Snapping Back into Reality

Lately, I have been having the strong urge to fill you guys in on my personal thoughts. Like why I haven't found someone special or feel like I have enough friends. However I tell myself: "No, These people do not need to know anything" I do have enough time in the day to let my mind just wander and think about what could have been and where I could have been. But I can tell you guys these things because hey, some people might feel the same way right?

The reality of things are that everything is harder than it seems, well maybe except for playing soccer or video games. Being as observant as I am, most people I know do not have much trouble doing anything. Being able to do anything they want, going on trips, finding almost any lady they can have, and just plain getting what they want. No jealously (well a little bit, I can't lie) but sometimes one has to make their own luck to get everything they wish for. I might have to work very very hard for luck to come my way. It isn't as if others don't but maybe I am not smart enough to have everything come to me.

I have always wanted the asshole gene. Sometimes I am too nice even if I am treated like shit. I want to just have that gene that just don't worry about those people instead of bringing them back in. I think that maybe they wouldn't be my friend if I ignored them so I say, "sorry" and let them hang out with me. I don't know what exactly can I do. Should I risk having no friends and being true to myself and not being gullible to those around me? or should I just do the same thing I've been doing and risk being hurt? The decision might be made for me. I might just have a moment where I might just snap and start just worrying about myself no matter how things work out.

My fantasy world is done and dusted. Just cause I think people like me, it doesn't mean that it is true. Snap back into Reality Dre, It's hard to trust many people these days...

The State of African Football

I was actually thinking about this post for a while. Especially after seeing Nigeria and Cameroon basically bowing out in the first round. And Ghana, more than likely, being the only African representative left in this tournament. However there were a couple of respectable managers who beat me to the punch of why African Football is so close but yet so far.

When there are players like Michael Essien, Didier Drogba, and Samuel Eto'o, you wonder why exactly has there not been an African team who hasn't won the World Cup. Roger Milla from Cameroon was one of the first in 1990 to break through and make it to the Quarterfinals, but other than that and Senegal and in 2002, no team has broken through and made it into the Semifinals or Finals. Even an South Korea, from Asia, has made an semifinals. You have to think why haven't these talented players have yet to make it until the pinnacle of World soccer

Well there is hardly any stability in the African game. I watched ESPN's coverage of the World Cup and Ruud Gullit made a great point in saying that many of the African teams have a manager who have been with the team for only three months except for the Algerian team. And that isn't enough time to establish your values and tactics on a team. Cameroon and Ivory Coast are made examples. Paul Le Guen and Sven Goran Erikson didn't have a chance because these players have been use to a certain manager but then when they come into this situation and try to install their system, the players can't get use to it like that. And then the managers turn it like this: "okay, they aren't going to win anyways, let's collect the paycheck and go on with our business" And that is exactly what's happening right now. Most of these teams aren't going to make it out of the first round and the coaches are leaving out top players because they don't "fit their system"

The important thing that is keeping African football back is their discipline. How many times have u seen from an African keeper bad goalkeeping? Or a rash tackle that shouldn't be made? Or opportunities that they should have put away but they did not? Ghana isn't much organized and discipline as the other teams, they just benefited from the other teams mistakes. (They have only scored two goals this World Cup and both have been PKs) You can see the skill from these players, they know how to play football. However they still make those mistakes that makes you scratch their heads and the goalkeepers are basically amateur goalies trying to impersonate pros. Until all these players receive the right training, they will still continue to falter when you think they should be better.

I don't think that the continent of Africa needs to do a lot of work. All they need to do is stick with a manager no matter if it is good or bad. Tweak the way they are learning these kids how to play football so they can be the best possible footballers they can be. And just relax and play football bc they do know how to play the game, it's just a matter if they can play it effectively...

Let's Go boys!!!!

For once, millions and millions around this country will be watching this game at pubs, in their houses, or at work. And if work won't let you watch the game, then they will be receiving text messages or constant updates.

We still probably won't be a soccer nation but we don't want this love affair to end just yet, especially with our come from behind tie (should have been a victory) against Slovenia. Even people who I know don't support soccer are finding places to watch the game. You would have not found such energy in 2006 or even in 2002 when we made it to the Quarterfinals.

