the MLS?
I understand that logic. However how many people in the modern MLS makes that leap from Second and Third Division clubs in the US? I don't know the statistics but I don't think that many are successful in their pursuit for that. Especially when MLS is trying to become an legitimate league by bringing in foreign players and developing Academies for those MLS clubs. The chances become practically impossible for those lower level players.

I don't knock those guys for pursuing the dream. Keep on, I am still a wee bit jealous of them. However I know the reality that even if I do make a team (USL Pro or NASL), I would probably be a reserve player. Would not hate that but it would stop me from my pursuits after my last professional kick.

In turn, I had one boot hung up and now I am officially hanging up the other one. I want to play with my people and have fun doing the thing I love. It isn't about getting paid for doing something you love because actually it becomes more of a burden than one realizes (I can explain that to you if you don't understand). I just want to step onto the park, breath the nice Spring air, kick around, and love doing what I love to do without people critique my every kick...

Viewer's Choice =)

2011-03-21T23:26:00.004-04:00

Someone actually listened to what I said. I asked on my twitter page if anyone has any ideas that I should write about on my blog and I have found one to write about.

Granted, I am not the most experienced in relationships. I have only really had two and both I can take most of the blame on them. Not because I cheated on them or anything, more because I didn't really have clear ideas on how a relationship is suppose to be like.

For those that don't know me, I use to be very antisocial. In high school and part of college, I never really got out and met many people. Plus most of my high school experiences were spent traveling the southeastern part of the country and playing soccer. It was something I wanted to do so I can't blame anyone but myself for all that.

In fact my first relationship started college, I didn't know what I was doing. I liked the girl a lot but I don't know if I was ready for the juggling act that was necessary. You know balancing out time with her, time with friends, and time for soccer because soccer was all I knew for 13 years before it. I definitely didn't do my best as a good boyfriend at that point in time and I can admit that.

Second one ended more because of the distances rather than anything that went wrong. I didn't see it fair for someone to wait for what I was doing because I was chasing the soccer thing. Going from LA to Atlanta and then eventually to New Zealand (that New Zealand thing was after we split anyways).

I feel something that makes a good relationship is for the two people to have common ground on most things. Obviously you'll disagree with some things that each other say, everyone argues from time to time. The friends that I have who are in relationships have many things in common whether it is personality, style, or other things like sport, video games, etc.

Being with someone that you can't talk to about something you like, I don't know it really doesn't seem like that relationship is going to work out. There needs to be much more substances than just sleeping together and eating.

Me? Right now I haven't found anyone that I like (or likes me) that I can have some sort of common ground with. Granted, common ground doesn't have to be that they have to like soccer or anything like that. It could be that they are comfortable in their skin and don't think they are all that. I like hanging out with normal people who don't act snobbish. It really turns me off in anyone even if there are a friend.

I would not say that I am not actively looking for a relationship but I am letting life flow. I use to get real angry whenever I felt rejected or I've liked someone but the feelings weren't mutual. I am curbing the anger on being rejected and I am letting this play out. I can't rush things and it isn't an exact science. If it was then I would have found a way to figure it all out, right?

Another Drab Performance

2011-03-20T14:23:00.004-04:00

Mancini, Mancini, Mancini.. Your "proven" way of defensive soccer does not work. Getting players behind the ball all the time. Having no service for David Silva and Edin Dzeko. Playing Yaya Toure out of position among other things.

I watched the Chelsea and Manchester City game, I understand that the game is being played in Stamford Bridge and you want to start defending the game first. However with the money that is being spent at Eastlands, the fans and owners want an attacking brand of football. There is no reason why this should not be happening.

I could count about three players who had adequate games in the circumstance. Unfortunately there are all defensive players (De Jong, Kompany, and Lescott). Dzeko didn't have the proper service and David Silva didn't have the correct movement of his players around him. It is frustrating to those that are in the side that they can't do more.

Bringing on attacking players once you have to chase the game isn't the correct option. Waiting until 10 minutes left in the match to bring on attacking options rarely gives you results. Meanwhile, Chelsea becomes proactive and brings on attacking players while they are still in the 0-0 stalemate. Drogba supplies the free kick for David Luiz to score on. Ancelotti out-coached Mancini on that front.

Carlos Tevez could have been a big difference to this game. Dzeko doesn't seem to me to be able to put the team on his back and carry them through a game. He needs proper service to score goals. Tevez makes most things out of absolutely nothing. I can't blame Mancini for that because Tevez couldn't play due to an injury.

I understand punishing Balotelli for getting a needless red card in their Europa League tie on Thursday. He can still turn the game on its head given the starting opportunities. Granted, they run the rest of him becoming hot-headed and getting another red-card but I think these are some of the chances that needed to be made to become a top four side.

I don't know if a top-four finish will be able to save Roberto Mancini. They peaked too early this season and I do not think that he has the respect of the players on the team. Players aren't going to believe in their manager if their manager doesn't believe in the ability of the team to win.

Then again, what manager out there will be able to maximize City's potential???

An Successful and Unsuccessful Transfer

2011-03-19T18:53:00.003-04:00

Of course since my ideas are jumbled up in my brain, I decided to post another one of my assignments that I did on my course. So warning to those who don't have any care about soccer, I would just close out the blog and just say when am I going to hear about what is going on in Andre's life. Well I can just give u a brief, "I am working and trying to get on with life." and then that is it.

I had to write about what transfers that I thought were successful and which I thought were unsuccessful and I jotted down my ideas on here.

Warning: These are just my thoughts, you might have your own opinion. Well this isn't your blog haha, but you can give me some of your opinions on my comment page.

Unsuccessful Transfer: Jo, CSKA Moscow to Manchester City 19 million pounds

Manchester City bought a Brazilian by the name of Jo. He was bought from CSKA Moscow for about 19 million pounds. Even though he started at Eastlands when he was 19 years of age, he was undoubtedly a failure of a transfer so far. He has been loaned out to Everton and Galasataray during his time with City and is more than likely going to leave the club with a lesser transfer fee than they bought him with. He has only scored six goals in his City career with only one of them coming in Premier League action. I always have the thought that Brazilians never worked well in England. Whether it was due to the cold weather, style of play, or the English lifestyle, I never felt as if they ever adapted well in England. Also in the next couple of years, they bought better strikers like Tevez, Adebayor, and now Dzeko. Jo did not stand much of a change of succeeding; also they have played him out of position at times this season. Roberto Mancini has had him out wide and further away from goal. He has not officially left Manchester City even though he is on loan; the front office is looking at ways to transfer him for a suitable fee.

Successful Transfer: Cristiano Ronaldo Sporting Lisbon to Manchester United 12.24 million pounds

The most successful transfer I believe is when Cristiano Ronaldo went from Sporting Lisbon to Manchester United. During his time with United, he has become one of the world’s best players. He signed with the club for 12.24 million pounds in the 2002-03 season. He started out slow with the club however he broke out in the 2006 season by scoring 23 goals in all competitions then he surpassed that by scoring 42 goals and leading his club to the Premiership title and a Champions League trophy. He ended that season by winning FIFA World’s Player of the Year. He became the first Premier League player to win the award. He would later move on to Real Madrid after the 2008-2009 season. I believe that it was a successful transfer on Manchester United, not only because of the success he brought to the club, but he was sold for almost eight times of his United transfer when he went to Real Madrid (80 million pounds)

My Life

2011-03-14T14:31:00.003-04:00

I haven't disappeared from the face of Planet Earth or anything but I have sort of tried to get around to place to place. I was in Wilmington on Saturday and that was fun even though there weren't many people out that night but all in all it was a good night.

The more eventful happening was the road rage that I was encountering on the ride back home. People giving me the finger and an old man tried to veer in my lane on time. I am like guys calm down, it is a Sunday afternoon. Enjoy the ride, you guys don't have anywhere to go.

I've just been working a lot and playing some soccer in the meantime. I don't really have much going on in the moment. I've been playing a lot of video games and downtime to look up wikipedia information (yeah it has gotten to that point). I am getting comfortable about being at my place even if it is just sleeping, video games, and tv.

Like I said in an earlier post, I have been taking a soccer scouting and operations course so it will speed up the process of becoming a scout. I feel as if that will be a better choice for me. I don't know if I would be the greatest coach but I think I have a good eye to find players since I watch lots of soccer everyday.

So I am having my soccer glasses on at all times and not just watching the game but also watching certain players and certain trends in the game. I've been posting some of my assignments recently. I may post more soon to come.

Other than that, I have a boring life. TV and computer have become my best friends as they talk to me a lot. I am not asking for any attention, I am somewhat comfortable where I am at so I am just going to live life how I can take it and try to make of what I can of it..

Analyzing Manchester City and Barcelona

2011-03-06T17:31:00.004-05:00

I am currently taking this course in Soccer Scouting and Operations. One of my assignments was to discussion in detail two clubs from different countries. Compare and Contrast the teams, the leagues, and what would you do to change teams without making any transfers.

"I chose to describe the English Premier League's Manchester City and the Spanish La Liga leaders Barcelona.

Manchester City was founded in 1880. They currently play their football in the English Premier League. City is in third place behind Manchester United and Arsenal respectively. Their manager is Roberto Mancini, an Italian coach who formely managed Inter Milan. Their history is not the greatest. Their last trophy came in the League Cup in 1976.

However with the new ownership of Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan and their influx of money. The Citizens have been able to buy top players like Carlos Tevez, Yaya and Kolo Toure, David Silva, and Mario Balotelli among others. Their aims are to qualify for the Champions League and eventually win the English Premier League.

Their main rival is Manchester United. In recent history, United has gotten on the better end of these derby matches but City has closed the gap competitively against them.

Barcelona is currently leading the Spanish La Liga. They are currently seven points ahead of Real Madrid. They are coached by Barca legend, Pep Guardiola. Barca is lead by some of the best players in the game with Xavi, Iniesta, Messi, and David Villa. They have a high powered offense that could score in the drop of a dime.

Their recenty history has been good. Winning the La Liga several of times and also winning the Champions League twice in the last decade. They also have legendary players like Johan Cruyff, Romario, Ronaldo, Hristo Stoickhov, and Ronaldinho.

Comparing Styles of Play
Manchester City uses a combination of English football and Italian football due to their manager Roberto Mancini. They sometimes boom the ball up field to their tall striker, Edin Dzeko. When they get into big games, they crawl into a defensive shell and pin all their hopes on Carlos Tevez, he is one of the best lone-wolf strikers in the game today.

Barcelona on the other hand, plays free-flowing attacking style of football. They pass and move until they are able to unlock the opposition defence. Barca makes the matches look like practice with their constant movement. They also smother teams when the they have the ball. They pressure all over the field so they can get the ball in a better position so they can score more goals.

The Leagues.
The EPL is a rough and tough league. It is very rapid fire. Most of the better teams are able to get the ball on the ground and start passing around. The worse off teams often try to boom the ball forward and hope for the best. They often bully teams rather than play football.

The La Liga is a bit more calm and relaxed. Most if not all of the teams like playing the ball short and keep it on the ground. That is why Barca and Real Madrid are so good because they have better players that play that high quality football.

Weather.
In England, the weather is often cold in the winter and mild in the late summer and early spring months. That is why brute force is used because playing short in sometmies icy pitches aren't helpful for the leading clubs.

Spain is a much more Mediterranean climate which is much more warmer than in England. So they can play their brand of passing football and individual players can shine in that style.

What I would change:
What I would do for Manchester City is play with a 4-3-3 formation that would have two defensive midfielders and David Silva has the playmaker who is a part of that three man midfielder. I would like my chances with a Tevez, Dzeko, Balotelli three man attack, when healthy. Balotelli is experienced at playing on the wing and him and Tevez would be comfortable cutting the ball inside and getting their own shots.

What can you really change from this Barcelona lineup? They are almost perfect. The only thing I would change is shelf the 3-5-2 lineup for good. They played this lineup against Valencia on Wednesday and almost got punished for it in the first 25 minutes of that game. The three back was never comfortable, so if I could change anything on that team is that I'd never play that lineup ever again."

Benzema for First Choice Striker of Real Madrid!!....for a little bit at least

2011-02-22T18:30:00.005-05:00

For all it's worth, I do think that Karim Benzema is a capable player. I just didn't enjoy his whining last year while Gonzalo Higuain was first choice striker, rightfully so in my opinion. I am the type of person that never forgets a cry-baby. So after Higuain was lost for this season, I thought that Real Madrid should look for a striker. Tevez? Drogba? I did not think that Benzema could carry the load. I think my view was a little jaded through my opinion of him.

He was off-form for a little while in the beginning of the season. It could have been due to him not playing much due to Higuain and it could have been due to the technical director (Valdano) and manager (Mourinho) arguing on whether to stick with Benzema after Higuain's injury or find a new striker. Soon enough though Jorge Valdano won out at least a little bit and Benzema got a bit more playing time as a result.

The last couple of games for Madrid and France, he has been impressive in my eyes. Watching the France-Brazil match probably got me to turning a new leaf on the guy and his ability to be the first choice striker for his club and country. So I can say that I am stand correct by the guy's performances the last couple of weeks.

Madrid decided to loan in Emanuel Adebayor. Now I can have my differences with Benzema however I feel as if he is a better player than Ade. Adebayor had one good season in Arsenal and I guess is still living on that memory. Noted, that Ade has had a lot to deal with over the last year (the incident in Angola at the African Nations Cup where the Togo NT bus was shot on), however he didn't pass my eye test. I would not pick him to be first choice striker of Madrid over Benz.

I don't know if Benzema has won over his manager. However he has at least won me over as a Real Madrid striker. I am concerned if Mourinho goes after a Didier Drogba and when Higuain comes back, he'll probably be back on the sidelines again. I think he can be a first-choice striker for a top team and he needs to be in order for France to achieve anything in the next four years (Euro 2012 and World Cup 2014).

I hope my praise of him doesn't lead to his overconfidence(even though I know he isn't listening)....

As I was typing this post, he scores on his first couple of touches of their Champions League match-up with his former club, Lyon. At least I am starting to get something right. Ha...

Me and My Blackbery

2011-02-19T03:57:00.004-05:00

I was revisiting most of my blog post (actually trying to remember if I wrote a posting that I am going to dedicate to all the ladies that I proclaimed that I like them). And I found out my Iphone vs Blackberry post. I noticed that no one wrote anything down for that. I thank you for that, not really. However I know which phone I like right about now. Even though I haven't really tried out the Droid phone and I don't really want to.

I received my blackberry around December because my other phone broke beyond repair. I knew I had insurance on it so when I went to receive my replacement phone, I didn't know that I needed to upgrade. When the Blackberry box came to my door, I was surprised and I didn't think that it was mine. I called up AT&T to make sure they didn't make a mistake.

Fortunately, they did not make a mistake. I received the right phone and I haven't regretted it since.

I am a fan of the Blackberry due to its keyboard. The iphone is touch-base and I know that I'm not a fan of a touch phone. I know that I am a messy person at times and I like touching my phone a lot so having a touch phone while I have grease on my hands isn't a good look on many people's account.

