Thursday, February 26, 2009

The Nonsense III: Valencia- so you don't pay your players?

Warning to the casual reader: This is a footy(soccer) post, so if you have no desire of reading anymore than you should probably stop and I will try to be as clear as I possibly can. My B

The team I started supporting when they made two consecutive Champions League finals with the likes of Santiago Canziares, Gaizka Mendieta, and Claudio Lopez (who actually plays in the MLS with the Kansas City Wizards). It was a new and hip team to support for me, I didn't want to jump on the Man Utd bandwagon like everybody else did. None offense to them, I can't blame any of them because that's the team that we saw in the late 90s in the US since soccer wasn't shown predominantly during that time. Well that's not what I want to talk about anyways. I want to discuss the current situation here with Los Che. They are so far in debt that they aren't able to pay their players weekly wages. It's kinda strange that David Villa isn't getting paid his wages when he is one of the best strikers in the world right now.

The current credit crunch is hurting this club more than others. And then when you add the fact that they were trying to build a new Mestalla stadium it only amplifies the problems that this club has. Midway through February I read in that the club couldn't pay their players the weekly wages that they've earned. In an earlier post I said that I didn't think that they should sell star players like David Villa and David Silva but now it looks more than likely especially for the survival of this club that they should sell these key players. There will be an empty portion of my heart when they leave. And I have to follow my lil nigs Silva to where he goes when I play fifa because he drops ridiculous bombs on that game (yeah I brought up my 360). I think the club can survive without these two stars, it will be a rebuilding process and we shouldn't worry about making the Champions League for the next couple of years. We still have quality players coming up from the ranks. Mata, Manuel Fernandes, Pablo, Alexis, and Maduro for a few can hold down the ship for the team if we decide to sell both of our star players. My honest opinion I think if we make the Champions League this year, we should sell one, scrap the new stadium plans and just go with what we got. If disaster strikes and we miss out on a CL spot then more than likely both of them go. The pessimistic side of me says that both will go and that will be sad for me.

What is even more impressive about what the squad is doing, they are actually continuing to play while they aren't being paid. That's incredible. If I'm not being paid then what incentive do I have of going out there and playing the game? I mean these guys have already been paid real well to begin with but when you know the check isn't coming in then some guys end up turning off and not playing at all. Villa and Silva are still out there playing and they aren't doing what most premier league players would do, even players like Craig Bellamy, who plays for Manchester City now, would go on a temper tantrum to get out of his former club of West Ham and his money was still coming in. No telling what would happen if he didn't get a check at all. So I'll give it up to the players in that regard, However...

Now they are still playing but the performances have been subpar at best. It really looks like they don't really care. I know its easy for me to say sitting on my couch but the performances of earlier this season aren't matching with these. I can think that there's a correlation between what's going on with the club at the moment. They'll tell us that they will continue to play and they should be respected for that but I mean it doesn't matter how hard they play. What happens when they miss practice? You can't fine someone who you aren't paying. What you are going to fine with taking away their lunch privileges?? "If I can't eat, I'ma whoop somebody's ass" I feel bad for Unai Emery, the manager of the team, how can he motivate these guys? Now I know they should play for the love of the game but they have busted their asses to get where they're at and these players should be getting paid because they earned the right to play at the highest level. Now they are treated as Sunday league players, "there might be food after the game but we aren't sure.... Sorry (sarcasm)"

Hopefully the situation doesn't go to Adminstration or whatever the equivalent is in Spain (Adminstration is when any business gets to the point where it is no longer viable financially,the owners as a last resort can call in administrators.) because I don't know if I can handle one of my favorite teams going to the second division and being docked 10 points. I'm sure things will work out with these guys and they'll be back to where they belong. They may have to make some significant changes but the manager we have is qualified enough to hold the club's players together. Hey Vicente Soriano (the club's chairman), you won't give the boys per diem money.

I run for fun..Really?

Is it a bad thing that I am beginning to enjoy running now. I've been running either on a treadmill or outside (depending on the weather) everyday during the last couple of weeks. Normally when I think about running I try to find ways to talk myself out of it. Then I regret not doing it when it's too dark and I don't want to go to the treadmill. After my constant procrasination about it I end up feeling bloated and a waste of space for the rest of the day. So I started pushing myself to get off my couch, take the twinkie out my mouth, and go get a workout in everyday. Most definitely it was hard at first to get it done and I have a good reason to do it because I need to be fit for playing soccer and possibly running up and down the sideline playing outside back (getting my inner Patrice Evra on) or just being fit to run up and down whenever I please as it is. So at first it was mostly about that and nothing else, but now I automatically get up get some running clothes and run for 30-45 minutes and get on the iron gym for another 30 minutes to finish my workout and it has been helping slowly and surely. The last time I was on the pitch playing I didn't really feel tired at all and I coule have easily played another 30 minutes. The fun of going out with the ipod on and just jamming to the music while I put mileage on my feet and thinking about ish and actually motivating myself to push more than what I would do normally. So yeah nowadays I run for fun. Is there a problem with that?