We face Algeria in just under two hours. We need all of the support we can get. Hopefully Bob Bradley doesn't get the tactics wrong nor do we under-estimate our opponents. Algeria will be a decent team and if you can hold England to a nil-nil draw then you are doing well for yourself.

So everyone get your National Team jerseys/ shirts, paint yourself red/white/and blue, get your chants ready, and hopefully be ready to enjoy the next two hours because whether you think so or not. The boys need every single one of us more now than ever...

The FFF has got this all wrong

(The bold is the added part of this original piece and probably the biggest reason why everything in France has went to shit)

If you have been living under a rock and not paying any attention to what is going on in the World Cup, you would know that the French national team is on the brink of anarchy (if it hasn't hit that point yet).

They've tied and lost their first two games between Uruguay and Mexico respectively. And they haven't even had a sniff on goal. With that Nicolas Anelka was axed from the side because of a tirade between him and their outgoing manager Raymond Domenech.

Yesterday, the team refused to train because of the decision to send Anelka home which caused Technical Directors to quit and fitness trainers to question the French players committment. Along with other in-fighting like William Gallas being jealous of Patrice Evra being captain. Franck Ribery and Yoann Gourcuff going at it in an airplane. And leading players not passing the ball to other teammates and campaigning other players to play.

One would think after hearing all this that all the blame would be shouldered on the players. However the whole Federation at large has to have some blame in this instance. With their handling of a manager that the players don't respect and the fact that they have already named a new manager after this tournament. They have got this all wrong.

I have said this hundreds and hundreds of times. How Raymond Domenech has kept his job this long is a mystery to me? He has not shown any of the qualities of a manager who knows what he is doing. And during matches, he looks like a statue. When there are managers like Diego Maradona, who looks like a cheerleader out there but still is getting his team into the second round of this tournament. There should be no reason why a team laden with talent should not be able to do the same.

I understand that after the 06 World Cup that he had "earned" (even though I think they got to that final in spite of Domenech) the right to carry his team into the Euro 2008 tournament. I believe that is when everything unraveled for this once proud footballing country. That is where constant in-fighting was a regular and they stumbled out of the tournament not even making it out of the first round. They could not even get a win against Romania who were suppose to be the whipping boys of the tournament.

In any proud, important footballing country, that would have been the end of Raymond Domenech's reign as manager. However I don't know whether they were trying to groom Laurent Blanc to the post or what but they decided to give this crackpot manager another two years. He has already lost the respect of his players at this point and the team was always in constant turmoil. Bringing in a manager like Paul Le Guen or Gerard Houllier would have at least brought some sibilance of stability. But no, the French Federation felt like they had their man who was going to do the job.

They stumbled through World Cup qualifying and in fact needed to go into a playoff to win the spot in the World Cup. Of course then the handball around the world happened that got France through when they probably should not have gotten them through.

Understandable once you get into the World Cup tournament that you should not fire your manager unless there are unreconciled differences. But when players openly challenged his rule a couple of months before the biggest tournament of the world. Domenech stumbling along for the last four years. We have to pin some of the blame on French Football.

Then you strip Thierry Henry of his captain's armband and only give him a limited role on the side. We know that he isn't at his prime anymore but he is the only one that can lift this team. I think most players on that team love and respect Henry. And stripping a legend of the French game his captainacy shows the rest of the squad that you do not know what you're doing and you do not care about the morale of the rest of the team. Domenech and the higher ups should have at least rewarded him for getting them here. Remember he did set-up the controversial goal.

Now you have to choose a new captain. And you should know that everyone thinks that they should be the captain of the team. The only one that you can bring an united front with is the captain you just stripped. So whomever they chose as captain wouldn't be everyone's choice and probably would not be ready for this responsibility with just a month left before their tournament started. So of course let's just put Patrice Evra into the firing lines further upsetting William Gallas because after Henry he probably feels like he should be captain of this team but there is no one in that starting lineup that deserves the armband.

And when it couldn't get worse, they decided to name Laurent Blanc the manager of the French National Team after the World Cup. Now this isn't a shot against Blanc, actually I am glad he is going to be manager. However when you name a new manager before the World Cup starts it is never going to end well.

