Lately, I have been having the strong urge to fill you guys in on my personal thoughts. Like why I haven't found someone special or feel like I have enough friends. However I tell myself: "No, These people do not need to know anything" I do have enough time in the day to let my mind just wander and think about what could have been and where I could have been. But I can tell you guys these things because hey, some people might feel the same way right?
The reality of things are that everything is harder than it seems, well maybe except for playing soccer or video games. Being as observant as I am, most people I know do not have much trouble doing anything. Being able to do anything they want, going on trips, finding almost any lady they can have, and just plain getting what they want. No jealously (well a little bit, I can't lie) but sometimes one has to make their own luck to get everything they wish for. I might have to work very very hard for luck to come my way. It isn't as if others don't but maybe I am not smart enough to have everything come to me.
I have always wanted the asshole gene. Sometimes I am too nice even if I am treated like shit. I want to just have that gene that just don't worry about those people instead of bringing them back in. I think that maybe they wouldn't be my friend if I ignored them so I say, "sorry" and let them hang out with me. I don't know what exactly can I do. Should I risk having no friends and being true to myself and not being gullible to those around me? or should I just do the same thing I've been doing and risk being hurt? The decision might be made for me. I might just have a moment where I might just snap and start just worrying about myself no matter how things work out.
My fantasy world is done and dusted. Just cause I think people like me, it doesn't mean that it is true. Snap back into Reality Dre, It's hard to trust many people these days...
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