Calvin's Got a Job!

My name isn't Calvin or anything but yes I do have a job finally. I started working at a law firm as a service tech. Today was my second day. It isn't too difficult or anything, well at least from what I've seen. It'll definitely be a transition from my normal life of sleeping til 11am, eating, and then go back to sleep for a few. I need the busyness in my life. Waking up earlier and going to sleep earlier than I usually do. As of now I am only working from 9 to 1 but I am in training to take over my roommate's job.

So, what is this saying about my footy future. It doesn't say too much. Obviously this season is lost. However I am not going to say never to this footy thing. I feel like I have 8 to 9 more solid years left in me. I know that I can't keep on jumping from here to there but I think I needed to get out of New Zealand while I could, because I didn't have the money and I didn't want to sit around and do nothing to help me get a job when I get back. I enjoyed it and if I had my preference, I would have liked to stay albeit having a job but it was something I needed to do. It'll be nice to have solid job experience while I can and if a team from here or abroad comes calling then I hope to be ready. I've started running a couple of days ago and I hope to get back into some great fitness. I had fun while I could but now it's time to get back to work. Literally...

What Exactly am I chasing?

Am I chasing the dream or a much happier life?

I've been going through this dilemma for about a month now. Unfortunately the answer to this question isn't as easy as I would want it to be. I'd rather it just be staring me at my face so I can make the decision accordingly. However no, this will continue to wreck my brain until I make up my mind what exactly I would want to do. The crappy thing about this is what ever decision that I make then more than likely the other one will most definitely close up forever. So this is probably the most important decision that I'm going to have to make in my life. I don't know. I've drawn up some of my options and see what are the benefits and disadvantages to each.

I've been (so eloquently called) "chasing the dream" of playing professional soccer for a couple of years now. It is something I want to do, I've been playing footy all my life so it is kind of hard to change my ways. So I've been trying to get in contact with teams and have had a couple of tryouts lined up. Like I said in a previous post about going to a Real Maryland tryout in which I got good reviews and such. And I know that I've gotten a tryout in Richmond in February. Now I can play well but the same thing that happened to me when I tried out for the Railhawks could happen to me in these places. They could make me go through "another round" of tryouts. And then not picking anyone at all. That process kind of left me with a bad taste in my mouth and that is something that I don't want to go through.

Thinking about it now. It might just be chasing the dream. I've seen so many guys who have been through the circuit many of times. And I don't want to be one of those guys because I know if I'm not good enough to make it through the eyes of these coaches then I probably should do something else. I mean I'm never cocky about anything that I do but when I say that I'm better than some of the players that they do pick. However the "good ole boy" system comes into effect and they'll pick players that they know and want to give them their chance. So I don't know whether to chase this dream will be much worth it anymore.



I've gotten the unique opportunity to go back to New Zealand. Now even though I've had some growing pains and what I not, I thoroughly enjoyed my time there and I would like to live there for as long as possible. And I get to play some footy also which would be good. I get to play on the team that I played on last year. My coaches have the faith in me and my ability unlike those back home. They know that I can play my preferred position even though I'm not the suitable height (whatever that means). There might have been some changes to the team, but all the guys that I've gotten to know are all quality guys on and off the field. I wouldn't trade that experience with anything else in the world. Plus the other people that I've met are another reason why I would love to come back.

Still though, most of the time, the sequel isn't as good as the first one. What if this "chasing of a happier life" is only a quick fix? And in the long run, it ends up being a bust? Another thing that I have to think about is getting a job because I cannot just play soccer there unfortunately. I have to find a way to get a job. I mean I've had a tough time finding a job in the United States as it is, so I'm sure it'll be rough for me to find a job around there. Also what if my footy isn't as good as it was last year? You never know when you've think that you hit your peak or not until it happens. It is just the things that go through my head (but I'll get that out of my head, my best years are still ahead of me).




I know that life is about the challenges and the opportunities that I have. Also I know that I just have to go out there and just take the chance. It'll be possible that I will fail or that I will succeed. You have to accept whatever happens and go back to the drawing board. Now the thing is that I'm pretty much 50/50 in each situation. However it isn't like I've gotten something concrete from any of these teams here in the United States so it might just be tricks and whistles on their part and they may find some other USL-1 or MLS reject to take my spot because he has some sort of "name" now. Also I don't know whether my parents will want to pay the ticket for NZ (or at least some of the ticket because hopefully by the time the flight comes I will have some money to pay them back) even though the club that I'm going to play for is going to reimburse me once I get there.

Like I said, I wish the answer could just smack me in the face. But it's life, more importantly my life and I am going to have to make some tough decisions in it. Right????

Driver Seat is in the Correct Side

Saturday night at 9pm I got into the Charlotte Airport and my journey was officially over at that point in time. Of course I'm going to miss everyone in Auckland, but it's glad to be back home. My momma made the drive to pick me up and take me home. The only minus on my return was that my luggage was left in Los Angeles (argh). I was bit upset about it but there wasn't really any need to bitch out the people at customer's service because I knew that it wouldn't help any. No worries I got my luggage today so that's all good.


So what was the first thing I did when I was back?
Honestly, I found my keys, grabbed my ipod, and went out on the road for a little bit. When I was here before I left, I use to go on drives around the city just because I wanted to cruise and get out of the house. I wasn't able to do so when I went to NZ and it was even more uncomfortable being on the other side of the road or having the driver's seat on the right hand side instead of the left. Let alone feeling uncomfortable driving someone's car. I didn't want to make a mistake or anything. The two times I drove in NZ, I felt so uncomfortable driving and I was worried if I still had the skills to drive a car. I got into my laredo and it was just like riding a bike. All the skills were there and it felt good passing people on the road also. Luckily I wasn't driving very first fortuntely.