Monday, February 23, 2009

Sometimes I have time for myself.

So right now, I'm at the part of the night where I woke up at 3am after heading to sleep at 12am and now I cannot get to sleep. I'm currently listening to music and watching Argentine soccer. I wanted to take a break from the nonsense and get back to myself for a minute. I've had lots of things to ponder for the last week and most of what I say turns into just babble so I'm not really concerned with that. However there are somethings that I'm concerned about with myself and listening to what people say and what they do has also helped me think more about stuff that otherwise I wouldn't think about.

There has been times where I look at myself and I just tell myself that I want to be in a relationship right now. I know it sounds pretty crazy. You see people all around you dealing with each other, loving each other, arguing with each other because they care enough about the other to do so (some exceptions hmm CB), but you just see couples that understand each other. I kind of want that. I haven't been in any sort of relationship in about a year or two. I love my space and all but I feel like I want somebody there to talk to or to hang out with whenever we wanted. I'm sorry I love my mom but I don't know if I want to sit through a movie with her everyday. Of course it takes work to do this, you have to find someone that has things in common with you and you also have to figure out if she's a psycho or not because that's a big checking point in all relationships, I mean I hope it is, otherwise you are going to be on the news for getting your dick chopped off or Chris Brown'in somebody. I had to use that at least once in my life. Then you have to figure out whether you would spend time with this person everyday, I'm not thinking marriage or anything but if you only want to spend time with someone some of the time, then I don't really think that is going to make for a good relationship. You have to want to be with that person even when you are gone from that person for a while, you still call each other and text each other to make sure one or the other is alright.

The problem lies in the fact that I do not have anyone in mind for this "relationship adventure". There's noone that I'm like "hey I want you to be my girlfriend". No clue, there are women that are good-looking I know I've seen a few of them around but there hasn't been anyone that I want to take it further with. The one I did...I don't think that's going to work out she's cool being friends from a distance. So that's not going to fly, not trying to alienate anyone else on my life journey right at this moment at least. Maybe it is the fact that I sit around my apartment doing hardly anything with my life. I don't go out and see people nor do I interact with anyone when I'm not doing school or any type of work. So it's kind of easy to fall in the trap of not having anyone to think about. Of course I think about women in general but there's not that one person that's one my mind. It's weird because I've been listening to r&b love songs lately and more than likely if I am listening to them then I'm thinking about a particular person. Well no, I still listen to it but there's no one that comes to mind when I listen. It still calms me down but there's nothing. It's kind of hard to have a relationship when you aren't thinking about anybody. I mean I can have a relationship with myself. "I just love myself" *hugs self* Yeah I hugged myself.

"You got me having a heart attack."

All that being said, I can still do my normal two step and do the things that I've been doing. I've learned from my 23 years of living that I have to roll through the punches and take on the life that I'm living. I don't need to make major adjustments to myself just do some things different that will make me feel happy about myself. And if someone makes me feel happy and they feel the same about me, then I'll sure bring them into my life whether it's being a friend or being somebody more. As long as I don't beat myself if things don't go my way, I have to keep living.

"I'm so high, I don't wanna come down."

Friday, February 20, 2009

The Nonsense II: A-Rod

Alright I told myself that I was going to leave him alone, however he decided not to leave me alone and while I'm waking up they are talking about A-Rod and how what he was taking isn't legal in the Dominican Republic (what? there's stuff that's not legal there? wow!) and also he has been involved with a trainer who is banned in MLB because of steroids. A-Rod since you can't leave me alone on my TV. I'm going in on you (um no kanye)

Did you really think that we wouldn't find out anything else about your steroid episode. "Oh I was young, naive, and stupid." The only thing you got right there is stupid. Stupid enough for us to believe that you didn't know what you were doing. I knew something was fishy when you said that you can get some injection drugs over the counter. Which counter were you looking at? What?over the counter at your cousin's crib? Also you weren't naive enough to take $250 mil from the Rangers/Yankees. How come you just didn't tell us what all you took? I mean you could have left little holes in your statement. Not these big holes like injections over the counter and thinking that it didn't do anything to you or the fact that you don't really think that you cheated. Hey Hey Hey, you know when you take performance enhancing drugs you know you're cheating right? I mean it's called performance enhancing for a reason. I mean if you wanted to keep your legacy you probably shouldn't have done it in the first place. I mean you don't have much of a legacy as it is. Okay you perform in the regular season (during the first 6 innings of games that is), but how is your postseason performances treating you Sir. Even Barry Bonds has had poor postseasons, but he had one postseason to remember, when he carried his team almost to the World Series but they blew it in the final innings of Game 6 against the Angels and just got blown away in Game 7. Although Barry Bonds is a steroid user according to the people and most everybody else, nobody now calls him a choke in the postseason ever since that performance. So A-Rod here's your turn if you want to turn your "legacy" around, stop beating around the bush and stop choking on your bat in the final innings of games and the postseason.

