I know what my problem is...kinda? maybe?

I've been in this country for over three months now. It's been good to the point where I can get away from all my perceived "troubles" back home but it's bad for the blog because I don't have these upset moments where I go to the blog and write about everything that I'm currently seeing and worrying about what's wrong with me.

You see I concern myself on trying to find someone. I feel like it's never them and it's always me. Then I begin to realize. What if I'm looking in the wrong places?? That's a good point. Maybe what I want isn't exactly what I need? That's something I'm going to have to re-organize about myself.

Then another question arises Who is the right person for me? Is it someone who is like me? Quiet, reserved for the most part, but always likes to have a good time? Or should I look for someone who is outspoken, cocky about themselves and such?

Most of these things confuse me. I know it isn't a perfect science finding a suitable mate who you want to spend time with. I see people all the time holding hands, hugging, or talking to each other and they seem (at least on the outside) to be a perfect match. Yeah I want that but also I don't really know exactly how to go about it. People say that women are attracted to confidence, however what if that person isn't attractive at all. Even if he is confident, you're not going to want to talk to them. You're just going to take the drink and "head to the bathroom"

I've been trialing and (mostly) erroring all kinds of "options" for the most part, it hasn't really worked. It's been a total failure most recently. It gets me down sometime but maybe there will be one. I'm not holding my breath about it but just maybe.

It's been easier nowadays because I haven't really been talking to people much. That statement might not sound right, but it sounds good to me. Not worrying about people I like and trying as best as possible not to talk to them is making me feel a bit better. This is maybe because they are probably the wrong woman for me. There have been times where I thought this person has my same characteristics and such but it ends up with egg on my face and making everything even much more awkward then it should be.

So I'll chill out, be myself and see what happens to me. There's a saying that things aren't going to just come to you. Well I've been going to things and that hasn't worked, so why not I just kick up my feet, put my hands on my head and not worry about it because when I was back home that was the source of my "unhappiness"





After re-reading this, people might say that I have it all wrong. Well maybe I do, but you don't see it through my eyes now do you? *click publish post*