"I love my babymamas, they get my highest honor. I got to take care of the kids, man I know you heard Obama."- Lil Wayne- Swag Surfin
There is actually no meaning in this quote. It is more just stating the fact that I miss having songs on time. And once I got back home, I made sure to get this song among others. Another thing that I'm going to do is listen to the radio (shocking because I never listen to it) and watch MTV and BET for the hot music out. I have to get back in touch with the music so my ipod will be bumpin in the streets of Greenville/Raleigh/ or Chapel Hill. I'm not trying to impress people with it. I more just want to feel good listening to music because that is one of my more favorite things to do with soccer and video games being a couple of hobbies of mine.

Still got more work to do.
Well, I've been asked: Now what? That is a good question. I'm still trying to play soccer so training with be an important thing for me. Plus I am 23 years old, I'm pretty sure that I'm going to have to find some sort of steady part-time work so I can make some coin and not slog around the house all day and night. It gets boring after a while and like I've said in previous post that it's very hard asking parents for money even though I'm not asking for much. So that's another thing. I have to look for teams to tryout for or teams that are in need of players. I'll never know what will happen so I have to keep my eyes and ears open you know.



The experiences will hopefully make for a better person on my part. I was having a conversation with a good friend yesterday who wasn't feel the best about his time outside the U.S. Of course there will be hard times and there will be times you have to do things that you don't expect to do. I mean I think I'm getting better because I'm doing a bit of the little things now. I actually made up my bed today, which shouldn't be an accomplishment but I never did it when I was home because more than likely about a couple of hours later, I'll be right back at that spot so I might as well save the trouble of making it and having it ready for me. Being in NZ, I wasn't forced to make my bed but I felt as if that would be a good thing to do especially since the family was kind enough to let me stay in their house. So I made my bed for them. Also clearing things in my room, that's another thing I hardly use to do because I either didn't feel like doing it or I forgot that I should clean up the mess that I make.

One other thing that I'm learning to get use to is not to be upset over the little stuff in my life. Things happened like not finding a job, at times not having enough money to pay for the hostel that me and Greg lived in, and just feeling out of place and not wanting to go home. Those are the things that you have to get over because you made the sacrifice to get over here. It would be selfish of myself to end a trip without completing the season because I'm sad over things. Me and Greg overcame these things and I think Greg can testify to this too that it made us better people. Now what does that have to do with things over on this side? It has helped me become a better person because I try better not to sweat over small stuff anymore. Most of my previous frustration while I was here was because I felt like people ignored me or didn't want to hang out. That's small things compared to hardly being able to pay for rent and having to sprint to the Western Union (yeah they had those) and getting it paid in time, also having a soccer game right after that. So I think I'll be good if you "ignore me", I'm not going to be concerned about you supposedly feeling sorry for me.

I think that's it from me. I didn't think I would get this far on this post. I'm still dealing with the time difference as it's almost 5am Monday morning in Greenville, NC. And it's about 10pm in Auckland and I know I would be awake at this time. So I think I'm going to stay up, get a work out in and hopefully I can make it through the rest of the day so I can finally get adjusted to the time again. Other than that the nonsense will continue!

It's about that time I say farewell.

New Zealand, It's been real. I loved my time here and I most definitely enjoyed the experience. I've had my ups and downs emotionally here but overall it was great to feel those feelings. It makes you understand how to work when you aren't feeling your best and to snap out of any worries that you feel.

The football was decent enough. I was luckily to play on a great team so that made everything much easier for me. And the fact that all the guys were great was even more enjoyable. Most of the other teams we played didn't have any style to their game. They wanted to either just pump balls over the top or play roughhouse tactics which really didn't work too well against us. We only lost one game all year and unfortunately it was the Chatham Cup Final. I'm sure that everyone of us learn a lot from that game and we took it into our final game and clinched the league.

I'm kinda at a lost for words. I feel like it's my time to head back home however I know that I'm going to miss a lot of great people over here. They made this journey a memorable one that I'll probably never forget. I can't honestly say that there's any one person that I can't stand or dislike they've all made me comfortable in many different ways. Gave me shit for my accent and all but even if it upset me at the time I knew they were just having fun with me.

It'll be good to get home. I can finally refresh my mind and refocus on what I want to do next season and that is play soccer. It won't be as easy as I would like it to be but I plan on working as hard as I possibly can to make this goal. Also I have to figure things to do when I'm back home. I remember everything I did before I left for New Zealand. I understand that it won't be the same when I get back. There has been a lot of change of people and especially in Chapel Hill where about I probably won't know about 55 to 60% of people who live there now. (I didn't know that many to begin with). So I guess I have to find a "crowd" in my age range and that'll be somewhat hard since I'm not the best at meeting people but I will definitely try. I might as well I don't have much else to lose by doing so.

Well, I don't really have much else to say. I don't think I find any more witty statements to make all I'm going to do is put a couple of links of some of my trip updates and such. As for those kiwi's that are reading this. I'll be out and about on Friday so maybe try to at least see me before I leave if you can, if not it's all good there's definitely no hard feelings on that. Farewell...

Past Trip Updates
Back on My B.S.
Right about now, I'll work for food
Splashing in a Mud Puddle
Uhh I guess a NZ Update
Live TV, Big Stadium, Big Crowd, and a Sunday Afternoon. What more can you ask for?



P.S. Oh By the Way, the journey ends, but the blog will never end. muahahahahaha!!!