Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Listening to my fav ipod playlist so my brain is operating for a change...

I felt like I should write something other than my mind-numbing experiences here in New Zealand. However there isn't much in my head. There hasn't been too much going on in my head lately. I have to make a delay on the work permit front because I have to wait to get my medical exam and x-ray papers (which I get on Friday). So I have been having amples and amples of free time and one would think that's cool but in a house with a family inside it, it's kind of hard to just act as if you were a bum and sleep all day or watch tv all day. So I've been trying to walk around and make sure to get to know this place much better than I do now and so hopefully they won't have one more body to worry about, I feel bad about it (my laziness during this time due to my delay).

Back to my head. I haven't been able to get on my ipod alot lately. I don't know why but I decided to put on my headphones and just relax. I've been on a R&B tip lately. I just don't really have the taste at the moment for hip hop. Don't know why and I don't really want to get off the point. So whenever I listen to R&B naturally I begin to think about someone because of course most of these songs talk about the perfect woman and such. Lately, my mind has been void of someone. You can say, " obviously you're in a distant land, you haven't really met that many people yet." That's true however at least someone back in the United States would creep back into my head. That hasn't happened yet either.

It's strange because Marshy (my head coach) and a couple of other players asked if I had a lady-friend back home. Of course I said no and they thought that it was probably for the best. They are probably right for a change. I've finally found a team to play for and I feel like I've been playing well and finally playing my position (hmm despite my supposedly size disadvantage). I don't think having a person, that you care about alot, is going to make your new transition any easier. Plus when you are trying to find a job to get extra income and finding a place to stay everything is stacking up against you. Then if you accidently miss calling her a few times or talking to them on gchat, AIM or whatever you are using these days, they might become very upset with you.

You're going to miss them and want to be with them instead of being here and trying to do something that you love to do and been doing for 16 or 17 years of your life. It's hard to understand in their situation but it's also hard on the person who is far away also. Sometimes you cannot have it both ways.

I was going to go on in a rant about marriage but I don't even want to mention that. I don't want to get married or anything I was going to use it as an example of sacrifice.

With all that being said, that isn't why I have a lady-friend and why I'm not thinking of one. Maybe because rejection creeps into head all the time (among other things that are stupid on my part) but you don't want to be rejected and then even the friendship is awkward until they stop speaking to you altogether and it leaves you wondering what the hell happened or you just have a problem of looking ugly.

Andre, I don't know what you're talking about I look hot as hell.

Maybe that's another reason for my lack of homesickness and for the first time this morning I kind of felt like I want to stay here for the long haul. I just hope everything works out.....

No matter what I decide to do....

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