During his two interviews that he's had, he wanted us to make him out as the victim. Victim of what? What could you possibly be the victim of? You bring all of your drama to yourself. Lying to people about your steroid use. "When I lied to Katie Couric, I was telling lies to myself to begin with." Come on man, don't make us out as fools on this one. Even your teammates don't necessarily believe you, they just have to stand by you so they don't have to answer questions about not being there for you. "I wish I went to college for a couple of years." Huh? That's a terrible excuse, many baseball players skipped college and they turned out just fine with their careers, also many players have went to college and they turned out to mess up also and you being the most expensive player in the MLB should know the ropes by your seventh year in the big leagues. "I've been dealing with all this trouble over the last 15 months with my divorce also." Hey that's your fault, I mean you decided to get caught hanging out with other girls (dancers, strippers) and Madonna of all people. I'm sorry if I have a beautiful wife at home. I'd be damn if I messed that up over some nonsense and I don't even look that good. And Madonna? Isn't she like 50? Did she roofie you or something? That must be what happened because after the amount of guys she's been with, I'm afraid I might catch something looking at her on the tv. Ewww Yuck

Well I'm about to go. A-Rod, I don't want to see you on ESPN unless it's for hitting a monster home run or making a sick fielding play other than that, stay away! or I will have to find you and take one of your bats and go to town on your head until you can become "wise and intelligent"

All opinions are reflected by...... (you know what it is) Enjoy your weekends

Thursday, February 19, 2009

The Nonsense I: Nick Jr.

Yes this is what we are talking about. The group of shows that come on during the weekdays from 9am to around 1pm. I didn't really notice anything about these shows when I was young because I didn't know better. It's like all kinds of other shows or networks. For example Disney, have you ever seen a black person on one of those old school cartoon movies? I know there was a group of crows on Dumbo and I believe it was James Earl Jones who played the king Lion on the Lion King (um I think) What I am trying to say is that Nick Jr. is one of the most racists group of shows that I've seen. Dora the Explorer, the Backyardigans, and Ni Hao Kai Lan are the prime examples of what I am talking about. If I was a Nick Jr. representative I would say that well we are trying to get a new demographic. I'm not a parent (I hope not to be for a while also) but if I was and I was Asian or Hispanic I would be deeply insulted by some of the nonsense that Nick Jr. comes out with. That Ni Hao Kai Lan is the worse of the worst. It is basically Dora the Explorer Asian version and having a darn tiger. I'm surprise that tiger isn't a dragon instead. Maybe I am missing something here. I mean they do kind of talk about different cultures and maybe kids should learn about it. However I feel the same way about this that I do about black television shows back in the day. All your "actors" or "cartoon characters" are minority than you have white writers and producers for the most part who try to portray what they think the minority communities are like and I can't blame them for all that's wrong with the cartoons however they just don't know the cultures foreal. They know from what they've seen on TV and what they might have seen when they were tourist, but they don't know a lot about the cultures that they try to give out to the children and it could be midly insulting those who are in the Hispanic, Asian, or African American communities. I don't know I'm just saying. Calm down with "Go Diego Go" why you trying to make Diego go. Tell boy to chill out for a change.

The misguided info that has been put up here are a reflection of Andre Sherard and Andre Sherard only and none of these views necessarily are reflected by blogger and any of its counterparts.

It's only the beginning hahaha

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

If I was a kid...

I would not be listening to Alex Rodriguez talking to me about how steroids are bad for you. Note the fact that he can't even explain to us that he actually cheated, he is just the wrong person going around the country telling everybody how bad steroids is. For that matter I wouldn't listen to anybody who took steroids telling me that I shouldn't take them. Rafael Palmeiro, Mark McGwire,even though he hasn't said he took it but we believe he did, even Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds wouldn't get my attention. How could you possibly listen to anybody who's taking steroids. It's like listening to a murder telling you that murder is bad. Well it didn't stop you from murdering somebody. Think about going to the grocery store and seeing your mom steal a couple of grapes, candy or use a little bit of lotion that you didn't buy, then them telling you that it isn't okay to steal, Okay mom what about those grapes you took from the grocery store? Technically you stole them right? Also I would not want to hear somebody like A-Rod who is in the prime of his career telling me how bad steroids is especially when we see that he had his best years as a pro during that three year span averaging 50 home runs a year and winning an MVP in 2003. I'd rather hear somebody who has had a bad experience due to steroids, I don't want anybody having anything happen to their children and etc but that's what would go to heart to me rather than a self-absorbed superstar who is more worried about his legacy than what we thought to begin with.

