The Nonsense 13: Life's Good however would love not to be alone

Earlier I said that I have a very negative outlook on life. And in fact I do. However that does not mean that I think that my life is bad or worse off then others. I know that my parents were definitely worse off than myself. I know that my dad worked hard as hell to get his future children out of the situation that he was in. (He actually could have played in the NFL, trust me, he kept the envelopes of the teams who contacted him)

When I feel sad, it's more about not having someone to share my fun with. I mean my friends are cool and each and every one of them (only a few) are my friends for life. But I always want someone that has something in common with me. That will be there whenever I am feeling down and can have trust in me to talk to me whenever they aren't feeling well.

I know that there aren't really people out there that trust me enough to talk to me. I'm not really mad at that. I understand that you have better friends than me to talk to and you should definitely talk to them before you talk to me. However I consider myself more as a therapist, in that I'm not going to spread shit about you and I want to understand everything you are coming from because honestly I probably have the same thing going on with me. Whenever I hear a girl/guy that are friends with me talk about somebody who keeps on trying to talk to them (maybe they just want to talk) and they are like this person is very annoying and I don't want to talk to them. I feel like I've been in those same situations because there are times where if I don't talk to anybody first and then nobody talks to me at all and whoever does talk to me then I get excited because I know that hardly anybody (at a spur of the moment) talks to me and sees how I'm doing. So if I do that then I apologize because I do get excited when people are interested in what I am doing and probably I get too excited about these things that I might go overboard. I'm deeply sorry about this.

I can't front and say from time to time I get sad about being alone (and alcohol is a depressant by the way) but whenever I do go home alone most of the time I understand what is happening at the moment and I'm not going to try to force women to possibly do something that they don't want to do because I can read people's body languages for the most part and understand that if they want to talk to you and keep in touch then they will make sure that they will do this. If they don't, it really isn't worth the trouble of trying to force yourself upon a someone...And people talk about confidence. Some of this said "confidence" is definitely false ones unless the person is interested in you to begin with. If they aren't then whatever confidence you have doesn't mean jack shit. Okay wrong subject for the wrong time....


I'm going to end this convo on a random note just cause. I think my mom is on facebook now and either two things are going to happen.

1) I'm not going to add her as my friend because she will definitely be able to see the things I've done
2) I have to delete facebook completely because I did tell somebody whenever my parents got on facebook that is when I have to get off of facebook.