You would think that players should love to play for their country in a World Cup because they may never get a chance to play for one again. It won't work when players hate their manager, players hate each other, and players hate the federation that they are playing for because they have treated them like shit for four years since great Zidane left the side. They might regret this later but they aren't going to play for a man who they know is going to be gone after this Tuesday's game (I am predicting them go by the waste side against South Africa). They have not played for him ever since the 06 World Cup so what makes anyone to think that they would play for him now?

Now we go to Patrice Evra's claim that there is a traitor amongst the ranks. I believe that even though these players do not like each other. They have a mutual hate for the French Football Federation and their manager so when Nicolas Anelka left they were quite sad and disappointed that such information was leaked out to the media. And I have a feeling that they know a player wouldn't do that to another player so they looked right at the FFF who hasn't been kind to the players any this tournament and has been criticizing them the whole way through. So it is no wonder that they didn't train on Sunday. They did not do that to the manager because if that was the case they wouldn't have been training at all this tournament, they were sticking it to the whole Federation for get ridding one of their fellow teammates.

They will show up on the field on Tuesday against South Africa physically but will they be there mentally I have no clue. However one thing is for certain, we will be watching this train-wrecked finally go off the cliff...

My (Monotonous) Life

First and foremost, Happy Fathers Day to my Dad and all the other Pops out there. We appreciate your hard work and dedication to your families.



This Saturday more than any other Saturday basically is basically a highlight of my current life. First, I went out to Rose High School and did some sport specific conditioning work with the kids for about two hours. Then for about 12 hours after that, I was basically nowhere to be seen from the entire world. I closed myself in my room and just watched the soccer games and basically hung out in my room.

I was not grounded or not in trouble. I just felt the need to close myself from the world at large. I feel like I try too hard to get involved with people's lives. And that most other people (there are definitely exceptions) that could care less and not even going to bother to say hi or talk to me for that matter.

So I decided it was a good idea to close my computer. Sit in my favorite couch and watch tv. It actually felt pretty good for some reason. I did not feel any obligation to say anything to anyone nor did I feel antsy about getting on my computer or on the phone and say what's up.

I wouldn't say that I would like to do this sort of thing everyday but it would be very nice for a change to not feel the dependency of talking to people and enjoy the monotonous life that I am having at the moment. Especially when during the week, I am either working or playing pick-up soccer with some friends. It's nice to sit back, relax, kick-back, and enjoy the finer things. I remember when I use to do so when I was younger. I think it would be nice to get back to those things and not worry about the uncontrollable...

Just Rambling Away

I have been staring at this blank screen for a good 15 minutes. I wanted to type a post about my search for a mate. However I've got nothing. Cannot say whether it is a sign. Whether I have a clue or do I really need to talk about this at the time. I'm only 24 years of age. I've got ample time. I guess. So now I just want to talk and ask myself questions because who reads this junk that my hands type on a keyboard?

I haven't been alone recently however I have found myself lonely whether with company or without it. I tend to draw myself away from people. I haven't gotten why I necessarily do this. Do I like people? Why can't I get along with some people? I am the sort of person who can be awkward around people if I have just met them. Once I get to know them and become comfortable with them then the awkwardness eventually goes away. Many don't let me get to that point and dissociate with me within the next couple of days or so. It is okay. The more I know about those kinds of people the less likelihood that I would talk to them anyways. I guess that could potentially answer some of those questions. Sometimes I also tried to force myself upon wanting to talk and it doesn't work that way. So I've laid off on those type of things and now taking everything for what it is. I'm going to be here and ready to listen to whatever you have to say.

I have looked at my facebook wall and just seen those stumbleupon sites that I've decided to post. No one writing on my wall or answering back to messages that I sent. I usually get bent out of shape at that point. Why don't people say hello or how have you been? Now it's just been whatever. People are busy with their lives and they don't want to talk to me or they do not have any time to talk. It is no problem to me anymore. I can take the loneliness. At dozes.


I've enjoyed hanging out with these guys from Greenville lately. It is more because we all have the same interests so it is quite easy to get along with these type of people. I like to play footy, we enjoy a good beer pong game, and we like to party. What more can you ask for really? It's good. I'm going to enjoy being back here for the next couple of weeks, playing pick-up and hanging out.