Especially if I was a future baseball player, I would like to hear from the Roy Oswalts and Jamie Moyers telling me how they have made it to the pros and have had successful careers through hard-work and dedication. Telling me that I don't need steroids to have my dreams come true nor will it help me in the long run. That is what kind of disappoints me about some baseball players they are more worried about being perceived as clean than teaching children why steroids and performance enhancing drugs are wrong. If you are clean then you don't have to prove anything to anybody, you know in your heart that you did the right thing. I'm sure there are players who go around telling everybody that steroids is wrong (I'm not saying that Oswalt and Moyer aren't one of them, they were just some of those who lambasted A-Rod). Those are the players I'd rather hear from other than A-Rod.

On another note separate from the post: Let's just end this A-Rod talk already. We all know that we can't believe what he is telling us. However he has a lot of other things to worry about other than newspapers and other media outlets telling him that's he's wrong. He has to worry about teammates that from most of everything I've heard don't like him at all. A New York fanbase that won't take his nonsense and him coming up small in the late innings. I know the talk won't stop and he will continue to be asked these questions but I feel like it'll be overkill. He told us that he took it and if there's more out there, then eventually it will come out and his legacy will take a bigger hit.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Getting "Out of Tune" with my Star Player

What is wrong with you? You sit around your apartment all day long doing hardly much of anything. You don't have any friends. Nobody wants to really talk to you unless out of pity and you force them to talk to you. You're on this computer all day looking at other people and see how they are doing and seeing how happy they are without you. I hope it makes you feel bad inside. You can feel sorry for yourself but I truly doubt that anyone will give you a second thought. So you can go around telling everybody how lonely you are and how you want somebody but you are going to have, well not force yourself upon anyone, to take initiative and try to make new friends. I know you will still fail at that but at least you can say that you tried it out and go back to your cave and play video games. I want you to know that nobody thinks that you're cool because you're sick at FIFA. In fact that makes my point that you are a bigger nerd than ever. You can go up to anybody and be like, "yo, have you ever seen my fifa game? it is so tight." I hope you don't really talk like, I mean if you do your parents might disown you. There are a lot of things wrong with you and I don't even have to talk about your appearance. I'll keep that to myself right now and let you think everything I said over.

Yo, I just wanted to write a little something just to stay on my track on being different in my blog posts. This is some of the negative thoughts that come to my head whenever I feel lonely and people not wanting to hang out with me. Most of the things that happen probably have to do with some of my own insecurities. I think that I know what people think and I should stop that because I have no clue what anyone thinks and I would be mad if somebody tries to tell me what I thought without further talking to me. So I don't know if people don't want to hang out with me or I alienate people. I mean I still might but I can't really go on blasting people individually because I don't know and I am just not the guy to go off on anyone because whether I feel like they've treated me wrong or not I would feel bad for on-loading on them like that, however if I hate them (which isn't many people) then I wouldn't feel too bad. I've been trying to stay in tune with myself lately however the doubts creep back into my mind when somebody doesn't call me when they should or someone I think should talk to me doesn't. It haunts me for a few minutes until I realize that I don't have any control of what they say or do. Maybe it is just an out of sight out of mind deal where they just forgot I existed or thought that I was somewhere else. Well I can dispute the latter of the two but I'm not going off ranting here. I've actually learned what not to do so I wouldn't alienate people and realize that if I'm suppose to be friends then we'll be friends if not I can't force somebody to be friends with me. I mean I can ask them how they are doing and hope they are safe and well but I can't get someone to hang out with me or have lunch with me if they just don't want to. And that's cool, it took me a long while to wrap all this around my head and now I'm just content with who I am and friends come and go all I know is I'm going to still be here and my best friends will still want to hang out with me.