Plus, I have fat fingers. At least I think I have fat fingers so whenever I would type on a touch phone, it would often give me the wrong letters. While having my blackberry curve, I can type my letters on a keyboard and feel at least good about myself. Plus most of their apps fit my needs. I love Blackberry AppWorld.

The decision was made for me rather than me making a decision. I got a Blackberry and haven't regretted my decision. Plus some of my friends still have them so I can BBM them rather than text and not waste any more money than I have.

I won't hate on a Iphone. I think any smart phone is the way to go. Especially if you are away on travel and don't feel like carrying your laptop around. You can get anything you want on a smart phone rather than finding a Wi-Fi service on your laptop and hoping it would work. It could save you whenever you need help. You won't know until you'll need it the most.

I'm going to stay with the Blackberry for a while. It fits my needs plus I found an otter-box to protect my phone. I heard that Iphone's are shaky when it comes to protection. I'm just glad that I finally have gotten out of the stone age and now I can finally be a real person...

I Am Cool! I don't have to prove a thing to anybody!!!

2011-02-18T07:50:00.003-05:00

I know a lot of people.

Yeah that is a general statement but true. I do know a good amount of people and knowing these people fills you in on the make-up of certain human beings. I hang out with many different personalities. Some are cool, some are "normal", and some are crazy in ways that many can't imagine.

I start off this blog post with this because these personalities have many different ways in which they handle things. People buy a ticket to this roller coaster called life and go through their ups and downs. And others live stay level and are in tune with what their life is and are comfortable that they are doing what they are suppose to be doing.

I am an observant person for the most part. I am probably more observant than I actually need to be. There are people who want to be cool, there are also people who are actually cool, then there are people who kind of just chill on the sidelines. The people who try to act cool really get on my nerves. I see them all around, trying to impress girls, trying to impress other friends and just looking very ridiculous.

Being yourself is cool enough. If someone has to feel as if they need to prove something to other people, I feel like that is the wrong way to go. People like other people for being themselves. If their personality isn't with the people they hang out with, then that is a problem that they have to deal with and find some friends who can actually relate to each other.

Most of my friends are comfortable with themselves. They don't try to act like they need to prove something to someone because they don't need to prove anything to me. I am pretty easy to get along, I don't deal well with people who act one way around certain people, then act another way around others. Consistency is a key ingredient to any type of friendship.

If someone acts the same around people that they act around everyone, people can respect that. If you are consistent with your behavior and people dig that, then no one can fault you with that. It is just when someone changes how they are to prove that they want to be cool with other people.

I know this person now that I've figure out that they don't really have any concern about being my friend. They would rather make fun of me or try to make me look bad so that they could look good to everyone else. I can't respect that. And it finally took me until a couple of days ago to figure out that they aren't cool they just want to look good for everyone else.

If you are cool, you don't have to prove anything to anyone. I don't even think I'm cool and I still don't try to prove that I'm cool. I make fun of everybody accordingly. I don't try to make myself look good for the sake of other people. I don't think that is the right way to go about things.

And the other thing is that, that person doesn't really recognize this and tries to think that he is making himself look good on my expense. Let me tell you something, I don't have to prove my worth to anybody. People like me for me and if you don't like me then I won't blame you for anything. That is your opinion and you are going to stick with it. I won't try to change your opinion of me.

Let me end by saying that I have more to say. I am just done with this topic.

Call Me an Elitist

2011-02-16T18:50:00.003-05:00

I will admit this. I am a soccer snob. I do not like playing with people who aren't as good as I am. This is the only thing I am uppity about. Don't mistake it, I don't mind playing with players who are competent in the game. However when people wear khaki shorts or blue jeans, we can't play soccer together. It is just not going to happen.

I came up with this realization when we were playing pick-up yesterday. We were enjoying our game and these guys wanted to come up and play. We made some excuse about wanting to play in a shorter space and having two more guys come on will mess that up. In my mind, I just didn't want them to come on because it would make the game bad.

When we usually play with other players who we don't know, they often do dumb shit like chipping the ball in the air for no reason. Or do some stupid move that has them get the ball taken away from them and we end up losing the game.

The reason why I feel this way is because whenever I play I would like to get better or have a productive session of footy. I don't want to lose any of my soccer IQ playing against someone who trips over there own feet often and just doesn't get it. I'd rather just go to the side and juggle the ball for a little bit. It would be much more productive to my day.

Maybe I am a little crabby about playing against bad players because I do often drive between 15 to 20 miles to play. I want to get the most out of each session that I can. And I don't want to waste gas on being out there with players that could not start on their rec teams (now that is just a bit mean).

As my game gets worse over time (hopefully not soon), then I'll be able to get use to playing against the normal people. I'll come out of my high pedestal and join the common man in this beautiful game that I love...

The Start of Reevaluating

2011-02-14T20:35:00.004-05:00

I feel that I try to find miserable situations. I am pretty sure that I haven't really felt happy in a long time. I am not trying to make me feel bad about myself or you feel sorry for me. I just feel a difficulty of feeling happy at this point in time.

I guess it is sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy. If I want to be miserable, then I am going to be miserable. I don't want to feel pissed off over anything. However it comes easier than being happy about things. Shouldn't it be the other way around?

I wish that I could say that it was because of this day or anything along those lines. However I have not been feeling right for a long time. I mean there are certain moments where I am content about things. Then these moments disappear in a blink of an eye. And I am back to be dissatisfied about things.

I guess it isn't healthy either to find a quick fix to my problems. I am guilty about doing that at times. I think I can find one thing or another to keep me happy for a day or a weekend. Once that passes I often get more angry than before. I think I need a break from everything. I don't know if what I am doing now is working.

I always talk about re-evaluating my life as a joke but now I think I am going to have to start doing that. This (my life) is not working. I can't go through life in an unhappy state all the time. I know that and understand it. There is only one end for those people and I don't really want that for me.

Maybe I need some sort of guidance, I haven't been helpful on that front. I don't want someone telling me what to do maybe I just need someone to point me in the right direction. Every time since about 2008, I have pretty much made a lot of wrong turns and decisions that has got me back to zero.

I think I like writing things like this on my blog site just for a bit of understanding. I don't know if many of you understand how I feel when I am not around or talking to you. I feel at least a bit more comfortable when people at least know a bit more about me. I am not really comfortable about talking about it and maybe I need to. I don't think that I want to show any of my weaknesses if I do talk about it.

Just searching for a normal life, if I know exactly what that is...

Taking this Year off

2011-02-13T12:04:00.004-05:00

I was going to write this ridiculous blog posting about basically hating a holiday that isn't real and all that jazz but I probably should leave it alone and take this year off of making my assault on this day.

For starters 1) I've written lots of notes to myself saying that I don't like that crappy day or anything.
2) I don't think I would write a full post. I'd probably get to some point and just stop abruptly and not get something started.
3) I don't really want you guys to have the satisfaction of listening to misery.

So I am going to take the high road for once. Not say anything mean to people tomorrow and keep my thoughts about it to myself because I understand that it is my loneliness talking and I can handle that. Now I am not going to be happy all of a sudden but I am just going to keep my mouth close for once and let everybody enjoy their day. There are people that are happy and I should not try to rain on their parade.

Now if someone asks why I don't have a Valentine's and keeps on pushing it. Then I am not responsible for my action. Just let me get through my work-day, get home and play fifa for the rest of this day til I don't have to see these crappy commercials.

(Because I know fully that most of these stupid flowers will be sent to my office and I have to deliver them to people. Luckily I only work a half-day tomorrow)

Thanks...

Continuing to Try and Figure Myself Out

2011-02-08T13:28:00.006-05:00

It is ridiculous how I feel whenever I have a day off. Yesterday, I had my day off to deal with a couple of matters that had to be tended to. After I was done, I caught myself being incredibly bored and sort of wishing that I was at work.

I know what you are thinking. This job isn't well-paid nor am I being a full-time worker but still even though I act cranky due to working 9 to 6 sometimes. I actually do not mind it at the end of the day in which the day is almost over. Then all I have to do now is either chores or watch tv (often I watch tv).

I think that is why I cannot wait to hold down a full-time job. Now I don't have any kids (that I know of), no girlfriend, and really no priorities except for bills that I will need to pay. I think it is something that I am actually looking forward to. Work during the week and possibly "play" during the weekends, it is an intriguing prospect.

Don't get it twisted that soccer isn't in the rear-view yet, however I am beginning to take a more realistic view about things on that front. If I can't find somewhere that I know people in high-places at this point in time, the whole soccer thing isn't going to happen more than likely. I actually rather play on this CASL Elite team that I am on. A bunch of guys like myself who if dedicated themselves could still play but are realistic about their chances and like to have fun off the pitch.

So what am I saying? Am I giving up my dream? Am I ready to wear a suit? No and No but I can see a bit clearly on what I need to do to become independent for myself and not have to rely on people. I need to rely more on myself than others or I would put myself in trouble as I have done in the past...

The World is going to End

2011-01-28T17:55:00.003-05:00

I don't think the world is going to end however I think I am slowly going insane. Two weeks ago, my car bit the dust and I was told that I need a new engine in there. Which is weird because I have not had the car but for so long. For two weeks and one of the longest weekends that I've been through, I have been without a car and depending on people to take people places. I am not the type of person that likes depending on people for rides because they might have other things to do and I just don't want to be getting in the middle of that.

A couple of days ago my laptop just stopped working. I don't know what was going on with it. The screen just went black and has stayed black. I still don't know the cause of it as of now.

So now I don't have a car and a laptop. Two important parts of my current life. Need a car to get around and go to work and I just need my laptop because I love having it around. I don't know how else I am going to manage without it.

It could not get worse or could it??

I know I am making extreme statements and most people don't have a laptop or a car or even a house. So I am not necessarily concerned about these mishaps. It is a part of life that happens to everyone. I just need to roll up my sleeves and get over what is going on. Life moves on and I move forward. So I am going to stay on the move.

Everyone have a wonderful weekend and cherish the important things in life and not material things.

Marshawn Lynch: The True Meaning of Determination.

2011-01-19T14:19:00.003-05:00

This guy that did the Greg Jennings, "Put the Team on my back." and Ryan Grant's "Determination" video. I got to say one thing, if I ever had to play Madden against this fool. I would put some earphones on and tell this guy to Shut the Eff Up! at every moment.

But listen to him do his color commentary on Madden and even on real games are funny as anything. This video was from the Saints and Seahawks wild card match up a couple of weeks ago. When Marshawn Lynch broke through about eight tackles. So you know yo ole boy demetryjames86 had to chime in on the proceedings.

"Darren Sharper, Hold my Dick."

Ronaldinho: For the Love of the Game or Money or Partying??

2011-01-11T14:20:00.005-05:00

"(Ronaldinho) is not going to play because he likes his chosen team, because he loves them, because he wants to show the Brazilian public that he can still play - he will play for whoever gives him the most, and I think that is wrong.'" -Pele

This is after Ronaldinho shunned his old and hometown club, Gremio. The quote is pretty self-explanatory. Pele is disappointed in Ronaldinho for taking more money and going to Flamengo.

Ronaldinho says that his motivation is to regain his spot in the Brazilian National Team for the 2014 World Cup. Sounds like a decent reason to play to come back to play in Brazil but if that is fully the case he would be playing with his old club. Financial motivations come into play also. We do not know how much he stands to be paid by Flamengo and their chief sponsors. However it just does not smell right.

Dinho and his brother have been parading around trying to see who would be the highest bidder rather than letting it come to the heart. He makes it sounds as if he has been playing magical football lately. He has his moments but any footballing eye knows that this isn't the same footballer whose won World Player of the Year awards.

His World Cup aspirations? R10s out-going lifestyle is well-known. He isn't the best conditioned athlete anymore. Everyone understands that players should be able to cut-loose especially after games in which they've put their heart and souls. I don't blame anyone for relaxing for a night. However when partying exceeds training then that is where the problems arises. (I know *hits tummy*) He has been known to be late to training sessions and miss them altogether. For someone who wants to regain his national team spot, he has to show the motivation to be on the training pitch and actually play for his team. There are many young Brazilians who are ready and willing to stamp their claims on A Seleção.

Also being back in his homeland, he will be much more inclined to party and enjoy his life. Like I said, I don't have a problem with that. I also don't have a problem with him taking more money either. He knows that he has about four or five more good years left (if he stays in Brazil). He might as well make the most of that and if someone is willing to pay the man. Then show him the money....

http://worldfootball.dailymail.co.uk/2011/01/after-ronaldinho-could-david-beckham-play-in-brazil.html

The link above deals with the economics of Brazilian Football and why clubs are able to pay big money for star attractions. Also why it is highly unlikely that David Beckham could be drawn into playing in Brazil.

My Ice Adventure

2011-01-11T11:01:00.004-05:00

I wake up in the morning at around 8:55am. I haven't gotten the call that the building was closed or anything I have to rush now since I pretty much have to leave for the post office at 9am. So I brush my teeth, get my clothes on, and I head out to my car.

At my place there are a couple of steps going down to my driveway. For some dumb reason, I have a brain freeze and try to rush down the steps. At this point, I slip down to the first step, trying to grab the railings but they are frozen in ice. I luckily catch my footing before I fall and basically ruin my day.

Now, I am in my car with the windows frozen so I can't see out of my car. I'm already late getting out the house. So now I have to wait 15 to 20 minutes for my windows to be seeable. I just pass time at this point. I listened to ESPN Radio and impatiently waited til at least my windows were partially clear.

30 minutes later, I am driving to the post office, looking like a hunchback while doing it because I can at least see the bottom part of the windshield. So everything goes without a hitch. I get the mail and drive towards work.

I get to my exit and this car in front of me begins to swerve around. I don't know what he was thinking about. I wasn't driving fast enough or in any danger of getting in a wreck. I was just casually spectating until he just basically drove onto the grass. Luckily he had a big pick-up truck so he didn't suffer any damage but then I saw him driving off the other way, he was driving very slowly. He must have learned his lesson.

So I get to work. I get on the elevator with my tub of mail. I get to the mailroom and no one could be seen. If I would have said anything, there would have been an echo. Instead of just dropping my mail and running off back to home which I still don't know if I can actually do. I stamped the mail, put it in the correct boxes, and slumped down on this computer chair and begin talking to my loyal three in a half readers (don't know where I got three in a half from).

I mean for all it is worth, I am getting paid for this and something tells me that I don't really feel like going back out there in that nastiness for a while...

Andre: 1 Ice: 0

Rejected!!

2011-01-06T00:39:00.003-05:00

It is something about myself that I need to start getting over. I hate being rejected. It is a difference than just losing as in I can handle losing if me or my team didn't play well enough to win but just being rejected by people is a pet peeve that I can't get over.

For example, when I am trying to talk to somebody or dance with someone. They immediately dash off to the "bathroom" and hang out with a douchebag that they will eventually call a jerk later on. It pisses me off like none other. It makes me think: what exactly did I do wrong? What do I need to do differently? Do I need to bother? All those questions come to mind when I think about these things.

