Day 21 w/o car:

It is about 10:37pm and I'm sitting on the couch watching Top Gear on BBC America On Demand. After near tries at getting a car, I still don't have one. Bad luck after more bad luck has left me in the same predicament as I started on June 1. It is cool though. Three weeks later and now I am getting use to be around the apartment all the time and walking to places.



Last weekend we had a round robin tournament over two days. That means playing four games in two days. There were a couple of things I learned.

1) Never ever ever play in a tournament that I can't be bothered in playing in. I actually wanted to go out of town and get away from everything around Raleigh. The last week was kind of stressful at work. But I had really nowhere to go so I was kind of obligated to play which I regretted.

2) If I do play in a tournament like this, I am going to get fit so at least I won't feel like absolute crap for the two days after the tournament like I am now. I won't be playing any sort of organized footy unless it is pick-up. You can't get me out to a tournament. Well unless you are giving me some money. Ayyyeee

3) I guess I need to start the games maybe we won't lose to Clockwork because I didn't start the game. I don't think the reason why we lost was because I wasn't in. The team started flat and we could have salvaged the game anyways. Ah I guess an out-of-shape me is better than me not being at all right....uhhh right??



I've been walking to the bars downtown. It is about a mile from my house and it really isn't any trouble to get there at all. I have been getting use to being the bar by myself. There are times when people actually talk to me. I know it seems strange that people would come up and talk to me, well some do.

I really don't mind at all though. Honestly whenever I hang out with my boys in Chapel Hill, I kind of just check out and wander around. I guess that is always going to be me, wandering around aimlessly, drinking, and enjoying the night as is.



The social interaction that I've always craved is still there. I've been increasingly using the twitter machine to get my thoughts out there and to listen to others. It might be a bad thing because I am not having that face to face interaction that is needed (especially with the opposite sex).

Maybe it is cool if I just have a certain amount of solitude in my life. I need to be happy with myself before I can ever be happy with anyone else. Making others happy before yourself is never a healthy thing.


I am going to keep on improving myself and my well-being and then I will be out there for all the world to see. A new me and hopefully I will have a car in the process