However Aaron isn't one of them. HAHAHA

Monday, February 16, 2009

Solitary Confinement

Well, I didn't get any call or email today about last weekend which isn't the end of the world I guess. However I don't really want to talk about that now, I'm going to discuss my day at solitary confinement after getting home at 10am. I took a long nap and then wondered if I was ever going to get back up because I had to clean a little bit of the apartment because it was most definitely looking rough. So once I was able to get up I went took the trash out, swept the kitchen floor and cleaned some of the dishes. I know right what's going on with me? Afterwards I had my lab book out for some reason and that made me think about doing my lab assignment before it's due on Thursday. Yeah I'm trying to avoid the procrasination that rules my life. So I got it done. It was a simple assignment, identify the rocks (yes geology) and then talk about volcanic hazards. I got that done within 30 minutes. Then I went on my espn run watching Around the Horn and Pardon the Interruption. After that it was video game time and took a break from the computer. It was a very useful thing to do because I would end up getting on FB or Twitter and just do nonsense or look at people's updates. So taking a two to three hour break from the computer was very relaxing. (However I'm back to my addiction)

I would say solitary confinement because I was able to talk to people. Even if I talked to people for a little bit. However I haven't had any of the social interaction that I once use to crave. It's difficult not seeing people at times. You sometimes forget what things you say to people. I always tell myself, who did I tell that I was going to give them shoes for example. I wouldn't give up shoes anyways but it's some of the things that I would forget when I don't leave the apartment. I am usually jumpy and wanting to do something, but today it was a bit different. I was content to watching tv and cleaning my place. I know though that during the week I am going to become restless and want to hang out with people are just chat with people. So I think I may go to Borders or Barnes and Noble and just sit down and do some much needed reading or maybe do some work for my classes. Seeing people always seems to brighten my day also so whenever I can get out of the house and see people, no matter how ridiculous or boring they are, it is a pretty good day. As of now, I think I am going to camp out on this couch maybe play some fifa soon and end my day probably watching some soccer too. Peace

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Single's Awareness Day

I'm not going to lie, I really want to go to a nice five star restaurant while a happy couple is on their Valentine's Dinner and toss the dinner on the ground and say F Valentine's Day. Listen does there really need to be a day like this. Isn't there enough days.. Anniversaries? Birthdays? Jesus's Day? I mean is there really any need for Valentine's Day? It is dedicated to a special someone. I hope you dedicate every day to your special someone, what are there some days in which you say, "F them, I ain't going to do shit for you. I am going to sit around and make them do stuff for me." So remember if you see me around and you are a couple, you might want to watch your back because I might rob you so you don't waste any more money on more gifts that will just be left in a jewelry box.

Alright I'm done with my fake rant. Honestly I don't really care about being single on Valentine's Day. I don't have to waste my mom's money (what?) and I feel like if you need this day to do something real special for someone I have to worry about your relationship. I'd rather do something for somebody on a day where nothing's going on. No birthday, No anniversary, you aren't cheating on them, just go out have dinner or buy her some roses to say that I'm thinking of you and I love you. That will do much more than doing it on a day where you are suppose to do it. However it is understandable that you need to do something special for this day but just remember that you love that person everyday and they deserve to be treated special even when it isn't truly necessary to do so. So have fun, enjoy your Valentine's with your favorite person or people, treat each other well and I won't rob you. Well not yet at least :P

Friday, February 13, 2009

Friday Nighting It!

This is a college type of Friday Night that I am expressing. because I know some of the things that I say, most of you are too old for some of this nonsense or too young for that matter

6pm: Friday Night is coming! Everyone is starting to make plans with the people that they plan on hanging out with or they are getting ready to work at the bars/clubs as bartenders, bouncers, and bar backs. People are getting ready to head out to dinner, maybe going to Los Pos (Los Pos was the first thing I can think of at the moment). Also they are checking their bank accounts to see whether they are going to be able to pull out enough money for the weekend.

8pm: People have started eating. They are talking about what exactly is the plan for tonight and also how taxing their weeks have been and they were more than ready to go out and have a good time. They stay a bit longer than a hour just to shoot the breeze and talk all kinds of nonsense. Others might just had dinner at Top of the Hill and decided to start off their night there and just stay for a couple of more hours waiting for other friends to come around.

9:30pm: Everybody starts to get together and the pregaming starts. Everybody plays all kinds of drinking games to pass the time before they go out to the bars. You have beer pong, f the dealer, Shoulders, among others. Other people might just want to chill and enjoy their beers so they find a somewhat silent place and talk more about life or crack jokes on each other. Then you have those who just want to get f-ed up as quickly as possible. So they get a bottle of Jack Daniels, Southern Comfort, the Vodka of their choice, and of course everyone's favorite TEQUILA! and just take shot after shot to get themselves blasted before they head out to the bar/club.

(I wasn't going to add this and then you have one of your friends texting "Titties and Ass", yeah I'm bringing it up because I ain't there to see the said statement)

11pm or 12am: People are getting f-ed up like I said and most are wanting to get to the bars or if they are in their dancing mood then they want to head up to the club and get their dance on. They either find a ride with someone who they think is "sober enough to drive" (dangerous game) or they just tough it out and walk up town which most everyone does, it takes them a while to get up their because people are being foolish but they get up there. The fun keeps on going here. Where everybody else meets up, people that you didn't have over for pregame but they made it out. You proceeded to shot-taking and just drinking more beer if you wish.