Also, when I get rejected I rarely get back up on the saddle and try again with somebody else. I kind of shut down and just sit or stand by myself. I know that needs to stop but it is kind of difficult especially when you feel inadequate. So I kinda stew in my rejection for a little while until later on I'm kicking a burrito into a bush.

I don't know what I can do about it. Counseling? Nah I'm not doing that. Lowering my standards? That definitely isn't happening. Maybe I just need to get over myself. I told myself that one of my resolutions would be not to get angry sometimes when I hang out. So maybe I shouldn't get angry when I get rejected. It happens to everybody.

Even Kobe gets rejected from time to time....

(With him, it is basketball though. I don't want to get it twisted)

The Mission Statement

2011-01-05T21:21:00.007-05:00

As you noticed my blog posting has decreased in each of the years that I've been doing this. I don't know how that is possible. In '08, I only had from August to December to get to 100 post. I decided that the mission for this year is get back to 100 posts.

This is going to be a difficult mission because I haven't had anything to stimulate my mind longer than for about 5 to 10 minutes (umm Pause just in case?). So now I am going to try and get back to reading the news, listening to people's garbage around the way and get out more (like going to the mall or to the park, etc.) so I can have some more motivation.

The reason that I decided to do this because I've been stuck at this house either lying on the couch, playing video games, or updating my twitter. I really need to get out of this place more often and see what is around me. That is what made my blogs much more interesting in the past years, I can see one person do something small and go in on it (definite pause x3) for a couple of pages on my blog.

So that is what I'm going to TRY to do. Let's say that this is another one of my resolutions. Even though I didn't plan on it being one of them.

Well just enjoy a picture with me and these ridiculous glasses...

Wreck! Wreck! Wreck

2011-01-04T16:03:00.003-05:00

(As you can tell with my profile pic on facebook that I enjoying watching people wreck. Well if it is an even fight that is. I don't want to see a midget fight someone who is huge. That isn't fair.)

The last couple of weeks Manchester City players have been involved with bust-ups in training. Notably Boateng and Balotelli, most recently Kolo Toure putting Adebayor in a headlock, these occurrences have been happening too much in this side.

One reason could be due to their high pay-wages that they think they are above everyone. They feel it is a privilege for them to be at training. Egos run high during training sessions and one mistimed tackle that could be innocent turns into a problem. No one probably wants to get hurt because if they are injured for a certain amount of time then it is possible that they could lose their spot on the squad. So anything that looks bad the victim will confront the tackler and ask him why he did that. Then the wrecking commences (Yesss!!!!)

People want to say that there is much disharmony on this team especially, I want to be a devil's advocate and say that this is how squads, groups, teammates, or employees are. Think about it, I know there are a few people at your job or your school that you want to fight in occasions. It is a part of seeing each other everyday. People know each others habits and how they act around each other. Someone will more than likely take offense with it and you have a conflict. We get irritated and lash out even at our friends during those times.

It doesn't mean that they dislike each other personally. Maybe they just have different personalities that clashed at a time. There have been times where fights have been started on teams I've been on. In fact I've been on a team where brothers had a fist fight and they still lived in the same house for the time being. It doesn't necessarily mean that they absolutely hate each other, maybe they just had a disagreement that went to fisticuffs. And each of those times they've made up and got on with their business.

I tend to think that these fights had to deal with ego more than just being a part of a team but it is something to think about. It doesn't affect their title hopes as I was telling one of my friends that this team has huge amounts of talent and their egos will ignore what is going on behind closed doors or in the training pitch and just get on with their business. Their pride won't allow them to needlessly lose games when they feel as if they can see the title ahead. Now will they be perennial title contenders? I don't think so. It will eventually crumble because it has a pretty flimsy foundation.

Scattered Thoughts of an Alien

2011-01-03T20:06:00.004-05:00

Alright, I've sat here for about two hours trying to free-write about things in my head. I decided to put on some music while I do this.

I went into work today. To say the least I wasn't feeling too well so I would try to "Do Less" for most of the day. It really didn't work too well as I was doing more than I thought. Fortunately everything went without a hitch. I did my copy jobs, print jobs, picked up the mail and dropped off that junk. I felt better as the day went along, I had to stop what I was doing at times just to keep me from feeling badly.

We have this motto for the new year since we are basically customer service reps (in disguise). I will try not complain about the small things that people can do for themselves but make us do. It is hard and you think that people are lazy however we all have to get on with our business because guess what? if they did everything themselves then what would we need to be used for?

My brain hasn't been working as I use to like it. It is not as if I haven't thought of anything. Everything has been random and scrambled thoughts. I cannot piece things together. I feel as my IQ is getting smaller and smaller as the days go by while I do my mindless work that I've been accustomed to. So I made one resolution to go back to school this year. I do not know which graduate courses I will take, hopefully that comes to me in the near future.

Second Resolution is something that I've been trying to do for a while now. Trying not to be upset that I am alone. Most if not all of my friends are in some relationship or another and I am usually the oddball in the group. There is no jealously on my part, I just think sometimes what is wrong with me? And of course with Alcohol involved, one gets angry. So I'm going to try to avoid needlessly getting angry.

Third Resolution: Just playing more soccer whenever I get the chance. It doesn't matter what it is. I have pretty much conceded the fact that I won't be playing professional soccer ever. That is cool with me and I am satisfied with what I have done. I went to New Zealand and almost won a national championship. I wish things would have worked out more over there but things happen for a reason and I am back here because I was brought back here for some reason or another. Alright that isn't the point, I just want to keep on playing because it has been the only thing that has ever brought me joy. Since I was a little kid playing, it has brought me. It has been the only constant in my life. Whenever I am not happy about something, I play the game that I love and my happiness comes back to me. It'll never go away.

Other resolutions that I have, I won't tell anybody because it is a bit embarrassing and too personal for this posting even though I am a personal guy myself.

I am not changing though. I will wear my pride on my shoulders and I will say what I am feeling if that is needed. So Happy New Years to everybody and I hope you stick to your resolutions. I will just continue in my mission of becoming a Martian. (I am looking to build a spaceship)

A bit of randomness never hurts.

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas

2010-12-24T19:55:00.003-05:00

It is the night before Christmas...um well this isn't a story I am just saying that it is the night before Christmas. This Holiday season has come with the quickness. I felt like a month ago I just started my job and I started working in July.

I know I complain a lot. I can't say that I will stop complaining because we all complain about heaps of things that go on in our lives. I am just glad that I am in one piece right now. It has been a trying year for many of reasons (if I went on and tried to explain them then I know I would stop midway because I'd probably pass out) I am also glad to have new friends and stay in touch with the old friends that I have. The many of relationships that one has with others could be a beautiful thing.

I know you didn't ask but I am good right now. Just chillin at my family's house and getting ready for Santa to come visit. Even though I did see him near the courthouse. I told him what's good and asked him if he could get me some money for Christmas. I know he has a money making machine lol. I'm not too fussed about getting much of anything for Christmas. I know that it isn't what it's about. It takes a couple of years of thinking and reading to figure out that this holiday is more than the presents wrapped up. I guess that it helps kids become motivated in celebrating a holiday.

Don't have much to say. I hope everyone is having a good day or night. And to those who celebrate Christmas, Have a Merry Christmas to others have a wonderful Holiday. I am going to go off and dance by myself in my room...

(Hey man, it eases the stress okay?!?)

Boo to Winter

2010-12-08T22:40:00.002-05:00

Well, say goodbye to the long days (that ended a while back) and the ability to go for a run with shorts on, or playing night soccer without thinking whether it is a good idea or not.

Winter is slowly approaching North Carolina and I am always not prepared for it at all. Especially when the weather changes from cold to hot regularly. I can walk outside one day with shorts but the next day I would immediately go back inside.

Plus, I would like to go outside for a run rather than go to a gym and have to deal with treadmills (which I hate running on). You say I should brave the elements and toughen up. I say shut up and you go run outside, then get sick, then complain that you are sick while I laugh in your face.

Mostly the reason why I am not prepared is that I don't really have the necessary winter gear to run outside. I don't have enough jackets, long sleeve shirts, gloves or beanies. So if my first choice of winter gear hasn't been washed then I either decide not to go do any physical activities or put on that dirty gear which isn't too much of a good look in my opinion.

Also I can't do the normal things that I usually do. I like going walking around downtown Raleigh during the day or just sit somewhere at a park and just stare into space for a little while. It isn't plausible to do those things when the highs are 40 degrees. I don't feel like shivering around at a park unnecessarily.

So I am going to slowly get use to this cold weather and staying indoors with the heater on and try to find new shows to watch or read a book. I think I need to read a book because I feel like I am getting dumber by the second...

"This is why I love playing this game."

2010-12-06T23:43:00.001-05:00

Whenever I play footy with my friends and most of the time I am marking Aaron since he is a forward and I’m a defender. He always says, “This is why I love playing this game.” Me and most of my friends have this in common. We can at any time just say, “hey do you want to play pick-up.” All of us get excited about this prospect of playing soccer that it only takes us five minutes to get out of the house to get onto the Hooker Turf Fields to play.

The great thing about playing soccer amongst friends is that you can cut loose and play the way how you want to. I am use to playing with structure and doing what I am told at all times. However when I get out there, I can play up top (even though I am not good at it) and I can do some crazy moves (that if they work, I claimed that I blacked out which happens often).

It does bring the urge for me to play again which I have been having second thoughts over. Especially with getting away from my job after I’m done with my hours. It is a great release to all the pent up frustration that comes with it. Even when I am pissed off at the world, I can find soccer as the escape I need unless we play pick-up with bozos then I would have a problem with that.

If I could find an island where there is a 120 yard pitch on it and a soccer ball, I would be content with life because I can play the game I love forever…..

I might need some lighting for some night soccer but that is a different story

"He put the team on his back though"

2010-12-06T22:49:00.002-05:00

Back to the grind, my birthday was good but now I am in reality again and it is kinda sad. However I found a video that makes me crack up every time I was it. This dude is playing Madden and he goes through a commentary of him scoring a touchdown. The commentary is priceless. "Dawg, he put the team on his back though." "Let's get into the mind of a Greg Jennings." Haha, I can't help but watch this movie every other hour to at least make me feel better inside. So I'm going to embed it into my page so you can enjoy it too.

Cherish the Day

2010-11-19T04:31:00.004-05:00

Sometimes I get caught up in trying to get you guys to learn something about me rather than just typing what I think. That is why I don't have as many posting as I should. I use to type what I think and asked questions later.

You don't have to learn anything far fetching in my posting. I just want you to know a little bit about me because if you are reading this than more likely you are my good friends unless you like my soccer posts and in that case this post isn't for you.

I sit here at 4:35am Friday morning getting ready for the last work day of this week and I contemplate about a lot of things. Then I listen to music and numb my mind about everything that is going on. I remember telling one of my co-workers that I don't like thinking too far in advance because when I do that I end up having a major headache

And another thing is that how do I know that I will make another day. I could just not wake up from my sleep or I swerve off the road and not be seen again. Don't get it twisted I wrote down what I want to do in my future but at the same time I don't get wrapped up in those things bc there is a good possible that I won't make it there...

I wonder all the time why I get along with people who are older than me. There are people I get along with in my age group but I can carry a great conversation with people who have more experience than me. I don't understand it but I can't say that I don't like talking to those people because they are much more interesting than those who are young and think they are interesting enough. I guess the next step is looking for a sugar mama for me :) *shrug* hahahaha

I try to say that my life doesn't suck. I'd rather say that I am in a funk with everything. There are people whose life do suck and I definitely don't belong in that category. I get frustrated when people say FML when they have a exam they didn't study for or didn't make it to work on a day bc there are people who really should say that. Like those who get foreclosed on their house. or those who are already out of their houses and asking for change from people. Or kids who are stuck with drugged out parents and they don't know what to do with their lives..

Don't mean to get depressing just saying that compared to others, you're life is good and you better cherish the day instead of worrying too much about tomorrow.

Cat and Mouse

2010-11-19T04:17:00.003-05:00

I am a spectator of these games of "cat and mouse" To be honest it isn't that I don't have the energy of being a "cat" in this game but it is more that I'd rather not be disappointed how I was in earlier posting (about two years ago or so). So now I try to watch and see how others play this game. Not so I can learn, just really for my enjoyment.

For some reason tonight, I got mad at one of the contestants. More because they were insistent of hanging out with one of the "mouses" and then didn't get any play and wanted me to sleep on the couch while the cat waits on the mouse to get home. So me being bull-headed and someone dumb decided that I am not going to be a pawn in this game. I left and now I am here.

Unfortunately I find someone that is now about a good 18 hours ahead of me and there isn't too much that I can do right now except for talk and hope and wish that I can see her someday (and she is no mouse in my opinion). Maybe? Hopefully? Until then I will watch you guys play this silly game of cat and mouse and I will laugh and at some occasions yell at you. HA HA HAAAA!!

I feel the picture is better than the whole posting in my opinion....

Insomniac's Hour

2010-11-15T01:54:00.003-05:00

Sitting up on my couch, looking at my computer screen.

"Let's see no one's on facebook. There is no one that really wants to talk on facebook anyways."

Watch a few episodes of InTreatment. That show really drains me out after watching each episode. I try to gain a better understanding of people's thoughts how the "shrink" in the show does. So after watching about two episodes. I get tired of it and watch the Food Network for a few hours until paid programming comes on. Have to make money somehow.

It is 4am. I decide to bring my computer into the living room to connect to my xbox and play FIFA for the next few hours. Get on Xbox Live, talk unnecessary trash to people, and get angry when I miss a shot or get scored on. So I stop playing on the Internet, put my earphones on, listening to music and play on my career mode.

By the time I look at the clock, it is 6am. It is still dark outside but I decide to go on one of those runs where I think about my current happenings or lack there of. Run for about a hour or so. Shower, shave, then watch tv until I have to pick up the mail and start my work day.

This has been going on for a couple of days. I thought maybe I should drink a few beers so I would pass out but I decided against that don't want to become an alcoholic or anything. So I just stay up. I don't know what is going on with me lately. The last time I haven't really slept that much was in college but I had real stresses like studying for school and soccer. Now I just have work which doesn't stress me out and the imaginary stresses of being lonely and not having someone to talk to.

My mind has been wandering lately. Maybe I have been thinking of the wrong things. Thinking about myself is what I should be doing. Everybody else can wait just for a little bit until I figure myself out. Hopefully it will happen, nothing is impossible...

Slowing Slipping back to Oblivion

2010-11-13T06:00:00.000-05:00

I cannot point a finger to it. There are days where I am around all these people but I am still alone. My world has gotten smaller and smaller through time. I look at people through their different viewpoints and try to understand but I seem to come to the same conclusion about them (That conclusion I will speak about at a different date).

I was trying to hang out with my roommate and some of his friends in Raleigh last night (Friday) and I was already apprehensive about going out with them as is because we hardly have anything in common. So I decided to give it about thirty minutes before I leave. I get there and they all disappear their own ways and I just look around the bar and say this is no fun. Grabbed a soda to drink and within the next 15 minutes I drove home and played fifa for the rest of the night.

