Continuing to Try and Figure Myself Out

It is ridiculous how I feel whenever I have a day off. Yesterday, I had my day off to deal with a couple of matters that had to be tended to. After I was done, I caught myself being incredibly bored and sort of wishing that I was at work.

I know what you are thinking. This job isn't well-paid nor am I being a full-time worker but still even though I act cranky due to working 9 to 6 sometimes. I actually do not mind it at the end of the day in which the day is almost over. Then all I have to do now is either chores or watch tv (often I watch tv).

I think that is why I cannot wait to hold down a full-time job. Now I don't have any kids (that I know of), no girlfriend, and really no priorities except for bills that I will need to pay. I think it is something that I am actually looking forward to. Work during the week and possibly "play" during the weekends, it is an intriguing prospect.

Don't get it twisted that soccer isn't in the rear-view yet, however I am beginning to take a more realistic view about things on that front. If I can't find somewhere that I know people in high-places at this point in time, the whole soccer thing isn't going to happen more than likely. I actually rather play on this CASL Elite team that I am on. A bunch of guys like myself who if dedicated themselves could still play but are realistic about their chances and like to have fun off the pitch.

So what am I saying? Am I giving up my dream? Am I ready to wear a suit? No and No but I can see a bit clearly on what I need to do to become independent for myself and not have to rely on people. I need to rely more on myself than others or I would put myself in trouble as I have done in the past...