1am: By this point, if you have been drinking consistently for three to four hours then you are pretty smashed and your legs start to give way, whether it is to dancing or just plain falling on your ass. If you want to dance and the place where you are at doesn't have a dance floor of any kind, then you try to go find the nearest club or bar with a dance area on it to get your groove on. Men and women alike are trying to find people to dance with and at least have a good time with for 30 minutes at the least. Men and women sometimes have different goals for their night and sometimes they have the same. If you know what I'm saying.

2am-3am: Bars and clubs are closed. Bouncers and managers are tying to get rid of the drunkards who still wants to stay however everyone ends up leaving. Then the urge for late night food comes for most everybody. They try to find the restaurant that they want to eat at. Most of them are pretty packed because everyone is trying to grub out. Once they order and get their food, they eat and talk about tonight's activities and how much fun everyone had. Most are dead tired and others are actually in the mood to keep on going and they'll end up have late-night drinking because they have enough beer to do so.

While all this is going on, I slip into my fridge get some food. Contently sit down on my chair while listening to music, I pick up the sticks, turn on the 360 and I just get to singin while I play.

"My name is Weezy, i almost perfect AND i work harder than hard working."

Now I outlined your night out and you just saw my night in. I hope you guys have a goodie :)

Thursday, February 12, 2009

What would you do?

You see this fine young lady across the way at the coffee shop. She might not be fine to everyone else. They might have a different view of this woman but to you this woman is a 10 and no one is going to stop you from thinking otherwise. She has dark hair, brown eyes, and she is wearing glasses to give that intelligent look that I love so much. Now you're thinking how can I break the ice and talk to her. She is currently reading now and I don't want to distract her from reading. I'm sure that she has left where she was to find some peace in here and get some reading done. Even if she doesn't care about being distracted, is she going to be down for you? or is she going to give you that look when someone sees a bug? No one wants that to happen to them, then it is like well um, I should leave you alone. What should I say? Should I be slick and come up with some line that might serenade her or should I just go up say hi and just be myself a person that you feel that would be enjoyable to hang out with sometime, go to a movie or just talk about things and maybe after a while she might become into you. Do you really want to do this though? I mean I've been having numerous problems with rejection and this might be another one that I don't want to deal with. However I am trying to get rid of this problem because it will happen more often than not. I have to do this, if I don't, I don't know the next time I would ever meet somebody like this. And if she says no and rejects me and if I can handle it then it would be much easier asking someone out and not worrying about laying in bed for days wondering what I did wrong. You know what.....

"Hi, my name is Andre, How are you......."

Who is your valentine?

Now those who have special love ones are going to celebrate Valentine's Day on Saturday. I've only spent one Valentine's Day with a special someone in all of my 24 years of celebrating this day with somebody (even though most of those I didn't know better). And this one will be no different. I will still in my place, read more of Crime and Punishment, and probably playing fifa. I am not going to come out here and berate Valentine's Day because that isn't fair to those fortunate ones that actually have people to spend time with and celebrate their Valentine's Day. Even the ones that will find "temporary Valentines" on their Saturday night out I cannot really blame them. We all want somebody to love and somebody that loves us. It is pretty much human nature for us to do that. If not then we start to develop problems and start doing bad things like stealing or murdering people.

Me? I'm not going to kill anybody but I'm not really feeling any "love" from anybody. That's not saying that everyone hates me. It's more to the fact that I have the feeling that I don't have someone that wants to spend time with me. I don't really know what to do about. The thing is that I am not too angry about this nor am I going to force being someone's Valentine if they don't want to. I know how to be alone. I can say that I am a pro at it. However I am at least sort of at peace with myself. I am not going to push myself on anyone nor am I going to be too mad if I cannot find a Valentine. It is what it is, I'll find somebody sometime. Hopefully in the near future. Umm Hopefully?