Usually I would say that it is effed up how people would ditch somebody but I can't blame them. They have their own agendas for their night like everybody else. Being angry at them really wouldn't serve me any purpose because I knew exactly what I was getting into. It is the same every other night I hang out with people. I know what I am going to get. I can pretty much tell you to a tee how the night is going to end up. Usually it ends up with me in a dark room alone trying to figure out why I put myself through most of this.

I would not say this is anything new of me. Usually if I am hanging out at a place like this I try to make my own fun out of the whole deal. Maybe find people to talk to or something like that. However this night I just didn't feel up to it. Laying on a couch staring at a TV screen seem more fun to me then staying out until two thinking that I am going to have fun.

I have been use to going out and thinking that night will be fun. I have all these thoughts about how the night is going to end up and usually end up being disappointed by it all and feel like it was a waste of time. When I stay at home, I can't really disappoint myself too much. Watch TV, play video games, surf the web, etc.. there is not too much you can be disappointed with. Maybe having the feeling on a dork for staying in on a Friday night by yourself but I am not going to let that stop me from doing what I want to do.

Slipping back Oblivion: I use to be real quiet, never hung out with anybody, and just really disappeared from people's thoughts for the longest time. The thing is that my feelings were never really hurt in the process of any of those things. Yeah people talk behind my back and all but I mean how am I going to ever know? People don't say anything to my face. So I am thinking why not try it? Slip back to the cave that I use to live in for so long. Resist the urge of going out and making a fool of myself like I seem to do lately. Think of ways how to make my life better for myself. I need to be a bit more selfish than I am. I only have so much time to live on this world before it is all gone...

Then what? I'll forever slip into oblivion. Then again I really don't mind the silence as it is anyway...

P.S: No, this isn't a drunken post. I just woke up to a message from a friend who typed how they felt at the time so that served as inspiration to type how I am feeling.

Deuce Freestyles

2010-11-01T22:46:00.003-04:00

To represent his two goal game for Fulham against Wigan Athletic. I am going to show an interview of Clint Dempsey aka Deuce (I know it is three years old. He is going to show his flow on a freestyle. You didn't know soccer players can rap like this. I got a friend named "Lil Bobby" that can flow himself. He should get a record deal for sure.

Already I am going off the point. I am glad Clint has been representing the United States well during the last couple of months. Even though they have changed managers and players have come and gone. However Deuce has remained one of the consistent players for his club and he is a hard worker for his country also. So big ups to him and I'll leave this to you.

NBA is back!

2010-10-26T18:27:00.003-04:00

The NBA Basketball season is starting tonight. The highly anticipated Big 3 of Miami will open up the season against the Reigning Eastern Conference Champion Boston Celitcs.

I am one of the few that actually like NBA basketball. I don't mind that they play more offense than defense. I mean we complain about how there isn't much scoring in soccer or baseball. Then when "The League" hardly plays much defense we complain about no defense. Can't have it both ways.

I'm not going to go into how Lebron tarnished his legacy or whatever. I feel that it is irrelevant. I thought it was about winning championships anyhow. I wouldn't listen to anything Charles Barkley says because he has won the same amount of NBA Championships that I have. A big donut, don't say donut around Charles though.

Kevin Durant should have a MVP type season this year. I am more of a fan of players who can shoot out of the gym rather than jump out of it. That is why I like players like KD, Melo or even a Brandon Roy rather than Lebron or Dwight Howard. I love to watch dunks too though.

Who is going to win the title. I don't know I think the Magic will make more a run at all. I feel they can give the Heat a run. The Celtics will probably get older towards the end of the season and the Lakers will make it out of the West and will probably win another title and Kobe will cheese with his six rings and make fun of Shaq some more.

While people having been talking about "The Decision" and others wanting to leave Denver and New Orleans (Melo and CP3 respectively), all Kevin Durant has been doing is hooping all summer. Here is a lil highlight film of him in a Summer League in DC:

Dollar Dollar Bill Ya'll!! or the English equivalent Pound Pound Bill Ya'll

2010-10-22T10:30:00.004-04:00

Congratulations to Wayne Rooney for signing a five-year extension to stay at Old Trafford.

That might be the only nice thing I say about him during the rest of this post.

I am quite disappointed in the way Rooney went about getting this deal. Especially due to him being steady fast that he didn't want a new contract because there weren't enough "star quality" players. If that is the case, what changed between now and two months ago? (when it first surfaced that he might not stay) or about a couple of days ago when he said that he wasn't going to sign a contract and definitely leaving?

He can tell people what he want but unless you are stupid and live under a rock then you know that this deal was all about the money. You don't change your mind just like that. Understood, Rooney respects the patch and has loyalty to it, however they are ways to go around it. There is no way he believes it was about getting quality players. He still doesn't have that guarantee even after he signs the contract.

I think Sir Alex and David Gill knew what most of us didn't. Especially when they said yesterday that they were going to take care of this soon. They knew that they could make a deal with him, it was all about how many hundred thousand pounds a week he would get. So that is where my disappointment lies. It is about the hypocrisy of it all.

He could have went about it a better way to at least not make him a flip-flopper. He could have easily said:

"For some undisclosed reasons, I decided to not sign the deal they gave to me, We will keep in contact but for the time-being I am going to stay here until my current contract runs out."

Then I would not blame him in the next couple of days signing a new contract but the way it happened seems all wrong. I would have rather him said that I outplayed my current deal and I want more money. He would seem like a mercenary but I could respect that more than throwing his players under the bus.

How can he command respect in his locker room when he basically says that the current United players are shit? Because that is what he said without calling them shit. Wazza feels that City and Chelsea have better quality players than United in "his opinion" so if I was a player in that locker room I would not trust anything that Rooney has to say until he re-proves his loyalty.

I don't mind him staying a United player and I hope all the best to him but for those who come after. Just say you want the money...

Fergie vs Rooney

2010-10-19T17:30:00.008-04:00

Manchester United and Sir Alex Ferguson are in a certain dilemma right now. Alex confirmed tonight that Rooney is not going to sign an extension and could potentially leave as early as the end of the season due to a FIFA loophole saying that he can buy out the last year of his contract only for 5 mil.

Am I surprised?
Not really, the current history tells you that most of the stars that leave Manchester United leave with some sort of discontent for Sir Alex during the end of the runs at Old Trafford. The exceptions to the rule are Paul Scholes and Ryan Giggs (I'm not going to put Gary Neville on this list.). What is exactly happening here to have players like Ince, Stam, Keane, van Nistlerooy, Tevez, CR7, Beckham, and possibly Rooney to leave?

In every case there has been some sort of disagree between player and manager that Alex often is the one that takes offense of and it ends up being that the player leaves the club. My opinion Sir Alex wants people that listen to everything he says and don't question his authority. Think about the two players that lasted the longest. They have taken less workloads by playing every other game (if there are Champions League midweek games involved). Giggs has taken a more central role for the club. Scholes retired from the English national team to focus on club football. Do you think that Fergie didn't have any involvement in his decision?

These players feel some sort of invincibility. They think that once I leave the club will crumble. However these players have left within the 15 years and there is still one constant, the manager. He can scout for the next Jaap Stam (Vidic) or Cristiano Ronaldo (Nani) and possibly a Rooney (Hernandez, you thought I was going to say Bebe didn't you). Players will always want to play for Manchester United and if that is the case they won't falter any unless they miss the Champions League.

The Rooney Situation
Let's discuss Rooney's situation, the Red Devils will say that this has something to do with money. Rooney's discontent could be because he wasn't consulted about why he was taken out of key games. If there was any discussion between him and the managing staff about them wanting to protect their player, he still wouldn't be too happy but he would understand what is going on.

When Rooney hears from the media that he is injured especially when he wants to play every game he can, of course he is going to feel some sort of anger. "Supporters" or "fans" of Manchester United say that Rooney isn't loyal to the cause. I think he was loyal to it until about a month or two ago when he begun to miss key games in the beginning of the season. The club didn't show their faith to one of their important players. Remember he was never an early season goal-scorer, he would produce when they needed it the most. However when he isn't in the game, then how is he suppose to produce?

I am a professed Sir Alex hater plus I am a footballer myself so I will always take the players side unless they are found out that they are wrong beyond doubt. I will take Rooney's side because at least in a couple performances especially the Switzerland match for England, he played well and scored a goal. Then in his next match with Manchester United, he was left out of the line-up to be protected from the abuse he would receive at Goodison Park against Everton, his former club. A player cannot get his top form back if he is playing sporadically.

Then again, he might have had an ankle injury. If he did then why did Wayne play against Montenegro and claimed that he wasn't injured at all. Obviously we aren't being told the whole story about this saga. However it looks like it has the same end as the rest of those disgruntled superstars. He won't be wearing the Red Devils patch next year.

The difference in this situation than the others (except for CR7) is that the other players were going to the other side of their careers. Rooney is only 25 years of age and he hasn't hit the prime of his career. If Fergie allows him to leave for cheap and more than likely for another English club, it will probably be the mistake that buries his career. I don't think he wants to be the manager that let one of the best English players in this generation go to another English club.

What will happen?
Only time will tell, I think he will last the season but Ferguson is angry about another superstar thinking he is bigger than the team. So he will most likely leave and where he goes will depend on how personal the rest of this year gets. If the relationship deteriorates more, do not be surprised if he goes across town to Manchester City as a replacement for Tevez who doesn't like the way he is being used by Mancini. Rooney won't be as frustrated with the lone striker role as Tevez because he has worked that role many times at United and he is at his best when he makes something out of nothing.

This could still end well for United fans, they aren't even half-way done with the season yet and they are in all competitions right now. So Rooney will be needed in this clutch run. What they don't need is supporters whistling him because it will cutting their noses to spite their face. The season will end disastrously if they do so.

I say that Rooney is more than likely leaving but my predictions often bite me in the backside. There is a long time between now and June for him to make his final decision and he could have a change of heart. We will see soon...

Hello World Wave

2010-10-17T19:42:00.004-04:00

Hello World,

I just wanted to update everyone on my life. I've been working like a dog lately Basically working 36 to 40 hour weeks instead of my 28 to 30 hours. Which I won't complain too much because it is going to be more money in my pocket. Plus the longer hours will make sure that I get money for the mileage expenses. So my next expenses check (whenever that will be) will be pretty big.

After three months in the job it has gotten easier and easier. I am doing more things with ease and not making the mistakes that I made earlier on. And helping some of our new couriers with training, I am feeling important hehehe.

It was one of my boys birthday yesterday. I got back from home at around 8pm to help him celebrate. It was tight we had a good time. Poppin bottles and watching the hood-rats dance away at the library. As you can tell it was "Hoodrat Saturday" as we proclaimed it because the hood rats were out at full force. We didn't care because we had our own special section that we enjoyed ourselves with. We had to leave because for 1) we ran out of champagne and 2) Hoodrats were fighting among each other lol.

Other than that, nothing else is happening. Needed to go to Greenville for a little bit on Friday and Saturday. Saw some friends that I haven't seen in a long while. It was nice and I got to go on my first tailgating experience. First off, we started at 9am and we begun to drink real early in the morning. Yeah, it was crazy stuff going on. People are mighty bold while tailgating amongst each other. A State fan started talking shit to a whole bunch of Pirate fans. I know that almost every time I use to go out in Greenville, there is always a fight so you can think if an outside comes in your territory and talks shit, what do you think is going to happen? Well that dude got his ass whooped. It wasn't pretty at all. I gotta say that he deserved what was coming.

"You cannot go to a club and tell everybody f*ck everybody in the club and just walk out the club, Alright try it, 'F*CK EVERYBODY IN THE CLUB.' wait for it wait for it *gets knocked out.* I tried to tell you."
- Katt Williams

That is it from me. I am going to try to do more posting and hoping that my ADD doesn't get the best of me while I am doing it. I hope everyone has a great week and enjoy every day that you have. Try not to let things get the best of you, you are stronger than that...

Stress Kills, So Don't Do It.

2010-10-10T19:35:00.003-04:00

Days go by and weeks go by. People stress out over the little things and don't think everything is going to get better. People say that they can't handle everything that is going on in their lives. I must admit I use to think the same way. Say everything is horrible in my life and I need to change. However I don't need to change more likely I need to adapt to the surroundings. Whenever I feel like I put myself in some sort of "trouble" I try to work hard to make sure that I can get out of it.

I treat every day the same. I work, I eat and I play. I don't know what else is going to happen. I try to keep myself out of nonsense. Hopefully I don't get into any real trouble that causes my life to change route completely. However getting bent out of shape over the little stuff isn't worth the trouble, the stress, and the quality of life that you want for yourself.

I am thinking of a plan. My head keeps on running until I am content with how my life is going. Right now, I am in the inbetween stage. I have a job that isn't too bad but I know it isn't a long-term fix. But I am not going to kill myself over not getting something full-time work, I know that I can find something so I am going to keep looking until I find the right thing.

I've stressed myself out of sort during the first part of this year. I really want to do over that part of the year because I was beginning to enjoy football again and loving playing for my team in New Zealand but things that were partially out of my control (my expiring visa) put me in all kinds of mess and no money to support myself. So I left, I don't regret leaving but I do wish that I could have ended the season with the team.

Now I am happy. I got good friends, an okay job (for now) and I cannot complain about anything. However I want improvement to my life. I don't need to be a millionaire but I would like to be more comfortable with my life situation because I know everything is still influx. The plan is still up in the air. All I know is that I am not going to try to stress myself out to the max then I wouldn't make it to the next day....

Thinking wit the earphones

2010-10-04T23:19:00.003-04:00

I've been on my R&B tip lately. And normally I would do this nonsense on facebook but i guess I should just put my thoughts in song for the time being. Oh well what is going to hurt anything right?

"Oh, oh, girl cut off the TV
Oh, oh, get the room ready for me
Pull the shades down
Turn the lights low (lights low)
I'ma get the oil and the towel (towel)
I'm so close (so close)
Almost (almost)
About to turn the corner
Down on Burrough (Burrough)
Whoa, fact I'm in the driveway now"

"It's going down
I want your body in my arms right now"

"Like the first fall of snow
Rainy days with you to hold
Bare feet on the beach
Skinny dippin you and me
Don't matter if it's cold
I got you to keep me warm
You make me feel just like a child
I just wanna make you smile"

"We're just sitting on the dock of the bay
Watching the past go by
With the resilen under your skirt
Give you my jacket and hold you close ooohh"

"Just curled her hair though she know that I'ma mess it up
But she don't care 'cause she been wantin' me to sex her up
And when we finished, she can pin it up"

"For the sake of our love
I'll promise I'm a be willing
Go extra just to show you I'm willing
For the sake of our love
I need to know that you care 'bout us
So baby tell me that you willing, to do the same
I just wanna be sure that we both want the same love
Cause there is nothing I won't do for the sake of love, our love"

Masch, Barca too much for ya?