I am going to move to Raleigh in July and I'll probably be in a situation where I am going to be a hermit except for when I go to work. I know people in Raleigh but I don't know people in Raleigh. I don't think they'd be comfortable with me asking them whether they want coffee or not. Why I say that? Because I've already tried it a couple of times. Fail! So I have to figure out other ways to meet new people around there. Like I've said before in this blog that it isn't easy for me to go up to a random strangers and start talking to them. I don't know whether I need to do that or whether I need to start looking for clubs and other interests groups and start meeting people that way.

I've been rambling for a good 20 minutes around and most of it probably doesn't have any substances. It isn't one of those drunk post or anything, I haven't been able to get any sleep. Well only about two hours of sleep actually.

Well any-who, I hope to start meeting people soon. If it happens great, if not it won't be a lost cause. I can always walk to the beat of my own drum...

I'm Looking At Me. Not You Anymore!

I've been hearing the constant calls for me to do something for someone else. Whether it is a broken contract (which I'm not all the way responsible for) or e-mail a person who obviously isn't going to listen to what I am going to say. Also I hear other voices telling me to do this and do that, and where are you going to be in the next five to ten years.

Quite frankly, I just don't know. It has been a month since I got back into the country and I am not going to lie, I wanted for the first few weeks just to relax, unwind and enjoy being with my friends and family because I was dealing with a lot of effed up ish back "yander".

Now that I am refreshed and ready to get going again. I am focusing on me now. I have always cared for others and tried to take care of them and talk them through things. However it is time for me to be a bit greedy with myself. Start developing a bit of cold-hearted spirit.

I am not saying I won't care for my friends because I will always care for them and have them in my hearts. All I am saying is that I need to be much more worried about me and not then because for the most part, they have their things in order. I need to get on their level in terms of having a steady life because it's been pretty crazy for me since I graduated. What I am saying is that the general focus will be on me and I will do everything in my power to make sure that I make something out of myself.

So for those that know me well, you get the same nice, caring, but sarcastic guy that you are use to getting however to those who can care less and want to cheat me (or has cheated me out of things) you are more than likely dead to me.

No matter what empty threats you throw at me, my house is going to be strong and I'm not going to let you just throw stones at it...

Respect is Due..

(That is a big watch by the way)

Alright, I have called this man out millions of millions of times but we all know that this is a class footballer and I will pay respect when it is due. With a 40 goal season with Manchester United, leading them to Champions League glory and exceeding expectations at Real Madrid, he deserves all the respect that is given to him.

Most of us might not like him because of his brass cockiness. We cannot dispute that he is one of the best players of the world and on the rate he is going, he could potentially be one of the greatest legends.

You could say that his lifestyle choices aren't the best and he is an avid party animal. Unlike Ronaldinho and the real Ronaldo, he seems to grow stronger with every award he's received. Ronaldinho steadily dropped off once he won his FIFA World Player of the Year award. Ronaldo had the unlucky fortunes of getting injured time after time that caused his decline (even though I still think he could ball in the highest level). Even though he is at the tender age of 25 and probably still hasn't hit his prime yet (that is a scary thought) he will only get better if there is any way that he could be better.

This man has all the best qualities of a legendary footballer. He can strike a ball, has quick legs, can take free-kicks, is tall, and can head the ball. What more can you ask for? The only knock that I can think of is that he isn't the greatest passer but there are only a couple of great passers in the game right now. But he isn't a creative playmaker, he is more of a finisher. He is a Kobe Bryant compared to Xavi and Iniesta who are like Steve Nash.

He has won every award in the English game and will probably do the same (with the help of the Special One) in Spain. The only thing that allude this footballer is accolades in the international game. Like Messi and Rooney, he needs a signature performance in South Africa that will put him with the likes of Zidane, Pele, and Maradona. I think he is due for one. After getting to the semifinals in 06, it is time for him to make that next step.

I don't know if the quality of players in the Portugal National Team setup could help him (especially with his mate Nani being out of the tournament) but I am sure he will do everything in his power to keep his country in this tournament. He has done it with club. Why can't he do the same with country? I'm calling it! He is going to have a strong tournament. Portugal winning the World Cup? Well Michel Platini had one of those performances in 86 and he didn't leave with Jules Rimet Trophy. *Shrugs*

Sunday Ramblings

I hope that I've gotten everything I need to finally move into my place. I'm heading back to Raleigh for the week tomorrow to make sure our cable and such is installed and make sure that everything is in place. I'm rooming with one of my good friends from high school. It should be fun hopefully we won't get into too much trouble. We're living near State and near the Hillsborough St. area so I'm sure we'll see a lot of college kids around. I might have to show these youngins a thing or two. About what? I don't know.

