Shutting Myself off of FB Chat. is it possible?

Whenever I get on facebook, I check on the facebook chat box and see who's online. It's an easy way to see if there's anyone to talk to and such. There are occasions when I'm very very bored and want someone to talk to, then I try to talk to them and they either a) don't say anything back or b) only say two things and look for the nearest excuse to leave and then come back once they think I'm gone. So I've been trying to find ways not to have that urge to talk to people who can't be bothered saying anything but two words to me. I mean I would say that it's a waste of time but honestly facebook in general is a waste of time and me being on there checking up on my "friends".

I should think about what I'm going to say to a person and if you are fully aware that this conversation is going to be 5 minutes or less then I really shouldn't be bothering with this person's time. They don't feel like contributing to the conversation so why should I? You have that pit in your stomach that says, "this person is annoyed." And I can tell because I've felt the same way when other people tried to talk to me. Not that they were trying to strike a conversation more because they were just asking for something and that's all that they wanted to get in contact with me about. Which I understand, but a simple e-mail or facebook message would do just fine.

Not getting on facebook at all helps a bit. Here's exactly what I do on there. I check to see if I have any new notifications, go to my profile, go on my friends list to see if there's any updates and I see if any of my friends have any interesting pictures and after that it's just basically mindless screen watching that's basically a waste of my time. At the same time that I do this, I could have read at least three to four articles on the BBC website or I could have something else that would be more productive in the time of boredom that I currently am going through. And the facebook chat makes things worse because I spend about 10-15 minutes waiting for people to come online so I can talk to them (okay 10-15 minutes may be a bit extreme but whatever). I mean if I want to screen-watch, I might as well put in a video or play a game of some sort. It'll at least get me out of the thinking that I have to talk to someone.

This is going to be a very gradual process. It's not impossible (okay maybe near impossible) but I need to begin learning not to put my hopes on everything facebook. I can go on there and see if my two only real friends are on and if not immediately log myself off and do other things with my life rather than be on fb. I need to learn that there are more things going on then someone's update status or if someone's in a relationship with another person. It seems like something out of one of those tabloid magazines or something. I need to get out of the tabloids and go into the real world...... or twitter either or will do :)

I've Got Nothing

Yeah, I'm kind of feeling like that is the size of my brain at the moment because I've got nothing really to talk about this week. All I've been doing is looking for jobs and getting on facebook. Haven't been on any sight-seeing adventures due to the rain. Oh last night was the first night that I've heard thunder and it was thundering pretty loudly. There goes that. We tied our game 2-2 last weekend. Probably our worse performance of the year and we probably should have won it, but hey it's football. Fortunately for us, the second-place team couldn't gain any ground on us. They tied also.

Should I talk about how I'm feeling? I've been trying to get away from that lately. I don't think that many of you should know my personal thoughts or probably care either way. So I made my own journal for that nonsense and I'm most definitely sure that it will never see the light of day.

Other than that, umm yeah, my brain feels like the size of a peanut right now. Even though I've been writing cover-letters by the hour trying to find a job and such. I've been trying to write blog post but however when I get started, I forget exactly where I was going with the post and then I would have to scrap it altogether. Darn Empty Brain Syndrome, it never fails to get me in these important times....

Can I get my 360 back please?

I know it is Sunday and I am sure that there's no possibility of them fixing it now, but the boredom has increasingly taken over my body. I can no longer listen to my parents babble on about useless nonsense or commentate on things that they have little knowledge about and then asking me to explain to them about these things when in all reality I am not listening at all. Yeah I just don't listen anymore, now I just sit there, looking for places to find a job because I need one. Oh here they go again, arguing over getting the phone. Can someone get the phone and just deal with it. I don't understand anything anymore. I just go off in my own world and not pay too much attention. You know friends would be nice but I probably should not bother them with my nonsense anymore. So my old reliable buddy is my 360 who is currently in Texas getting fixed or at least the repairs are in progress. Now I am searching for a new video game possibly or just something to keep me away from facebook which is virtually impossible because every time I type. I would type F first and then the rest is history, I'm on my profile wondering how I got there and knowing that this was not my real purpose of getting on internet explorer but I do. Oh well just pray for 360 being fixed within the next week or so. Peace

A free-write activity....

"Hello World"

Another edition of me writing randomly in my head with no real topics, It is just me going off on random stories that you might want to hear or might not. It does not matter either because if you are still reading then you want to hear to hear my nonsense. Correct?

People want to be right. I was working at the Raleigh Shootout and I had to make sure that people didn't park in the wrong places. And some group of people thought it was the best idea to park their car on the edge of the road towards the exit. Their cars are going to be exposed to getting hit if someone is aggressive and is getting out in a hurry. So I had to explain to these retards that a) you can't park here or you will be towed. b) your car can easily be hit by anybody who is careful. And quite frankly I could careless about that shit. I would probably just laugh at you hysterically for your ignorance. Then they try to give me the "there's nowhere to park." Well that still doesn't mean that you are allowed to park here. So move your ass, I got to stay here until 5pm, while you are enjoying the games.