2010-09-22T14:38:00.005-04:00

It makes me smile to see someone who quits on their team get on another team and prove to be a liability with that club. I am talking about Javier Mascherano who forced himself out of Liverpool where he was one of their better players now he is in Barcelona and is struggling to adapt to their style of play.

Newspapers in Spain are already calling for Pep Guardiola to recall Sergio Busquets in the place of Masch. It might take some time to adapt to a new League and a team who is known for their passing skills. However I won't give Mascherano a pass this time. The way he left Liverpool even had me feeling dirty and I am not even a Liverpool fan.

Barca should have known what they were getting with this player. He is in term a holding midfielder but he isn't the greatest in holding the ball up. He tackles, bull-rushes, and hardly strays forward. The way Barca apply pressure on teams he isn't needed to begin with. They are usually able to win the ball early and begin their attack through Messi and David Villa. Masch usually wins possession away from his opponents (it isn't a bad thing) Barcelona have 11 magicians on the pitch and Mascherano is no magician. Busquets was quite adequate in his play. He can pass, tackle, and if needs to get forward he can do that too

Maybe Mascherano will get his act together and show what he is worth or maybe he will get dumped at the end of this season. Then he could have his reunion with Rafa Benitez in Inter Milan that he wanted for a while. In my opinion, I hope he continues to ride pine for Barca and watch them play the beautiful game on the sidelines.

What I can learn

2010-09-22T14:14:00.004-04:00

I never knew that I could learn much of anything from my blog. I just try to ramble from the top of my dome and just make fun of whomever. People, things, even myself are in the firing line of the "ghostwriter". Looking back at recent postings, I think that there is much to learn from some of them at least. Well the most recent one probably should tell you that you shouldn't be dumb enough to drink and drive.

Another one warns people against Windows 7. I've gotten a couple of letters from Bill Gates telling me not to talk about my problems with the system anymore. (I kid).

Then I read all the personal posting that I've written at this time. I am learning to understand myself better. I would think by now that I would be able to understand myself but re-reading the postings that I have written about myself, I have seen a bit of growth from being insecure to being more sure of myself even though much of the outside world hasn't change.

Overall I do write my blogs for the entertainment of others. Whether they are making fun of people, talking about my favorite subjects, or plain making fun of myself, I enjoy having someone reading my blog and saying, "Wow, that makes sense to me" or "This guy has problems." Either or I still love it...

Just Plain Stupid

2010-09-22T01:56:00.003-04:00

When the organization offers people to drive you if you are in fact intoxicated, if you were actually a smart human being then you would take it right. Apparently we have have some half-tards on the New York Jets who didn't get the point. If you don't watch ESPN (which I do religiously) then you probably wouldn't know that Braylon Edwards was charged for DWI on early Tuesday morning. His blood alcohol level was about at a 1.6.

First question is: 1) What are you doing drinking that much on a Monday night when you have practice the next day?

2) What are you doing drinking on a Monday night anyways, who does that?

This man has been use to making these mistakes. He got in trouble with his old organization, the Cleveland Browns and he got into a fight at a club with one of LeBron's people. Now he is driving drunk around the streets of NYC.

I don't understand these pro athletes. Maybe they want to be cheap and not spend money but if I had that much money and I would want to go out on the town on a particular night, I would mostly definitely hire a driver or just pay the taxi fare. I mean what is about $50 to $100 dollars to a player? I understand you got to pop bottles (where's Yung Joc at) but someone needs to understand that driving their car isn't right idea.

There were two other Jet players in the Range Rover with him and they were both lineman. I think that one of them could have taken Braylon's keys and told him that we are taking a cab home. "Whatcha doin, where you going, Whatcha doin where you going."- Kevin Hart

I don't chalk this up to a character flaw because NFL players should know better than think that they are above the law. However here is the thing that these players don't understand (even though I am sure they are told this over and over) that they are more targeted than the average person.

Than again, I will just say that he is plain stupid and the mistakes he makes won't end here.

This makes a bit more sense. Yeah?

2010-09-13T23:23:00.002-04:00

The last blog post didn't make much sense (much sense at all actually). Those have been my thoughts lately. They have been shifting from back to forth. Trying to piece together why some people like me and enjoy being my friends and others act like they do but don't.

I want to make everything out to be okay. And think of everything in the upside, however when someone spends countless hours putting files in boxes and calculating number after number, then going home to drown myself in tv, music, internet, and social networking to see how other people's lives are doing because they seem more interesting than me.

I am self-conscious and self-aware of everything in my surroundings. People think that I don't get the hint. However I do get the hint, I get the hint that some people don't want to talk to me, that is perfectly fine. I just like messing with people and for that split second have a thought whether it is a bad one or not. "Gah, why doesn't he go away?" Here is an idea.. Why don't you delete me? That is a much better idea then asking the other question.

It's cool, we all live in this bubble that think that we belong to something in this world and we do. Some of us are cool, hip, get along with everyone, life of the party and are great people. Others are emo kids, who pierce their ears, wear glasses even though they don't need them, balls-tight jeans, and listen to rock. And then there is me. That is right I have my own class because no one can define me as anything, people have their own definitions but only a few privileged know me and more than likely no one will have that conversation about me because I am just a fly on the wall, enjoying my life the only way I know how...

Bunch of Run-On Sentences. How I like it

2010-09-13T22:40:00.003-04:00

Not depressed or the least bit sad.
Not angry at anyone for ignoring me
Not mad when people make fun of me
Not going to change the way I act for people
Not carefully planning anything

I am just being me. Keeping with the status quo. I've been walk better in the shadows rather than in the spotlight. I work hard to just keep myself as grounded as I possibly can. People can tell me to change and act differently but that isn't me. I've tried that whole nonsense and it doesn't work for me and it angers me more than it should.

Conscious. Carefree. Calm.

Being forceful doesn't work. You can't force anyone to accept you. People will like or dislike you whether you act one way or the other. So if you can't accept me for who I am. *Shrug* Sorry, this person isn't going away. You can just ignore me like the rest and get on with your business because from what I've learned, people will have a set opinion when they first meet you anyways. If others look the other way, then it doesn't make sense to waste anyone's time.

I felt like just typing because I wanted to. Thoughts have been in a minimum, I have been drowning myself with music and work. I have learned that if you keep on reaching out with an open hand and no one reaches back then they don't want to be helped. Or maybe they don't want to be helped out by you, if that is the case, please don't broadcast over the internet. People that actually want to help (me) are trying and you just leave me hanging. People like that just make me colder and colder inside. So you can blame them.

I am going back into the shadows. This post wasn't meant to make sense. It was a bunch a babble that I felt like spilling. I won't link it or anything, I am just going to cruise. Not going to say holla at me later because why should I expect that from you...

My War Against Windows 7

2010-09-01T08:24:00.002-04:00

Before I take a shower and head to work, I have to fire a warning shot against my current Operating System, Windows 7. If you have read many other post of mine (from a couple of years ago), I am use to starting imaginary wars against people and things that I feel warrant it. Now here's another one.

I don't know what you are thinking about W7. I mean I thought you were suppose to be this cool and hip new OS that would definitely replace Windows Vista. I know Vista had its problems with people. Mostly those that run businesses and do many other things that Vista is suppose to happen. However I haven't had a problem where as a Windows Update causes my whole computer to go hay-wire. This has been done numerous times already and I didn't know what the cause of it except for the common factor of me downloading "Security for Windows 7" that causes my files to get infected.

This is the third time that it is happened and I fear sooner or later I am going to lose everything from my computer so I am going to decide that I will fire my first shot at you guys before you get any unsuspecting others who think they've done something wrong. No, you haven't (well maybe some of you have), it is just your PC.

"Hey, I am a PC. And Windows 7 was my idea." Alright if it is your idea then don't mind when I come over your house with a baseball bat and try to hit a home run with your head...

James Milner Doesn't Fit In

2010-08-18T10:46:00.003-04:00

(Digging for Gold, Aye? Don't worry Man City will give you enough cash)

The England international is a talented player and I can't blame anyone for wanting to buy this player however I looked at Manchester City's lineup on Saturday and thought about any other places that he could be place and I just do not see him getting many games. The midfield and forward line is all but crowded. The only way you could play him is if you play a 4-5-1 and Milner in a wide-role or an attacking midfield role. Who are you going to take out?

Okay if you decide to play him centrally. Then you'll have to take out either Yaya Toure or Nigel De Jong because they do the exact same thing. Or if you wanted to keep both of the field, you'd have to slot Gareth Barry in the left back role. He could do that in emergency circumstances but I doubt that he would love to make that a permanent role.

Milner could be a creative force that is needed in that central midfield spot. When you have hard workers as Toure and De Jong, you'll need that player who can express their creativity. I think on that part Milner could potentially be better than Barry. But you can't have all four in the midfield. I mean you could but if you played that midfield in a 4-4-2 formation I highly doubt that it would work. There needs to be some creativity down the middle.

Plus, if you would play a 4-4-2 then you would leave one of the following out of the lineup. David Silva, Adam Johnson, Shawn Wright-Phillips, Mario Balotelli, or Emanuel Adebayor, and I forgot Robinho. As a manager, you cannot leave that kind of talent on the bench especially when it comes to flair and creativity. Two or three of these guys (with Tevez) could lead Manchester City to the Premier League title. I don't think Milner could do that for you. He is a decent player but I don't think he'll make a splash. He just be one of the squad players in my opinion and within a year, he'll be asking to go to Manchester United or Arsenal (where he could actually be used).

And like I said in the post before in order to have success, you have to be able to maintain the egos in your club. You have to coddle to some of their needs. I don't know about Milner's but some of the players above (Balotelli, Ade, and Robinho) will need that coddling and that'll cost Milner some game-time. Love it or hate it, it's still how this game works.

You cannot play him out-wide in a 4-5-1 or a 4-3-3 for those players above. The only player he might be better than is SWP if anyone on that list but I wouldn't trade a David Silva, Adam Johnson, or Mario Balotelli for him. I think I would take my chances on them. So where does that leave him? Pretty much out to dry. Of course he'll get his chances to show his worth and I don't mind if he proves me wrong because I am not blaming him for making his decision, I am more on the head-scratching side of why Manchester City decided that they needed this player. I think they were perfectly fine after getting the likes of Yaya Toure, Jerome Boateng, and David Silva. Any other team would love that type of summer transfer season but not Manchester City. They want to creative their own FIFA 11 soccer team that could potentially alienate players on the team and no team needs that in the rough and tough Premier League...

All He Needs is a Father

2010-08-17T19:45:00.004-04:00

It is official. "Super" Mario Balotelli has taken his talents to Eastlands and joined the big-spending Manchester City club. Everyone has taken their shots at the young man. He has been a thorn to almost everyone's side ever since he came into the senior side for Inter Milan. However are these shots taken at the 20 year old unwarranted? We know of his antics but let me ask you something, was he this bad while he was with his current manager Roberto Mancini at Inter? I don't know maybe you can shed some light on that.

I think that this kid needs to be loved by others. While he was with the Special One, the Special One takes an impersonal approach towards his players. If you aren't performing to his level, he will sit you immediately. You won't get many chances and he will also try to "inspire" players by calling out players in the media.

Young players usually take two approaches to this:

1) Let this humble you and realize that you need to do the work in order to get the results.

0r

2) If the young player is brass enough, he'll shut down on his manager and his team when he feels like he's been done wrong. And start spouting off to media himself.

We can guess what approach Balotelli took to this.

Mario Balotelli needs a fatherly hand on his shoulder. Jose Mourinho didn't give that to him. He berated him and berated him until Balotelli ignored him altogether like that little kid who ignores his parents for a couple of days expecting them to coddle him and say that everything is going to be alright and he's special. When Balo didn't get that from Jose and his "brothers' were ignoring Balo too, Super Mario decided to throw his toys on the ground and said that he didn't want to play with them anymore. It isn't right and he could have done everything different but you remember as a kid trying to get your parent's attention by doing bad things and when the parents ignored him, you just kept on doing bad things until either you realized you're in the wrong or you get yourself in serious trouble. Or that daughter who wants attention from their parents and then end up being a stripper.

For obvious reasons, that boy doesn't need to be a stripper but he does need a fresh start and a "father" who would truly understand him and will coddle to the needs of the young prodigy.

I believe that Roberto Mancini is the right manager for him because he knows the kid and has grown up with him. So he knows the right buttons to push, he can berate him in one instance but tell him that he loves him and he's done a good job. That is what Balotelli needs, he needs a balance that he hasn't had in a long time. Of course people need constructive criticism but when they've done well, they need to be told they've done well.

It seems soft I know but you have to coddle egotistical emotions because they are humans and they need to feel the love like everyone else. Balotelli throughout all his stupid decisions is one of the most talented youngsters out there. He can reach that potential to be one of the greats but he needs that father figure that will put him in check but at the same time see his worth...

My Last Couple of Weeks

2010-08-15T21:26:00.004-04:00

Had our first adult league game yesterday. It was quite interesting to say the least. I can't help but say that I kind of missed the Three Kings atmosphere. Back in NZ, even though some did trash talk, it was always in good nature. Also when tackles were made there, you had a good idea which was a rash tackle and which was a good clean tackle that might have just been mis-timed you know. Plus I hate the constant complaining, everyone has an excuse for anything. Just play the game, I love this game too much to complain about the little shit.

Well anyways, for me not playing a 11-aside game for the first time in forever, it was okay. I tried to avoid making desperate tackles of any kind. I'd rather wanted to just intercept and distribute. Plus, I wanted to make an attempt at putting myself in the perfect position so I didn't have to run as much as I usually do. I am pretty fit and lasted the 90 minutes but you know that you still would want to decrease your running if you could. We won the game 5-2. A very comfortable win, I really wanted to make runs but everyone else was making runs that I was left 3 v1 in the back by myself. Sweet right hahaha. Other than that the game was good to me. Sloppy with my clearances at times but other than that, it was a good shift of footy.

Nothing else to note of from me. I've been working and hanging out with my people. I am not going to talk about any type of work drama because there isn't any and I don't think I can for-see any. I just try to get on with my business without trying to cause problems. It makes the days go by faster instead of looking at the clock wondering when I am going to be off. It is tedious but I am getting use to it one day at a time.

Not going into the personal realm with this posting because it is just about the daily goings of my life. I am definitely not complaining things going on (I don't know how many times I've said that already). I do a lot of complaining about not finding any suitable ladies but I know that life is good enough as is and I'll find someone in time. Okay I said that I am not going to say too much and I am doing it right now. So I might as well stop before I really get started...

Still a Supporter

2010-08-10T22:50:00.004-04:00

My loyalty to the Spanish Side Valencia CF has been tested in the last couple of years. With first not being able to pay their players on time, them getting into debt due to a proposed new Stadium being built and obvious the constant speculations of David Villa and David Silva leaving the side for greener pastures.