I'm going to keep my post from now on short and simple because whenever I go past my parameters I end up being ADD and totally forgetting what I'm talking about and end up deleting the post that I thought was going to be a goodie. So enjoy, I'll hopefully make the posts make sense for you all :)

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Responsibilities and Controlling the anger/ handling bein rejected

Do you have that feeling that you know that you definitely need to become more responsible of things you do? When you don't feel that responsibility you feel somewhat invisible, careless, and also depend on others to do what you can do yourself. Well, I am beginning to have these feelings more and more with every passing day. It is just the little things, like making your bed or just cleaning after yourself, taking out the trash (which I need to do tomorrow, they are stacking up on my patio, it's only two trash bags.) And other things like watching my car, I can't keep on laying in bed all day and expect things to come to me, I have to do things for myself. I'm use to depending on people to get information for me or to do things in general. I have to make sure that I think of myself and be responsible for what I do because let's be honest I'm going to go through hard times and I can't have the help of others around me to do it for me. I'm going to have to stop my lazy characteristics and do things that I would not normally do. It isn't a problem to be laid back and relax sometimes but however there are times where you need to focus in on things. And when you begin to take on some of the responsibilities in your life, things go along much easier.

I am a calm person for the most part, I don't really try to pick fights or seriously instigate anything. However, I do get angry sometimes and it turns me into somebody who wants other people to feel sorry for them because somebody doesn't like me or doesn't call me. Sometimes I don't think that maybe people forget things, or maybe they aren't there to talk to you, or maybe they just don't want to talk to you. For me, I don't deal with rejection real well. It angers me a lot when I get rejected for something or just felt like I was "being ignored". I don't deal with all that well, so what I decide to do is write subliminal messages on facebook or twitter to deal with it. A couple of things about that:
1) That is a stupid way to go about things, find somebody that I can actually have a conversation and wants to have a conversation with me. And deal with it that way. I really shouldn't put all my business out for me to see (hmm I am writing a blog however)
and 2) People are going to think you are crazy for writing these "mad statuses" on your facebook. Nobody is really going to want to talk to you after some nonsense like that.
So if I begin to get angry, I shouldn't really go on facebook and tell my business to other people like they are going to help because most of them are not going to know how to help me and the other part is the others just don't plan care, they just like having friends on facebook no matter if they know them are not. I believe one of the reasons why I do get on facebook and tell my business is that I feel like hardily anybody knows me and knows how I tick. I can go for days and days without even leaving the place or having someone to talk to. So I feel like I'm angry and I want other people to know because I am not the kind of guy that blows up on a group of people unless I'm really really angry and that happens when I'm usually rejected somehow. So I am trying to manage myself with rejection that I receive because there will be a lot of them. I just have to make sure that I don't put all my business out for everyone to see. I should talk to my parents and my real good friends who I know will listen when I have beef with something. That'll take one day at a time too, but hopefully I'll survive and being rejected won't be the end of the world for me.

I decided to break down these two issues that come up in the life of dre and I hope that I can break these walls down, they are actually being cracked right now, well except for the facebook thing yesterday, shouldn't been allowed on a computer but people were wildin out so I had to do somethin. Luckily I have a great network of people who care about me enough to listen to at least some things I have to say, even though one of them is across the world and others live two hours away and such. Hmm, Oh well I'll make it work

Thursday, February 5, 2009


I must admit.....I like a little Pearl Jam in my life. This punk rock music really amps me up before a soccer game. I don't listen to Lil Wayne or Jay-Z anymore. I also like bands like the All-American Rejects and Fallout Boy. Their sound just sucks me in. And while I am admitting everything to you. I like some country. Some Keith Urban, Toby Keith...all that too.

I denounce all hip hop because it is all the same to me. I can't tell the difference between Soulja Boy and Talib Kweli. I mean one talks about educated nonsense and one talks about nonsense. I'll give you a hint: I've learned a lot about a donk these last few days. They are all just clicks and whistles to me. People spelling ish out. "I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T, do you know what that means" Oh congratulations you can spell for a change. You also have correctional officers claiming to be the BOSS. I know the real Rick Ross was actually from California, who is this character from Miami......WILLIAM. You have big lip 30 year olds talking about they are young Hov. When you reach 30, you can't say you are young anymore and stop creeping up on Lebron's nuts please. And Lil Wayne, how did you get that baby to put a tear in his eye on your last album. Ridiculous.

I also cannot stand R&B. You have guys like Usher talking about cheating on his fianceƩ/wife or whomever because he likes all the women, make up your mind either marry and settle down or get up on all the ladies. John Legend over here evolving and shit. I just don't get it. R Kelly continuing to pee on people. Is this your representation of R&B. Jamie Foxx, who are you? Are you a comedian? Are you an Actor? or are you a musical? You aren't allowed to be all three. Mary J Blige, who is Letanya Blige???? Sister? Daughter? Mother????

Hehehehehe. These is just jokes. Calm down, I love my r&b, rap/hip hop, and Soulja Boy is definitely not in the same atmosphere as Talib Kweli.

P.S. Oh and "I get it in!"