World Cup starts in just about four days. I cannot wait until it starts. Even though some of the main stars are injured and not being in the squad but it is okay. There are definitely some stars that could be made in this tournament. I'm not sure who is going to come out on top, but you really can't bet against the Brazilians. The Dutch always look good during these friendlies but they often flop during the tournament, however I think this is the year that they make their run. If Spain can do it then I know the Dutch can make their break-through.

Just watched a new episode of the Boondocks and I am quite disappointed with this season. There were some funny parts like Thugnificent telling Sergeant Gutter that "he could eat a dick" and when those three old people were saying "We N*****, we like ruining s&*^." Other than that, there hasn't been a classic episode yet. Hopefully more the episode will be better than the ones before it especially since it took them two years to make a new season. I'm still going to watch and enjoy but I hope it gets better.

I was searching upon the boondocksbootleg site and I was looking over some of the fights that were going on. Due to the fact that I've never seen a serious fight go on in real life but when I saw one on youtube it is one of the most graphic things ever. Watching these youtube clips of fights, hearing skin on skin and people falling on the ground hitting their head hardly than they've been hit. It makes me have a new outlook on fighting. I use to try to instigate fights (with people that I don't know that is) but now I'm not going to try and instigate anymore. I'm not going to stop them from fighting though. I'd mess around and get knocked out for no good reason. Nah I'm not dealing with that. Drink, party and have a good time. Stop fighting.

On that, you remember the time where you would get in a fight with someone and that'll be the end of it? Those days have been long gone. People fight one on one and then when they lose, they have to prove that they are a big man and bring five guys with them to beat up the winner. Then once that was done there has to be more retribution afterwards. The cycle never ends. Be a man and if you get beat up one on one, take your ass whooping and go elsewhere.

Just don't go back to the bar where you got your ass beat. Hahaha

Alright I am going to get to watching these comedy stand-up dvds and hopefully get to bed sometime. This week should be a good one. I'm going to chill out in Raleigh, find an apartment with a pool and enjoy the free time I have left. I'll have a few weeks before I am working full-time. So cheers to Sunday and for everyone have a good week. Shoot me a message somewhere anywhere. It is literally hard to not get a hold of me. So peace for now...

Obama, I don't want to see you on ESPN anymore

This post isn't for the political head conservatives who want to jump on any chance to bop on Obama in the head because I am sure he is a cool dude when he's not president. Let's be honest if Mother Theresa was president of the United States we would still be beefing with her.

I am just saying that I am sick and tired of hearing Barack's opinions about sporting events. Who cares what he thinks about Lebron James' impending free agency search? Or his NCAA bracket. I've never seen so much sports coverage of one man. Maybe that is why many people are upset with him, because he's stating his opinion on too many things. There are times where you just need to STFU (you can google it).

Then again, people beef with the man because he makes mistakes. I have never complained about Bush in that way because we are human we all make mistakes. I've hardly seen a president in my time of living get everything right. No one does. Even you can't get it right. I'm not going to tell you guys to stop talking about him because if we were in one of those socialism societies you were talking about in the being. You probably would be caught, beaten, and killed after you made your "confession" (Ask the Soviets about that).

So if you are the going to clown the man, clown him on talking about sporting events because he's not Adam Schefter or Michael Smith. He shouldn't be reporting on anything that has to do with sports. Pass some bills, fix the leak, and restore peace in the world

Wait a minute, that last part is literally impossible...

People-Watching

I can sit at a place for hours and hours on in and just people watch. For the brief 5 to 10 seconds that you see someone, you'll see the most interesting things. Their mannerisms, their talk, and the way they look at people, it makes me laugh to see what they do and how they do it.

For example, I'm currently sitting at the library on the second floor. It is a two-story library but it has an elevator. I understand what the elevator is for. It is for those who cannot easily get up and down stairs. These two able black women looked down the stairs, couldn't be bothered by just going down one flight and pressed the elevator button and waited for the elevator. It would have definitely been easier for them to walk their lazy asses down the stairs rather than waste their time with the elevator.