The day that I haven't been looking forward to has happened. Villa went to Barcelona and David Silva took his talents to Manchester. I told myself time after time that I would revoke my supporters card (I don't really have one) but I think that I am going to stand pat on this one. We obviously haven't bought the players with the same caliber as Villa and Silva but we have some experienced players on our side with the addition of a few talented up-comers that will make for an interesting season.

We still have Mata, Pablo, and Ever Banega among others. Also signings of Roberto Soldado, Tino Costa, Sofiane Feghouli, and Mehmet Topal to at least fill in some of the gaps that were lost. I am intrigue with these group of players and how they will adapt to each others styles of play

I have faith in all these players and I believe that our side will be very good over time. Now I don't think we are Spanish La Liga Champions. Barcelona and Real Madrid are a far ways away from us at this point in time but I am sure we are going to shock some people. I can't wait for the Champions League, especially with us not having to go through the preliminary stages. We will give every team everything we've got.

A year ago, I would have probably given up on Unai Emery's side and said, I am going to jump on one of these bandwagons but whatever happens this year, I am going to stand by this team in their endeavors. I cannot wait for this season to start. It is Christmas all over again.

Hopefully my words don't bite the team in their asses....

A lil Exercise of free-write

2010-08-10T02:21:00.003-04:00

I usually have some motivating force for my blogs. Like what I am feeling at the time or what is going on in the world. For one, I am not having much of a feeling for anything at this point in time. I'm not depressed nor happy. I'm pretty neutral at this point in time. Plus I always get shit from these fools saying, "Wah, why you say what you feel? You are suppose to be harder than that." Often these people are alone and more insecure with their lives than I am.

Also I don't really feel like talking about what's going on in the world because:

a) I am not a political blogger so there ain't no need for me to talk about an oil spill or anything like that.

b) I don't think anyone's much interested in me talking about soccer all the time. I know a wee little bit but I doubt that many people want to hear my views

(Although, it is laughable that I have many people read my blog anyways)

So I continue to tread through this wave of life. There could be potential avenues that I could explore but then again I have to motivate myself to do the things that I want to do. I can do that though. I like the feeling of setting my mind on something and actually getting it done. It is probably one of the most satisfying things ever.

When I say that I want to make it through life, I am not saying that I want to just scrap through with the bare minimum. I say it because I want to enjoy life with the people that I love whether they are far or away. I've read about those who are the most successful (money-wise) and they aren't happy at all leading them to commit suicide or other random depressing acts. I'd rather not be in that category. You see I have a pretty good group of friends around me. So I shouldn't worry about that aspect of my life now just being happy about what I am doing, that is what I should accomplish with the remaining part of my time here.

I always complain about why I don't have more friends but I'm beginning to slowly realize that I don't need more. I want those people that I'd rather get to know better to hear me all and when it doesn't happen I often get irritated and think about what I've done wrong. However some people don't want to have anything to do with it. They have their group and they'll be stubborn in their ways and I should respect their feelings and actions. I'll get down the art of ignoring those that want to be ignored and I'll take the hint sooner or later.

So whenever my time is up on this world, whether it is 50 to 75 years from nor or it is tomorrow. I am going to keep the smile on my face, enjoy the company of friends and family, and I'm going to live one day at a time...

Forgive Me

2010-07-28T17:56:00.003-04:00

I have run out of thoughts. I usually just work and head back home and do nothing. Okay, I might get out on the pitch for a few hours but other than that the brain has been just completely void of thought.

Hopefully while I am in work or lounging around the house, I can get some complete thoughts instead of going half-way in my blog posting. You don't know how many drafts I have now because I couldn't complete the post so I would just abandon the posting altogether.

So right now, If I go on a two or three week break without anything. I am just putting pen to pad on my thoughts and will hopefully get some decent material together because I am going to admit my last couple of posting has been poor at best. At the same time, I might be able to round something up by Friday or something. You never know, but hopefully my brain doesn't turn into that. That would definitely suck...

I am not 19

2010-07-22T07:17:00.003-04:00

Do I really look like I am 20? Am I really going to look like 19 or 20 for the rest of my life? I mean yeah I kind of have to keep my face clean due to my line of work dealing with lawyers and their paralegals all day. (I do not complain about my job) However I would love to not shave my scrubby beard and see how old I would look then.

I'd probably would just be a 19 year old who is trying to grow some hair on his face. "Isn't that cute" I mean most of us do not want to grow up, we'd like to stay the young for as long as we can. Well since I can't change the hands of time, I would like to just be my age and gain more experience through growing older. I don't have a preference as of now what I would like to do with my life but I am sure to find something that suits me just fine.

This cashier was messing with my ID to see if it was real or not. I am just looking at him and being like: "come on, I know you are trying to use standard procedure but do I really look too young to get an beer? Either let me go and buy what I need to or give me my ID back because I am not suppose to drive without it." I guess he has had trouble in the past and just wants to make sure. That is what it sounded like he said, I could not understand a word that man was saying.

Another thing about people saying that I am younger than I really am is that it is mostly people that are younger than me telling me this. I am like, "I can be your elementary school teacher." It is whatever though, when a 24 year old woman is thinking that she can take advantage of a "20 year old boy" she ain't going to realize that I am 24 til it's too late. Ha! I've played that scenario in my head. It hasn't happened yet but it is always nice to have a mental picture.

Why don't I want to be younger than I am? I don't want to think about the times that I was 19 and 20. And think about what I should have or could have changed to maybe make my life different to what it is now. It is over and I shouldn't be reminiscing over times that are long gone and very forgettable. I continue to try to look forward and forget the mistakes I have made during those times. Obviously not trying to make the same ones but at the same time, it is a time that I don't really want to bring up again in my head. I rather worry about what is going to happen to me when I am 27, 28, or 29 rather than what happened when I was 18, 19, or 20. I think I am done with those late teen times and maybe when I get older I would want them back, but right now I think I am comfortable being 24 thank you...

Home is where the Heart Is.

2010-07-13T12:22:00.003-04:00

It seems that Ronaldinho seems to be heading home. He has verbally accepted a contract offer from Flamengo. And even if AC Milan cannot agree to terms in the summer, he can leave in the winter for free. It's only been a couple of years ago when he was the best player of the planet.

Even though he has gotten his game back on track, he is intent on heading back home to the Sunny Skies of Brazil. I cannot blame him too much. He has done everything there is to do in the game. It is obvious that he just wants to live out the rest of his career at home and if so good on him.

Many critics often say that you have to be in Europe to succeed and make mega-bucks. He's done that and more during his time in France, Spain, and Italy. It will be a pretty good close out to his career to end it at his home. And just enjoy the life he wants to live. He loves the game, but he also likes to party, and have a good time which we shouldn't blame him too much for. Yes, you can call it unprofessional as a footballer but it isn't like he's gotten into any trouble over it. It will be a good closer to a fabulous career.

We do know that every where he goes, Ronaldinho does know how to throw a party...

New Design for Now

2010-07-13T11:44:00.002-04:00

I know you are use to the old design that I've had for going on three years. I had to change it up a bit finally. Obviously I wish I could master the art of making an unique template for my blog. However this will have to do for now.

I don't mind this type of setting. It feels quite brighter than my other one. Maybe some brighter posting will be in the works also.

Who am I kidding. I am just going to say what is on my mind like I usually do.

Those Darn Dog Days

2010-07-13T11:25:00.003-04:00

I was watching the Home Run Derby (well not really, you could call laying down on the couch while staring at your computer actually watching) and of course I reflect on the passing of the World Cup, NBA Finals, and Free Agency. Now there is just nothing that I have the desire to watch. When I watch First Take, they reach to find someone dressing in a hot dog suit or somebody breaking the world record for snot coming out of his nose.

No offense to MLS but I can't gather up the strength to watch that either. Most of the time the ball is in the air and other times players are clattering in to each other. It isn't desirable, even though I do pick the times to watch Michael Harrington and Corey Ashe play because they are my boys and I've played with them and respect their abilities at least. Other than that, you cannot get me to watch New England Revolution take on Toronto FC. No thanks, I'd rather cut myself.

And there is no way you can get me to watch Baseball, so I am not even going to try and give a reason why I would even give it a chance.

Summer is a time where it's possible to be outside all day and forget that television even exists. So maybe what summer is telling me (and I'm finally listening) is that I should turn the TV off, go outside and seize the day...

So You want to Switch Teams huh? Well Go Ahead!

2010-07-09T04:59:00.006-04:00

Well while I was dealing with a crazy girl on the fourth of July weekend (literally she probably was crazy) she said two things that resonated with me. 1) She said that she wanted to switch teams which if I could really react to that, I would have been like, "could you play on both teams?" and 2) she kept on complaining why guys are a$$holes

That is the one that irritated me the most and I knew that I didn't have an answer to that one because I don't feel as if I'm an asshole. Many women complain about not finding good men and they say that there aren't any out there. (Totally not speaking for myself now)

They are out there. You might have to look for them instead of expecting them to fall in your lap. Sometimes it does fall in your lap but most of the time maybe you will have to do some searching and you might not have to go to eharmony or match.com or none of that crap.

Guess what, if you keep on hooking up and hanging out with "a$$holes" then the problem might not be them. It might just be you. Maybe a little bit. yeah? Don't give me that confidence bullshit because it is straight up bull. I've seen girls go up to guys and talk to them instead of them waiting for the guys.

Obviously none of this is an exact science and no I am not a believe of there is someone for everyone. However anyone can find someone I do know that, but it isn't a certainty. If they do then great, if they don't, please don't go crazy because I won't go crazy if I don't find anyone. I'll just live my life and laugh at all the miserable couples because you are all miserable or at least will be looking miserable in about 3 years (okay I'll be nice and give you 5 but I doubt that)

So for that girl that I talked to and she wanted to switch teams: I'm not going to hold a free agency summit for her. She can do what she wants. I am not going to pressure anybody into anything but I got one question. Could I watch?

I'm just kidding calm down people. Well about the last question. Everything else is real...

P.S.: I had this picture in mind to go with this "switch teams" but I think my parents and others might see this post so I kinda want to leave the pic out but it was a good one tho. Ha Ha!!!!

Umm Pause???

2010-07-07T17:14:00.003-04:00

Wayne Rooney out on a jetski but obviously it is a pink one. Him and his family are on vacation in Barbados enjoying the sun and being much more of a role-model than Ashley Cole who was seen smoking and hawking down groupies who would flash him at any moment (Ashley Cole, professional athlete: Is it any wonder our World Cup Campaign went up in smoke?). So good on Wayne for spending time with the fam. Just man that jetski up a little bit.

Calvin's Got a Job!

2010-07-07T14:09:00.004-04:00

My name isn't Calvin or anything but yes I do have a job finally. I started working at a law firm as a service tech. Today was my second day. It isn't too difficult or anything, well at least from what I've seen. It'll definitely be a transition from my normal life of sleeping til 11am, eating, and then go back to sleep for a few. I need the busyness in my life. Waking up earlier and going to sleep earlier than I usually do. As of now I am only working from 9 to 1 but I am in training to take over my roommate's job.

So, what is this saying about my footy future. It doesn't say too much. Obviously this season is lost. However I am not going to say never to this footy thing. I feel like I have 8 to 9 more solid years left in me. I know that I can't keep on jumping from here to there but I think I needed to get out of New Zealand while I could, because I didn't have the money and I didn't want to sit around and do nothing to help me get a job when I get back. I enjoyed it and if I had my preference, I would have liked to stay albeit having a job but it was something I needed to do. It'll be nice to have solid job experience while I can and if a team from here or abroad comes calling then I hope to be ready. I've started running a couple of days ago and I hope to get back into some great fitness. I had fun while I could but now it's time to get back to work. Literally...

Snapping Back into Reality

2010-06-29T06:57:00.003-04:00

Lately, I have been having the strong urge to fill you guys in on my personal thoughts. Like why I haven't found someone special or feel like I have enough friends. However I tell myself: "No, These people do not need to know anything" I do have enough time in the day to let my mind just wander and think about what could have been and where I could have been. But I can tell you guys these things because hey, some people might feel the same way right?

The reality of things are that everything is harder than it seems, well maybe except for playing soccer or video games. Being as observant as I am, most people I know do not have much trouble doing anything. Being able to do anything they want, going on trips, finding almost any lady they can have, and just plain getting what they want. No jealously (well a little bit, I can't lie) but sometimes one has to make their own luck to get everything they wish for. I might have to work very very hard for luck to come my way. It isn't as if others don't but maybe I am not smart enough to have everything come to me.

I have always wanted the asshole gene. Sometimes I am too nice even if I am treated like shit. I want to just have that gene that just don't worry about those people instead of bringing them back in. I think that maybe they wouldn't be my friend if I ignored them so I say, "sorry" and let them hang out with me. I don't know what exactly can I do. Should I risk having no friends and being true to myself and not being gullible to those around me? or should I just do the same thing I've been doing and risk being hurt? The decision might be made for me. I might just have a moment where I might just snap and start just worrying about myself no matter how things work out.

My fantasy world is done and dusted. Just cause I think people like me, it doesn't mean that it is true. Snap back into Reality Dre, It's hard to trust many people these days...

The State of African Football

2010-06-24T03:27:00.005-04:00

I was actually thinking about this post for a while. Especially after seeing Nigeria and Cameroon basically bowing out in the first round. And Ghana, more than likely, being the only African representative left in this tournament. However there were a couple of respectable managers who beat me to the punch of why African Football is so close but yet so far.

When there are players like Michael Essien, Didier Drogba, and Samuel Eto'o, you wonder why exactly has there not been an African team who hasn't won the World Cup. Roger Milla from Cameroon was one of the first in 1990 to break through and make it to the Quarterfinals, but other than that and Senegal and in 2002, no team has broken through and made it into the Semifinals or Finals. Even an South Korea, from Asia, has made an semifinals. You have to think why haven't these talented players have yet to make it until the pinnacle of World soccer

Well there is hardly any stability in the African game. I watched ESPN's coverage of the World Cup and Ruud Gullit made a great point in saying that many of the African teams have a manager who have been with the team for only three months except for the Algerian team. And that isn't enough time to establish your values and tactics on a team. Cameroon and Ivory Coast are made examples. Paul Le Guen and Sven Goran Erikson didn't have a chance because these players have been use to a certain manager but then when they come into this situation and try to install their system, the players can't get use to it like that. And then the managers turn it like this: "okay, they aren't going to win anyways, let's collect the paycheck and go on with our business" And that is exactly what's happening right now. Most of these teams aren't going to make it out of the first round and the coaches are leaving out top players because they don't "fit their system"

The important thing that is keeping African football back is their discipline. How many times have u seen from an African keeper bad goalkeeping? Or a rash tackle that shouldn't be made? Or opportunities that they should have put away but they did not? Ghana isn't much organized and discipline as the other teams, they just benefited from the other teams mistakes. (They have only scored two goals this World Cup and both have been PKs) You can see the skill from these players, they know how to play football. However they still make those mistakes that makes you scratch their heads and the goalkeepers are basically amateur goalies trying to impersonate pros. Until all these players receive the right training, they will still continue to falter when you think they should be better.