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

I babble for fun :)

I don't have anything interesting for you. I am sure you want me to rant and rave about something. Quite frankly I have nothing. I am very content with myself right now and I can't really get my thoughts about anything to talk about. It is a real strange feeling to have. Have not really had my thoughts about anything or anyone of any importance. It has just been like I've been asleep all this time. I go on facebook and I don't really feel like "making hardly new friends". Even though I said in an resolution that I will try not to speak to those people and try not to force people into being my friends. I'm done with that. I've met cool people the last couple of weekends. They were fun to hang out with and I'm glad that I got to meet them and such. School has been okay. I need to get books, notes, figure out who is in my group, and finish my lab. However it is no biggie. Training has been good, I went out today and worked on my foot quickness and dribbling. Also did some much needed fitness afterwards.....

Alright I am done bunching everything together and expecting you to read that nonsense. Things are actually fine with me, I just haven't had the strength to go away from my 140 character limit in a while (referring to twitter if you don't know). There is actually a couple of people in my thought process but as of now I plan on keeping to myself because I find myself often stressing over nonsensical things like that. Then I'll either find them on facebook or message them trying to see what they are doing. After a while, I just seem like a dumbass and end up feeling sadder than before and I don't want that because everything is going good with me. Well except for the parents but that's a different story altogether that I don't want to get into.

My second round of tryouts is next weekend (Valentine's Day; oooo I just figured out the next thing I can talk about). I am not really that nervous about. I feel like that I am decently ready and I know that I can play. However I just don't know what the coach would want from me. That is the only nerve-racking thing that comes to mind. I can play well at center back however what if he does not want a center back anymore. So now I might have to give it a try at outside back, which really isn't a problem anymore because all of last summer I played the position and got quite use to it. Also I've been doing more and more ball-work and touches to make sure that things go smoothly but I just don't want the thought of not being able to play soccer for a long while because I love to play and I believe that I can play at a high level. If I didn't I would have given it up by now and I don't want to do that.

Productivity is the theme for this week. Going to all of my classes, doing the necessary training for these upcoming tryouts, and getting some more reading done. I picked up Crime and Punishment a couple of days ago and I started reading it. It was the book I chose because all the books that my brother have are kinda science fiction and other types of nonsense. Plus the other books that were around, I didn't have the desire to read them because they were books that I had to read for school. Don't really want to deal with that nonsense anymore. So I picked up a book that I knew that I didn't read for class and that I thought would be interesting. "Rasko" (that's what I call him for short) reminds me a lot like myself. He talks to himself, he tries to avoid people as much as possible, and he is always rationalizing with himself of why he should do this or why he should do that. I've been trying to get out of those habits myself it is just strange to see a character like that who somewhat resembles yourself.

Alright I think I'm done with anything that I can talk about at the time. Hopefully I will have something to talk about other than Valentine's Day which I will go to war with when the time is right. For now, get on twitter and see what nonsense comes to my head on that...

Exercise your mind!!!

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Sunday, worth it or not?

The dreadful thought that the weekend is over. Sunday is the signal of this and the start of a new week is almost here. I don't know what to do really. Should I be lazy and watch tv all the time and just laying down. However if I do that then it would really be a waste of a day which I've been doing a lot lately and sometimes I feel as if I need to be productive and at least do something. Maybe it would be better if I was productive and clean around the house/room/ car. Start off the new week in a new slate and just make sure that everything is clean for the new week. Or you can get into your car and just drive around for a little bit. I know it may be a waste of gas but maybe you can just go out and find a park and sit there for a while. There are times where the mind needs to clear itself out and just start anew. That's a suggestion.

What's up with me?
I feel that it is unnecessary to talk about myself at the moment. I mean I haven't had anything going on with me personally and I don't want to comment on other people's lives so I will leave it as I am doing fine and trying to enjoy life. I have been on my twitter game recently. It is a better alternative than facebook because I feel like I just look at people's pages and it just tends to bore me at times and if I would write on my status on facebook, people would get upset or rage on about nonsense. I mean I don't really want to listen to what you have to say anyway, however it is a better excuse to not go on facebook and talk to people on twitter that I want to talk to and people that don't mind talking to me. So I am content with being myself on twitter. Also I feel like once I start talking about myself I end up talking about nonsense that makes me sad and I am not trying to do that right now. I've read previous post and just found myself really shaking my head and thinking "did I really say that?" Well that sounds real ridiculous to say. Blaming other people and ish when more than likely it is my fault for putting myself in situations that I use to put myself in. Now, I'm good I'm feeling better and trying to enjoy the life that is given to me and do ridiculous things to make the people in my life laugh because that's my mission in life haha.

"If I can't have you in the way that I want than I don't want nobody else, I'm selfish girl, so selfish girl."
-Mario- "Good News Bad News"

Those darn imaginary readers