I'm Looking At Me. Not You Anymore!

I've been hearing the constant calls for me to do something for someone else. Whether it is a broken contract (which I'm not all the way responsible for) or e-mail a person who obviously isn't going to listen to what I am going to say. Also I hear other voices telling me to do this and do that, and where are you going to be in the next five to ten years.

Quite frankly, I just don't know. It has been a month since I got back into the country and I am not going to lie, I wanted for the first few weeks just to relax, unwind and enjoy being with my friends and family because I was dealing with a lot of effed up ish back "yander".

Now that I am refreshed and ready to get going again. I am focusing on me now. I have always cared for others and tried to take care of them and talk them through things. However it is time for me to be a bit greedy with myself. Start developing a bit of cold-hearted spirit.

I am not saying I won't care for my friends because I will always care for them and have them in my hearts. All I am saying is that I need to be much more worried about me and not then because for the most part, they have their things in order. I need to get on their level in terms of having a steady life because it's been pretty crazy for me since I graduated. What I am saying is that the general focus will be on me and I will do everything in my power to make sure that I make something out of myself.

So for those that know me well, you get the same nice, caring, but sarcastic guy that you are use to getting however to those who can care less and want to cheat me (or has cheated me out of things) you are more than likely dead to me.

No matter what empty threats you throw at me, my house is going to be strong and I'm not going to let you just throw stones at it...

Not a Thought

Well I could go on and talk about life in New Zealand. Or I could talk about people moving on with their lives or me moving on with mine or going stagnant with it. But I don't have too much thoughts about these things. I've been thinking but they haven't been the clearest thoughts. Am I missing home? Nah not necessarily. I'm going to miss it during the summer months but that's when the season is going to be so I don't think I'll be missing it too much. I'll probably be in autopilot mode by then, hopefully I'll have a job, the season will be going well or good enough.

Hopefully in the next couple of weeks I can give you in details of how things are going in my head and why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling. Because we come on this blog site for my nonsense and not me saying my brain is on E....

Just keeping my head in line.

Hey there everybody. End of another week and the start of a new week in about 15 minutes. Just wanted to speak what I thought of just the general shit in my head. So here goes nothing.

You know something that I hate. I hate when people wave and you think that people are waving to you and in all reality they are probably waving at somebody else. That just really gets to me because it is embarrassing to be wave and then they are like, no not you the person behind you and then you are just like oh, sorry. Then you feel foolish and when somebody might actually wave to you. You are caution and make not wave back and prolly look behind me and then point haha makes you feel really bored.

New people or people that we know of each other but we aren't really the best friends. Forgive the caution that'll take when I'm talking to you. It isn't that I don't like you, it's more to the fact that I fear that being myself all the way when you have no clue about me might just turn you guys off as friends. Maybe I need to learn to just say whatever I'm going to be myself and if you all hate it, it's okay, and you guys like it, then we can go from there. But yeah if you are saying that I'm timid behind close doors, that's more the reason for the things I do.


I need to buy some notebooks.....yes it is almost october and I need to buy books...just a random thought to get away from the seriousness

I find it strange that alcohol gives you the same munchies reaction that we gives you. I mean doesn't alcohol fill you up? I am not an expert on alcohol or anything but I am just wondering. You can eat and then start drinking and then a hour later you are wondering where is the nearest waffle house. I just find it somewhat strange that it is the case that you drink and then you're hungry as shit.

I wonder what other people think about this type of stuff. Why do people belittle others who do blogs. They want to express their thoughts or experiences on a forum that they might think that their friends might enjoy reading. Keep your mind open to shit and don't call it gay because it isn't something that you wouldn't do.

The picture is dedicated to the cartoon that use to come on nickelodon Rocket Power. For some reason I just saw it on tv on another show. That show was the shit. Cartoons in general are the shit. Aqua Teen Hungerforce is my favorite show and meatwad is my main man. Oh man, I am digressing to a point that I should stop talking

Opinion of a free mind: Pt. 1

I've had this question posed to me a lot. What are your long-term goals? what are you looking for in your life? Now at first I thought I knew what I was looking for. To play soccer, have a lady-friend, and have bunch of friends to hang out and have a good time with. But for some reason or another some of those things aren't meant to be. I don't know maybe i'm over-hyper about making friends or maybe i'm trying to be friends who seen me one night and probably don't remember me the next. I know it is a fault that I am trying to rid of but hey it's hard to get rid of bad habits.

I was this close to going out by myself and just hangin by myself at a bar today. I don't know what stopped me, I was at the parking lot and I was ready to get out but something told me that nah, you just need to go home. It wasn't like I was sad or anything. Of course I just didn't want to sit by myself while all the others just sat their and have fun with their friends. I only have a couple of true friends left. It's hard, It's hard. People tell you that you are their friends until they either take advantage of you but using you just as an outlet for their problems and not concerning themselves with just having a conversation with you and those that tell you that they are your friends and then just ignore you. I'd rather you hurt my feelings and tell me the truth. The truth is better than lying or telling people other shit. I listen to soo many people talking about how others are annoying and bother them on facebook and it just hits me. Hey! others are probably sayin the same about me. But that is okay if you just want to fake it and tell me shit but then on the other part of the screen or your mind you say "gah why is he talking to me" then that's okay to but hey remember the faster you tell the truth that faster you rid of me from your whole life and that's what most of you want. Right? Right? Right?