I don't think that the continent of Africa needs to do a lot of work. All they need to do is stick with a manager no matter if it is good or bad. Tweak the way they are learning these kids how to play football so they can be the best possible footballers they can be. And just relax and play football bc they do know how to play the game, it's just a matter if they can play it effectively...

Let's Go boys!!!!

2010-06-23T08:38:00.005-04:00

For once, millions and millions around this country will be watching this game at pubs, in their houses, or at work. And if work won't let you watch the game, then they will be receiving text messages or constant updates.

We still probably won't be a soccer nation but we don't want this love affair to end just yet, especially with our come from behind tie (should have been a victory) against Slovenia. Even people who I know don't support soccer are finding places to watch the game. You would have not found such energy in 2006 or even in 2002 when we made it to the Quarterfinals.

We face Algeria in just under two hours. We need all of the support we can get. Hopefully Bob Bradley doesn't get the tactics wrong nor do we under-estimate our opponents. Algeria will be a decent team and if you can hold England to a nil-nil draw then you are doing well for yourself.

So everyone get your National Team jerseys/ shirts, paint yourself red/white/and blue, get your chants ready, and hopefully be ready to enjoy the next two hours because whether you think so or not. The boys need every single one of us more now than ever...

The FFF has got this all wrong

2010-06-21T05:09:00.005-04:00

(The bold is the added part of this original piece and probably the biggest reason why everything in France has went to shit)

If you have been living under a rock and not paying any attention to what is going on in the World Cup, you would know that the French national team is on the brink of anarchy (if it hasn't hit that point yet).

They've tied and lost their first two games between Uruguay and Mexico respectively. And they haven't even had a sniff on goal. With that Nicolas Anelka was axed from the side because of a tirade between him and their outgoing manager Raymond Domenech.

Yesterday, the team refused to train because of the decision to send Anelka home which caused Technical Directors to quit and fitness trainers to question the French players committment. Along with other in-fighting like William Gallas being jealous of Patrice Evra being captain. Franck Ribery and Yoann Gourcuff going at it in an airplane. And leading players not passing the ball to other teammates and campaigning other players to play.

One would think after hearing all this that all the blame would be shouldered on the players. However the whole Federation at large has to have some blame in this instance. With their handling of a manager that the players don't respect and the fact that they have already named a new manager after this tournament. They have got this all wrong.

I have said this hundreds and hundreds of times. How Raymond Domenech has kept his job this long is a mystery to me? He has not shown any of the qualities of a manager who knows what he is doing. And during matches, he looks like a statue. When there are managers like Diego Maradona, who looks like a cheerleader out there but still is getting his team into the second round of this tournament. There should be no reason why a team laden with talent should not be able to do the same.

I understand that after the 06 World Cup that he had "earned" (even though I think they got to that final in spite of Domenech) the right to carry his team into the Euro 2008 tournament. I believe that is when everything unraveled for this once proud footballing country. That is where constant in-fighting was a regular and they stumbled out of the tournament not even making it out of the first round. They could not even get a win against Romania who were suppose to be the whipping boys of the tournament.

In any proud, important footballing country, that would have been the end of Raymond Domenech's reign as manager. However I don't know whether they were trying to groom Laurent Blanc to the post or what but they decided to give this crackpot manager another two years. He has already lost the respect of his players at this point and the team was always in constant turmoil. Bringing in a manager like Paul Le Guen or Gerard Houllier would have at least brought some sibilance of stability. But no, the French Federation felt like they had their man who was going to do the job.

They stumbled through World Cup qualifying and in fact needed to go into a playoff to win the spot in the World Cup. Of course then the handball around the world happened that got France through when they probably should not have gotten them through.

Understandable once you get into the World Cup tournament that you should not fire your manager unless there are unreconciled differences. But when players openly challenged his rule a couple of months before the biggest tournament of the world. Domenech stumbling along for the last four years. We have to pin some of the blame on French Football.

Then you strip Thierry Henry of his captain's armband and only give him a limited role on the side. We know that he isn't at his prime anymore but he is the only one that can lift this team. I think most players on that team love and respect Henry. And stripping a legend of the French game his captainacy shows the rest of the squad that you do not know what you're doing and you do not care about the morale of the rest of the team. Domenech and the higher ups should have at least rewarded him for getting them here. Remember he did set-up the controversial goal.

Now you have to choose a new captain. And you should know that everyone thinks that they should be the captain of the team. The only one that you can bring an united front with is the captain you just stripped. So whomever they chose as captain wouldn't be everyone's choice and probably would not be ready for this responsibility with just a month left before their tournament started. So of course let's just put Patrice Evra into the firing lines further upsetting William Gallas because after Henry he probably feels like he should be captain of this team but there is no one in that starting lineup that deserves the armband.

And when it couldn't get worse, they decided to name Laurent Blanc the manager of the French National Team after the World Cup. Now this isn't a shot against Blanc, actually I am glad he is going to be manager. However when you name a new manager before the World Cup starts it is never going to end well.

You would think that players should love to play for their country in a World Cup because they may never get a chance to play for one again. It won't work when players hate their manager, players hate each other, and players hate the federation that they are playing for because they have treated them like shit for four years since great Zidane left the side. They might regret this later but they aren't going to play for a man who they know is going to be gone after this Tuesday's game (I am predicting them go by the waste side against South Africa). They have not played for him ever since the 06 World Cup so what makes anyone to think that they would play for him now?

Now we go to Patrice Evra's claim that there is a traitor amongst the ranks. I believe that even though these players do not like each other. They have a mutual hate for the French Football Federation and their manager so when Nicolas Anelka left they were quite sad and disappointed that such information was leaked out to the media. And I have a feeling that they know a player wouldn't do that to another player so they looked right at the FFF who hasn't been kind to the players any this tournament and has been criticizing them the whole way through. So it is no wonder that they didn't train on Sunday. They did not do that to the manager because if that was the case they wouldn't have been training at all this tournament, they were sticking it to the whole Federation for get ridding one of their fellow teammates.

They will show up on the field on Tuesday against South Africa physically but will they be there mentally I have no clue. However one thing is for certain, we will be watching this train-wrecked finally go off the cliff...

My (Monotonous) Life

2010-06-20T08:00:00.002-04:00

First and foremost, Happy Fathers Day to my Dad and all the other Pops out there. We appreciate your hard work and dedication to your families.

This Saturday more than any other Saturday basically is basically a highlight of my current life. First, I went out to Rose High School and did some sport specific conditioning work with the kids for about two hours. Then for about 12 hours after that, I was basically nowhere to be seen from the entire world. I closed myself in my room and just watched the soccer games and basically hung out in my room.

I was not grounded or not in trouble. I just felt the need to close myself from the world at large. I feel like I try too hard to get involved with people's lives. And that most other people (there are definitely exceptions) that could care less and not even going to bother to say hi or talk to me for that matter.

So I decided it was a good idea to close my computer. Sit in my favorite couch and watch tv. It actually felt pretty good for some reason. I did not feel any obligation to say anything to anyone nor did I feel antsy about getting on my computer or on the phone and say what's up.

I wouldn't say that I would like to do this sort of thing everyday but it would be very nice for a change to not feel the dependency of talking to people and enjoy the monotonous life that I am having at the moment. Especially when during the week, I am either working or playing pick-up soccer with some friends. It's nice to sit back, relax, kick-back, and enjoy the finer things. I remember when I use to do so when I was younger. I think it would be nice to get back to those things and not worry about the uncontrollable...

Just Rambling Away

2010-06-15T04:24:00.004-04:00

I have been staring at this blank screen for a good 15 minutes. I wanted to type a post about my search for a mate. However I've got nothing. Cannot say whether it is a sign. Whether I have a clue or do I really need to talk about this at the time. I'm only 24 years of age. I've got ample time. I guess. So now I just want to talk and ask myself questions because who reads this junk that my hands type on a keyboard?

I haven't been alone recently however I have found myself lonely whether with company or without it. I tend to draw myself away from people. I haven't gotten why I necessarily do this. Do I like people? Why can't I get along with some people? I am the sort of person who can be awkward around people if I have just met them. Once I get to know them and become comfortable with them then the awkwardness eventually goes away. Many don't let me get to that point and dissociate with me within the next couple of days or so. It is okay. The more I know about those kinds of people the less likelihood that I would talk to them anyways. I guess that could potentially answer some of those questions. Sometimes I also tried to force myself upon wanting to talk and it doesn't work that way. So I've laid off on those type of things and now taking everything for what it is. I'm going to be here and ready to listen to whatever you have to say.

I have looked at my facebook wall and just seen those stumbleupon sites that I've decided to post. No one writing on my wall or answering back to messages that I sent. I usually get bent out of shape at that point. Why don't people say hello or how have you been? Now it's just been whatever. People are busy with their lives and they don't want to talk to me or they do not have any time to talk. It is no problem to me anymore. I can take the loneliness. At dozes.

I've enjoyed hanging out with these guys from Greenville lately. It is more because we all have the same interests so it is quite easy to get along with these type of people. I like to play footy, we enjoy a good beer pong game, and we like to party. What more can you ask for really? It's good. I'm going to enjoy being back here for the next couple of weeks, playing pick-up and hanging out.

I am going to move to Raleigh in July and I'll probably be in a situation where I am going to be a hermit except for when I go to work. I know people in Raleigh but I don't know people in Raleigh. I don't think they'd be comfortable with me asking them whether they want coffee or not. Why I say that? Because I've already tried it a couple of times. Fail! So I have to figure out other ways to meet new people around there. Like I've said before in this blog that it isn't easy for me to go up to a random strangers and start talking to them. I don't know whether I need to do that or whether I need to start looking for clubs and other interests groups and start meeting people that way.

I've been rambling for a good 20 minutes around and most of it probably doesn't have any substances. It isn't one of those drunk post or anything, I haven't been able to get any sleep. Well only about two hours of sleep actually.

Well any-who, I hope to start meeting people soon. If it happens great, if not it won't be a lost cause. I can always walk to the beat of my own drum...

I'm Looking At Me. Not You Anymore!

2010-06-10T05:15:00.004-04:00

I've been hearing the constant calls for me to do something for someone else. Whether it is a broken contract (which I'm not all the way responsible for) or e-mail a person who obviously isn't going to listen to what I am going to say. Also I hear other voices telling me to do this and do that, and where are you going to be in the next five to ten years.

Quite frankly, I just don't know. It has been a month since I got back into the country and I am not going to lie, I wanted for the first few weeks just to relax, unwind and enjoy being with my friends and family because I was dealing with a lot of effed up ish back "yander".

Now that I am refreshed and ready to get going again. I am focusing on me now. I have always cared for others and tried to take care of them and talk them through things. However it is time for me to be a bit greedy with myself. Start developing a bit of cold-hearted spirit.

I am not saying I won't care for my friends because I will always care for them and have them in my hearts. All I am saying is that I need to be much more worried about me and not then because for the most part, they have their things in order. I need to get on their level in terms of having a steady life because it's been pretty crazy for me since I graduated. What I am saying is that the general focus will be on me and I will do everything in my power to make sure that I make something out of myself.

So for those that know me well, you get the same nice, caring, but sarcastic guy that you are use to getting however to those who can care less and want to cheat me (or has cheated me out of things) you are more than likely dead to me.

No matter what empty threats you throw at me, my house is going to be strong and I'm not going to let you just throw stones at it...

Respect is Due..

2010-06-09T10:31:00.003-04:00

(That is a big watch by the way)

Alright, I have called this man out millions of millions of times but we all know that this is a class footballer and I will pay respect when it is due. With a 40 goal season with Manchester United, leading them to Champions League glory and exceeding expectations at Real Madrid, he deserves all the respect that is given to him.

Most of us might not like him because of his brass cockiness. We cannot dispute that he is one of the best players of the world and on the rate he is going, he could potentially be one of the greatest legends.

You could say that his lifestyle choices aren't the best and he is an avid party animal. Unlike Ronaldinho and the real Ronaldo, he seems to grow stronger with every award he's received. Ronaldinho steadily dropped off once he won his FIFA World Player of the Year award. Ronaldo had the unlucky fortunes of getting injured time after time that caused his decline (even though I still think he could ball in the highest level). Even though he is at the tender age of 25 and probably still hasn't hit his prime yet (that is a scary thought) he will only get better if there is any way that he could be better.

This man has all the best qualities of a legendary footballer. He can strike a ball, has quick legs, can take free-kicks, is tall, and can head the ball. What more can you ask for? The only knock that I can think of is that he isn't the greatest passer but there are only a couple of great passers in the game right now. But he isn't a creative playmaker, he is more of a finisher. He is a Kobe Bryant compared to Xavi and Iniesta who are like Steve Nash.

He has won every award in the English game and will probably do the same (with the help of the Special One) in Spain. The only thing that allude this footballer is accolades in the international game. Like Messi and Rooney, he needs a signature performance in South Africa that will put him with the likes of Zidane, Pele, and Maradona. I think he is due for one. After getting to the semifinals in 06, it is time for him to make that next step.

I don't know if the quality of players in the Portugal National Team setup could help him (especially with his mate Nani being out of the tournament) but I am sure he will do everything in his power to keep his country in this tournament. He has done it with club. Why can't he do the same with country? I'm calling it! He is going to have a strong tournament. Portugal winning the World Cup? Well Michel Platini had one of those performances in 86 and he didn't leave with Jules Rimet Trophy. *Shrugs*

Sunday Ramblings

2010-06-06T23:44:00.004-04:00

I hope that I've gotten everything I need to finally move into my place. I'm heading back to Raleigh for the week tomorrow to make sure our cable and such is installed and make sure that everything is in place. I'm rooming with one of my good friends from high school. It should be fun hopefully we won't get into too much trouble. We're living near State and near the Hillsborough St. area so I'm sure we'll see a lot of college kids around. I might have to show these youngins a thing or two. About what? I don't know.

World Cup starts in just about four days. I cannot wait until it starts. Even though some of the main stars are injured and not being in the squad but it is okay. There are definitely some stars that could be made in this tournament. I'm not sure who is going to come out on top, but you really can't bet against the Brazilians. The Dutch always look good during these friendlies but they often flop during the tournament, however I think this is the year that they make their run. If Spain can do it then I know the Dutch can make their break-through.

Just watched a new episode of the Boondocks and I am quite disappointed with this season. There were some funny parts like Thugnificent telling Sergeant Gutter that "he could eat a dick" and when those three old people were saying "We N*****, we like ruining s&*^." Other than that, there hasn't been a classic episode yet. Hopefully more the episode will be better than the ones before it especially since it took them two years to make a new season. I'm still going to watch and enjoy but I hope it gets better.

I was searching upon the boondocksbootleg site and I was looking over some of the fights that were going on. Due to the fact that I've never seen a serious fight go on in real life but when I saw one on youtube it is one of the most graphic things ever. Watching these youtube clips of fights, hearing skin on skin and people falling on the ground hitting their head hardly than they've been hit. It makes me have a new outlook on fighting. I use to try to instigate fights (with people that I don't know that is) but now I'm not going to try and instigate anymore. I'm not going to stop them from fighting though. I'd mess around and get knocked out for no good reason. Nah I'm not dealing with that. Drink, party and have a good time. Stop fighting.