Another example, these two guys sitting across from me that think that I don't know that they are talking about me. I can see you out of the corner of my eyes man.

At the same time it could just me being a bit paranoid and they aren't saying anything to me at all. And my fly might be undone. Fair play on them then.

Why is this guy wearing biker shorts???

I saw Chris Brown 2.0 today. He was walking down the stairs and I was walking up. He was crumping down hardcore. I couldn't help but look at him.

This white dude is repping blood colors. Repping it real hard. Red hat, red shirt, and red shoes. There better not be any crips or you'll be hearing about it on the WRAL news that the Cameron Village Library got shot-up. I hope to be interviewed if that happened.

Then again, I hope to make it out alive at the same time.

Oh snap, interracial couple kissing by the water fountain. I don't think these three old white man would not like that. Then again, I see some black women mean-mugging the shit out of them.

This post turned out to be from me talking about people-watching to just straight up observations about people watching. Oh well, * shrugs * same difference right?

I guess you can see a whole lot whenever you are just looking everywhere so keep your eyes and ears open....

"Well that was a Cruel Joke"

Normally I would not try to talk about dreams or anything too personal. However I think a few of you would enjoy this dream because I think that some of you would laugh at this. It is definitely something that I won't think will happen in real life or anything but it's whatever.

So me and my family are apparently living in this huge townhouse. I have this pretty big room and I recently made the mistake of a) having my cleats in my room which I know is a no-no and b) those cleats being dirty. So that being said my room was a huge mess. I cleaned up my mess and dragged all my cleats downstairs, cleaned them, and then left them in the closet downstairs

Now, I get this call from a man, who lives next door, tells me that he wants me to fix his computer. Me, needing the extra cash, says sure and walk over there.

I get over there and their house was pretty flash. We shake hands and I go over to fix their computer. I have to tell you this also, I have never been in this house, never seen it, and don't know any layout of it. (That will come later). I get to going on the computer. Pretty straightforward job that I had and it took me about 30 minutes.

After I was done, he went to introduce me to his wife. I was shocked because I actually have met this person before. We had dinner and just talked. Nothing sinister because I knew she was married and all. Plus I was not interested in her in that way. We went on our separate ways and I haven't heard back. So I see her and I didn't really want to say that I met this person because I am sure that she hasn't told him anything like that. I wouldn't think it would cause any problems but just be awkward so I play it off shake their hands and get on with my day.

I decided not going straight home. Instead I wanted to catch some air and get some lunch.

I got home later on that night, turned on my light to my room, and saw that there were heaps of dirt in my room and my soccer shoes all over the place and they were dirty and muddy.

I get a call from that guy's number right after I enter the room. He doesn't greet me or anything he says, "Don't you ever go into my bedroom again." I was like what are you talking about? He said you know exactly what I mean. I heard all about you, my wife told me everything. I was still like wtf. I have never went into your bedroom ever. (After I woke up and thought it over, I realized what he meant. He knows physically I have never been in his room but in another way. Get it now?)

I still look around at all my mess and then I see my Dad who sees it and lays into me and rightfully so. I try to tell him that I didn't do this but I mean why should he believe me, it is my room and my cleats are spread out everywhere. So I took the yelling and said that I would clean up my room.

After he left, I knew what just happened. The guy came into my house dirty-up my cleats and put dirty all over my room. I just thought to myself, okay how can I get this guy back?

A couple of weeks later, the guy went on his computer and his wife had her e-mail account on. He saw an e-mail from me. I sent her an e-mail saying, "Let's run away together, I got two first class trip tickets to Monaco and we should leave today. Click on the attachment for more details." He was angry and he clicked on the attachment to download it. The screen went blank and I came back on,

"Hey, well that was a cruel joke that you just played on me but I can play a crueler one. While you were at work, I went back into your house and I wrote this e-mail and put a virus into all your electronic equipment. Now before I decide to push the button to cut off all your electricity and would take days to fix it, I would like for you to go to your room."

He walked in his room and I littered his wall with pictures of me holding two-thumbs up. He could hear me in the background, "Now I was physically in your room." Then I turned off the electricity in their house.

I was standing outside hearing him yell out my name. I was laughing getting in my car and I drove off as I moved away from my parents' house.