Rejected!!

It is something about myself that I need to start getting over. I hate being rejected. It is a difference than just losing as in I can handle losing if me or my team didn't play well enough to win but just being rejected by people is a pet peeve that I can't get over.

For example, when I am trying to talk to somebody or dance with someone. They immediately dash off to the "bathroom" and hang out with a douchebag that they will eventually call a jerk later on. It pisses me off like none other. It makes me think: what exactly did I do wrong? What do I need to do differently? Do I need to bother? All those questions come to mind when I think about these things.

Also, when I get rejected I rarely get back up on the saddle and try again with somebody else. I kind of shut down and just sit or stand by myself. I know that needs to stop but it is kind of difficult especially when you feel inadequate. So I kinda stew in my rejection for a little while until later on I'm kicking a burrito into a bush.

I don't know what I can do about it. Counseling? Nah I'm not doing that. Lowering my standards? That definitely isn't happening. Maybe I just need to get over myself. I told myself that one of my resolutions would be not to get angry sometimes when I hang out. So maybe I shouldn't get angry when I get rejected. It happens to everybody.

Even Kobe gets rejected from time to time....

(With him, it is basketball though. I don't want to get it twisted)

My Complains and big ups

Second edition of the complains page and a new page talking about the big ups:

My Complains:
UNC Smoke Free: Now I understand that you are trying to get this campus smoke free and everything but come on, when you measured off 100 yards off of any building, did it have to be right smack dab in the middle of campus. When you walk through the quad you will see right where the American flag is like 20 people smoking. Now I am not upset with the smokers but could you find a more discrete place for them to smoke? I don't think they care but I just find it some what odd.

So you just going to stand by the bar for no reason?: If the bar/club is crowded and you have a full bottle of beer or whatever you drink, get YO ASS away from the bar area. Other people want drinks too. What are you necessarily doing there? You have your drink find somewhere else to be. Make yourself useful. Pick up a girl or two, I don't know just let the other people get themselves a drink.

"Hey who's beeper keeps on beepin and beepin": Hammer really? If you don't know I'm talking about the Monday Night Football Commercial where the guy is having a dream that he is in the studio with MC Hammer. Another beef with this commercial. Why are you dancing IN THE STUDIO. NOBODY IS GOING TO SEE YOU!!! It has gotten this low.

Facebook Chat on the new Facebook: Now I am not going to go up here and hate on the new facebook or anything. I don't have no real beef with that. I have more beef with the slowness of facebook chat on it and also why does it always signs the other person off when I send them a message. Don't you know it makes me think that they are trying to ignore me, I mean I am already paranoid as it is. hahaha



Big Ups
This is the first of my big ups page:

My Parents: Now I know it is pretty easy to show big ups to my parents but they came up huge for me. They helped clean out my debit card and gave me some spending money because I find it hard to get a job while I'm back to doing the college thing again.

Theo Walcott: This English youngster in the last couple of weeks showed why he was allowed to go to the 06 World Cup with England when he was 17 years old. A couple of weeks ago he was the youngest English player (at 19) to get a hat trick against Croatia and help lead a 4-1 thrashing. Ever since then he has been instrumental in the rise of Arsenal getting back to the top of the table in the Premiership. Big ups to the lil man.

My couch: Yeah for some odd reason I've been getting my best sleep on my couch and not my bed. I tried to sleep in my bed on sunday and it just didn't feel right so right afterwards I went to the couch and slept a whole lot better. So I've slept on my couch ever since. It's weird but it's mad comfortable.



That's about it for now. I know it might be a disappointment but I think my brain is drained from all the work I did today. I don't know what I'm going to write about next. I guess it will come to me sooner or later

I'm just that atypical guy...

From a little inspiration from a vlog that I've been watching. I decided to just give it a write about me, but not really getting too emotional about not having friends and shit like that right now and just saying educated about things.

Now I've always wondered about myself and when I have time to spend by myself during the times I go out I just wonder. What is different about me than other people. I know I am rather reserved and I'm not a flashy kind of guy that goes out and chases hardcore of something he wants. You know you wonder what is the difference between you and the next guy. I just see for what it is. I mean I'm not a rapper, or a bar/club owner, nor am I a basketball/ or even football player. I'm just a regular guy with a not so tall 5'10 frame that probably stands hidden from all the towers that girls love so much. I mean let's be honest, not many people are going after the soccer players, they can do better unless you are foreign (latino more likely) or you are a lil kid that girls feel like they can take advantage of.

Also I may be going after the wrong type of girls. What is the wrong type of girl though. We all look for somebody we like no matter what they look like. Everybody's made fun of me once or twice before in my life. I've had a couple of black girls make fun of me, a couple of white girls, hispanics, indians, and even fat girls make fun of me. I've always wondered why? Is it because I'm not dressed like the "typical" black male is suppose to be dressed like. I'm not rocking a nice fresh fitted, with a throwback jersey which are matching by the way with the matching shoes. I don't just put my arms around a girl like I've known her for years even though I just met her? Or maybe I just come off as that guy. That odd ball, I've seen them at bars. You know who they are, they aren't really the tallest, they don't have a status that you like (athlete or bar/club owner) or just anything. They buy drinks to girls that they know and shots to get them in the mood. And after they give them the shots, the girls leave and they try to find more girls to buy shots to. I mean I can't fault the girls, I mean if someone wants to buy you shots to take and it is free for you. Why not? But think about that guy after it is all done. How is he feeling. He's probably spent $80-100 on drinks and he doesn't really have anything to show for it. Now unless he's a millionaire or his parents are loaded then he might seem like him that's money gone down the drain. But also the guy can't really be faulted also because he feels like he has an unfair advantage over the "ballers" and that he has to try other things to get people's attention. Don't really know who wins in this situation

Me? I'm not going to do that for a couple of reasons. A. I don't have that money nor a job to do such nonsense. B. I don't want to feel like I can take advantage of a person by buying them as many shots as possible even though in the end they make some excuse about going to the bathroom and never seeing them again. C. I don't know I feel more comfortable just talking to someone and getting to know people rather than just buying shot after shot after shot. You know at the end of the day, they probably won't remember seeing you right? Hey that's just something for ya to think about.

What I want to say about myself is that I'm going to stay as myself and whatever happens, will happen. I have about six months left in Chapel Hill as it is and don't really plan on living here past that point. So I'm going to have fun with my people and enjoy myself. Cause if it doesn't come with any tail you can't really depress yourself over it. Maybe there's a good reason and maybe that's just a mistake which isn't really worth it. So I will stay the atypical black guy who is 2-4 inches short and I'm just a soccer player not a baller like those others and honestly I like the way I am. And I can understand maybe confidence helps you out a lot, but then again how can some be confident when people reject. It's kinda like soccer when you haven't played in forever and then they decide to put you in a game 75 minutes in and they expect you to be confident, you can't just turn on the switch like that it's impossible. So the question is, am i changing before I leave this place for good? Nah not changing, i'm going to stay me because I like me and my confidence will develop over time, so I'm not worried.

Now I've advertised my site on facebook again and I just wonder how many people will read this and how many people will be rather upset, because let's be honest there might just be a little fact to this lil post, take it from me I'm rather observant and i see almost everything! haha

So back to reality once again while I get ready for my war against the con artist formerly known as prince. It's on. I'm ready!