On that, you remember the time where you would get in a fight with someone and that'll be the end of it? Those days have been long gone. People fight one on one and then when they lose, they have to prove that they are a big man and bring five guys with them to beat up the winner. Then once that was done there has to be more retribution afterwards. The cycle never ends. Be a man and if you get beat up one on one, take your ass whooping and go elsewhere.

Just don't go back to the bar where you got your ass beat. Hahaha

Alright I am going to get to watching these comedy stand-up dvds and hopefully get to bed sometime. This week should be a good one. I'm going to chill out in Raleigh, find an apartment with a pool and enjoy the free time I have left. I'll have a few weeks before I am working full-time. So cheers to Sunday and for everyone have a good week. Shoot me a message somewhere anywhere. It is literally hard to not get a hold of me. So peace for now...

Obama, I don't want to see you on ESPN anymore

2010-06-04T10:09:00.003-04:00

This post isn't for the political head conservatives who want to jump on any chance to bop on Obama in the head because I am sure he is a cool dude when he's not president. Let's be honest if Mother Theresa was president of the United States we would still be beefing with her.

I am just saying that I am sick and tired of hearing Barack's opinions about sporting events. Who cares what he thinks about Lebron James' impending free agency search? Or his NCAA bracket. I've never seen so much sports coverage of one man. Maybe that is why many people are upset with him, because he's stating his opinion on too many things. There are times where you just need to STFU (you can google it).

Then again, people beef with the man because he makes mistakes. I have never complained about Bush in that way because we are human we all make mistakes. I've hardly seen a president in my time of living get everything right. No one does. Even you can't get it right. I'm not going to tell you guys to stop talking about him because if we were in one of those socialism societies you were talking about in the being. You probably would be caught, beaten, and killed after you made your "confession" (Ask the Soviets about that).

So if you are the going to clown the man, clown him on talking about sporting events because he's not Adam Schefter or Michael Smith. He shouldn't be reporting on anything that has to do with sports. Pass some bills, fix the leak, and restore peace in the world

Wait a minute, that last part is literally impossible...

People-Watching

2010-06-03T15:14:00.003-04:00

I can sit at a place for hours and hours on in and just people watch. For the brief 5 to 10 seconds that you see someone, you'll see the most interesting things. Their mannerisms, their talk, and the way they look at people, it makes me laugh to see what they do and how they do it.

For example, I'm currently sitting at the library on the second floor. It is a two-story library but it has an elevator. I understand what the elevator is for. It is for those who cannot easily get up and down stairs. These two able black women looked down the stairs, couldn't be bothered by just going down one flight and pressed the elevator button and waited for the elevator. It would have definitely been easier for them to walk their lazy asses down the stairs rather than waste their time with the elevator.

Another example, these two guys sitting across from me that think that I don't know that they are talking about me. I can see you out of the corner of my eyes man.

At the same time it could just me being a bit paranoid and they aren't saying anything to me at all. And my fly might be undone. Fair play on them then.

Why is this guy wearing biker shorts???

I saw Chris Brown 2.0 today. He was walking down the stairs and I was walking up. He was crumping down hardcore. I couldn't help but look at him.

This white dude is repping blood colors. Repping it real hard. Red hat, red shirt, and red shoes. There better not be any crips or you'll be hearing about it on the WRAL news that the Cameron Village Library got shot-up. I hope to be interviewed if that happened.

Then again, I hope to make it out alive at the same time.

Oh snap, interracial couple kissing by the water fountain. I don't think these three old white man would not like that. Then again, I see some black women mean-mugging the shit out of them.

This post turned out to be from me talking about people-watching to just straight up observations about people watching. Oh well, * shrugs * same difference right?

I guess you can see a whole lot whenever you are just looking everywhere so keep your eyes and ears open....

"Well that was a Cruel Joke"

2010-06-01T07:08:00.004-04:00

Normally I would not try to talk about dreams or anything too personal. However I think a few of you would enjoy this dream because I think that some of you would laugh at this. It is definitely something that I won't think will happen in real life or anything but it's whatever.

So me and my family are apparently living in this huge townhouse. I have this pretty big room and I recently made the mistake of a) having my cleats in my room which I know is a no-no and b) those cleats being dirty. So that being said my room was a huge mess. I cleaned up my mess and dragged all my cleats downstairs, cleaned them, and then left them in the closet downstairs

Now, I get this call from a man, who lives next door, tells me that he wants me to fix his computer. Me, needing the extra cash, says sure and walk over there.

I get over there and their house was pretty flash. We shake hands and I go over to fix their computer. I have to tell you this also, I have never been in this house, never seen it, and don't know any layout of it. (That will come later). I get to going on the computer. Pretty straightforward job that I had and it took me about 30 minutes.

After I was done, he went to introduce me to his wife. I was shocked because I actually have met this person before. We had dinner and just talked. Nothing sinister because I knew she was married and all. Plus I was not interested in her in that way. We went on our separate ways and I haven't heard back. So I see her and I didn't really want to say that I met this person because I am sure that she hasn't told him anything like that. I wouldn't think it would cause any problems but just be awkward so I play it off shake their hands and get on with my day.

I decided not going straight home. Instead I wanted to catch some air and get some lunch.

I got home later on that night, turned on my light to my room, and saw that there were heaps of dirt in my room and my soccer shoes all over the place and they were dirty and muddy.

I get a call from that guy's number right after I enter the room. He doesn't greet me or anything he says, "Don't you ever go into my bedroom again." I was like what are you talking about? He said you know exactly what I mean. I heard all about you, my wife told me everything. I was still like wtf. I have never went into your bedroom ever. (After I woke up and thought it over, I realized what he meant. He knows physically I have never been in his room but in another way. Get it now?)

I still look around at all my mess and then I see my Dad who sees it and lays into me and rightfully so. I try to tell him that I didn't do this but I mean why should he believe me, it is my room and my cleats are spread out everywhere. So I took the yelling and said that I would clean up my room.

After he left, I knew what just happened. The guy came into my house dirty-up my cleats and put dirty all over my room. I just thought to myself, okay how can I get this guy back?

A couple of weeks later, the guy went on his computer and his wife had her e-mail account on. He saw an e-mail from me. I sent her an e-mail saying, "Let's run away together, I got two first class trip tickets to Monaco and we should leave today. Click on the attachment for more details." He was angry and he clicked on the attachment to download it. The screen went blank and I came back on,

"Hey, well that was a cruel joke that you just played on me but I can play a crueler one. While you were at work, I went back into your house and I wrote this e-mail and put a virus into all your electronic equipment. Now before I decide to push the button to cut off all your electricity and would take days to fix it, I would like for you to go to your room."

He walked in his room and I littered his wall with pictures of me holding two-thumbs up. He could hear me in the background, "Now I was physically in your room." Then I turned off the electricity in their house.

I was standing outside hearing him yell out my name. I was laughing getting in my car and I drove off as I moved away from my parents' house.

Uncle Ruckus Goin Off

2010-05-23T11:45:00.003-04:00

I love how people can call and start cussing out a cartoon character. Uncle Ruckus is crazy as shit. I love it and I love the Boondocks.

UR-"I cannot say anything bad about Oprah, except I did hear she own her own slaves. She that rich. She that rich, she owns her own slaves. She's got a plantation.
Interviewer-" How you know mannnn"
UR- "I use to work for her. Do some gardening."

Why don't You just "Stumbleupon"

2010-05-21T12:08:00.002-04:00

Like everything else. I just got hip to this website about a week ago. My good friend Aaron West told me about this site called Sumbleupon. This site basically put all your interests together and when you make a search to a wesbite then it'll search that website that has in common with your interests.

I have found a lot of funny websites and lots of useful sites too. Since I am a computer nerd and all I like being able to have the opportunity to hack into my electronic equipment. Or comics that are flat out funny.

Also there are pages that say random things that would make the average human laugh. Last night I watched this video where they made fun of George W. Bush talking about the threat of "Zombies" those type of satires always make my day.

During the times where I help around the house and possibly get bored at times. It's nice to go on stumbleupon and look at a site that I might actually keep on looking after I'm done looking at it the first time.

And Girls are evil though....

In need of a Music Upgrade

2010-05-12T04:12:00.005-04:00

I have been in New Zealand for three months and I found it hard to keep up with the new music out there. For the people who do not know me, I am not an avid radio listener and I often get my new music from various mixtapes and favorable advice from good friends.

However due to the fact that "getting" music isn't do-able in New Zealand with their current data limits that some people have. I have been stuck on the same music on my ipod. I don't mean to complain about the music I have but I enjoy having something different.

So I have been current rummaging around all the music blogs to find new music and have beats bumping in my Grand Cherokee.

Obviously I got one of my favorite rappers mixtape. Cop that Young Jeezy's Trap or Die 2 mixtape. I've been bumpin that for a little bit. The Atlanta rapper gets me amped up everytime he spits his rhymes.

Also just found out that Eminem's new album will be coming out in a month. The chances of it being leaked out is very likely so I will be trying to get that as soon as possible. He spits rhymes better than anyone in the game together. I am listening to one of his singles "Not Afraid" and I don't have any bad things to say about it. His dark tone is something that I am drawn to.

I am going to keep looking up and down these sites until I find the music that I want. Being a music addict, I won't stop until I get enough.

However when you are an addict, it is never enough isn't it...

Sounds Familiar? The Mourinho Talk

2010-05-12T03:18:00.005-04:00

Jose Mourinho has gone through all this speculation before.

You know the whole 'is he going to leave after the Champions League finals' speculation. It happened six years ago when he was with Porto and Chelsea were after him. Now he is with Inter Milan and Real Madrid are said to be after the Portuguese Tactician. The Special One is said that he does not want to discuss his decision until after the Champions League Final is over.

All signs says that he'll be at the Bernabeau next season. It is speculated that Rafa Benitez could potentially be a successor to Mourinho at Inter. And with Mourinho's disdain for those in and around Italian Football, the Summer skies of Spain is probably an offer he simply cannot refuse.

I understand where Real is coming from. You would want a manager who is closing in on a second Champions League trophy. The CL prize is the only award that those in the capital will accept. Mourinho also beat Los Galácticos rivals, Barcelona, over a two-leg Semifinal affair with two masterful performances to hold off the current Champions League holders. I am sure the feeling around the Bernabeau is that Mourinho would be the kryponite that would get rid of Barcelona's stranglehold on the Spanish Game.

Mourinho would be the most high profile managerial appointment since Fabio Capello in 2006. The ego of Jose would help in a lockerroom that has many superstars in it especially with the likelihood that more players will come in. Mourinho's ability to deflect attention from players like Cristiano Ronaldo and Kaka would be effective. He could get the best out of Kaka who had a terrible season due to his lofty standards. Also with the main "politicians' in the club finally leaving (Raul and Guti), the Portuguese manager can have free reign to instill his tactics in the club.

For Real, Mourinho would be a thumbs up.

On Mourinho's side of things, He tells of his love for Inter Milan and their supporters but he has found it troublesome being in Italy with all the conservative thinkers in the game often being upset with him. If Inter were in England, there would not be much of the problems that he is dealing with now but he has slowly grown tired of the Serie A and feels as if the new challenge would be great for him.

He still has an love affair with the English media and the Premiership. Unfortunately for him there aren't any desirable jobs at the moment. The top four (this year's top four) managers are established in their clubs. Liverpool are probably going to lose many of their top players and Manchester City have maintained that Roberto Mancini is the man for the job in the Eastlands. So England looks as if it is a far memory for him unless he wants to risk dealing with life without Champions League football for a season. That would be uncharacteristic for him to do.

For Mourinho, this would be his only option unless he wants to honor his contract with Inter. Who honors contracts anymore???

When I begin to think about the possible marriage between Mourinho and Los Blancos I wonder how it would work. A team that is strictly built on offense having a manager who is known for his counter-attacking style. Would this work especially with figureheads in Madrid loving attractive football? I think they would make the sacrifice if it would guarantee them a couple of Champions League trophies because even though besting Barcelona for the La Liga title is a great accomplish. They only eye Champions League silver. With Mourinho's pedigree and ability of making Champions League finals, it would be a mistake for Real to not consider Mourinho right for the job.

This will come to a head within the next couple of weeks. The speculations will come fast and furious. Knowing Mourinho, he loves it when people talk about him...

Nine Games in

2010-05-01T14:14:00.003-04:00

So with all the craziness going on in my head and all, Three Kings have managed to make a move on the Northern Premier League Table. After I was moved back into the Center back position we've gone five games without a lost (four wins and a tie).

Not trying to be a show off but it is what it is. Due to my current problems, I've been on beast mode for every Saturday. There are some times that I don't even remember the Saturday afternoons or even the nights that I go out. It takes me the Monday morning to realize what I have done. It is really strange

Yesterday (Saturday) we beat Lynn-Avon 3-1. We kind of had a rough go at it first because we went down a goal due to us not concentrating. However we came out strong in the second half and rightly deserved our victory. Even though their coach didn't even give us any credit for the game. We were better than them overall and deserved to win.

There are times where I think we believe things are going to be easy for us. We have to know that this league is much more competitive than Division 1 and we are going to have to come up huge during these games. Even if we are flat, let's make sure that we don't give up any or many goals as it is. We have to dig in and figure ourselves out because once the true Three Kings come out, it is pretty hard to contain us.

Personally, I am okay. Even if mentally I am not always there. My footy stays important and consistent how I always try to be. There are many who are injured at this time and I can't blame them because i know that our players don't want to be injured but it is what it is. I try to keep myself injured free by not doing the shooting drills on Wednesday and doing some necessary fitness during the days before training. That is what I can do especially when I do nothing otherwise.

So we are nine games in and closing in to the title race. To start the season, I didn't think we would be even close but as the team comes together and we realize that even the ugliest of wins will do. We have a feeling that we will be in the title race til the end even with the players we have on the bench now. If we were all healthy, we are a top three team for sure. At least talent wise. But as they say:

"Hard Work beats Talent when Talent doesn't work hard."

So we have to work hard for our wins, no matter how good or bad it looks, let's take care of business.

Today is my Mother's Birthday. Everyone say happy birthday to my mom because she is the most important person in my life right now.

I can come to her with anything and she understands where I am coming from and can give me the right advice about what I should do.

Even though I might be confused about what I should do right now, she can at least give me some sort of guidance about what I can do or not do.

Other than that, I am okay. I would love to come home at the same time staying in New Zealand for a couple of years would not hurt me either. What is going to happen if I do stay here? Probably nothing, no one would really know that I am even gone unless they checked up on me. There are only two or three people that would check up on me in that way anyways.

Right now, I am going to be patient because at least right now, things do not work out for me how I should expect they should. I'll just ball out on the footy field with my red AdiPure IIs (I'm going to show u a pic of them soon) and have fun with life because that is what my family and true friends would want me to be doing. Having fun with life!....