Do I know you? So it was me and another guy working at the parking lot. And it was debatable whether this guy was talking to me or to him (because he had cornrows or something) so the guy in question comes out of nowhere and says, "that is a girl." This is directed to us and I am just looking at him in amazement. I don't know you dawg, so what the f*** are you talking about. I just begun to laugh at the idiot as he left. Then he decides that he's cool enough to flash the finger like I can gather a positive id of who this person is. Like how retarded do people have to be. I am not making fun of anybody that I don't know unless they did something to me. Obviously I did not do anything to this person. I am just glad that I'm a reasonable person, because if I was too volatile I would have picked the nearest rock and chucked it at him. I don't care if they made me leave afterwards during that point I was ready to go.

Did you really just call us rental cops???? Like I said before we were working the parking and just making sure people weren't parking at certain spots. And then this lady was playing a joke on some other parents beeping her horn and we were like are you serious? Your car is right behind us and this irritating horn beeping is really pissing me off. She finally gets out of the car and says, Rental cops, I'm sorry I was trying to play a joke at my husband who I guess was one of the parents. Rental Cops? This was while me and the other guy were wearing red rain jackets. Do we look like rental cops. I didn't know that rental cops wore red I just did not know that. I didn't even get a flashlight man I am going to have to talk to those people about that. "Top Flight Security, Craig" Haha and we are wearing red which should have scared you like most of the other cars that were around. I'm sure they thought we were bloods or something. I would have rather took that then being called a rental cop. Zoooooooo Woooooooooooo. Yeah I just did that.

Are those mountains??? So after I was done with my work I headed back to Chapel Hill soon after I was done. I think I should have took a nap in my car before I headed back because I was soo exhausted that I was hallucinating that I was driving down mountains when I hit I-40 going home. It was rediculous because I knew I wasn't suppose to be in the mountains or anything like that. The clouds were definitely playing tricks on me. I felt like I was descending but I knew I was not and I was just afraid I was going to wreck any moment. I've never had that happen to me. Luckily I didn't wreck although I did veer off the road but that's when I was not on the highway so I guess I was straight after that.

Needs to trap himself in his "office": The temptation of going out (even if it is by yourself) is pretty great. For the simple fact that there is nothing to do where you are at and the fact that I live in a one bedroom place makes my boredom even worse and I have to deal with not really having that social interaction during the day. I've slowly gotten use to it but sometimes it catches me to the point where I should find a reason to go out. I don't really want to go out but I feel the need to go out for no good reason. So now I've started to sleep when I feel the need to go out and by the time I feel like going out again, it will be around 1:15am (because I don't sleep eight hours straight like normal people) and there will be no reason to go out because all the places are closing haha. Well I'm going to try to trap myself in my "office" and ignore the temptation to go out and unnecessarily drink plus I have to spend more money which I don't really want to do at the moment.

"Big bro, I'm a big dog, and I don't mean fleas when I say I'm ticked off. haha and nigga I don't ever scratch and she throw that p***** then big dog fetch."

Forgive me sometimes I will break into song for no reason at all. I listen to music way too must for my own good. It kind of wastes more time and that is one of the things that talk to me for hours and hours on in so I will treat it like my best friend. You know.

Blessing that I have a phone with no numbers: I've thought about making one of those pages (facebook) saying that I need numbers because my phone was actually one of my dad's old phones and he had all his numbers in there. So first I had to delete those numbers first then after that I had to find the numbers that I actually need. And I thought that I should make the page but I realized that I don't need to make this page because I only have about 5 or 6 people that I would talk to and the others don't want to talk to me or text me (their lack of texting or ignoring my text would make me think this.) So as of right now I only have the numbers of people that I've talked to for the last couple of days and the rest I am not going to hunt you down for your number because you probably think I will stalk all of you again. Those days are over with. I'm done with texting people just trying to see how they are doing or being helpful to those who've had a bad day. If I keep on going I will begin to rant So I'll stop with this subject and if you really want my number you are going to have to look for me.

I think I am done talking right now. Don't really have anything else to discuss. I have a very long week in store for me. My daily planner will be my best friend for the next couple of days. Also the iron gym obviously. And the key words for the next couple of weeks/months. I've called off the chase. I will explain that later, it is a different chase then what I explained about finding groups of friends, but the other kind of chase. I don't think anyone will understand what I'm talking about. I do understand what I'm talking about

P.S. I'm sure there are grammatical errors because I also make them. I don't feel like editing this right now so deal with it :-)

Pic: I'm currently listening to Mos Def right now so that's why his picture is up here

Cutting myself off from reality

I have many of times thought about cutting my ties from AIM and face book. I just don’t know if I can do it for a long extended of time. People will not be able to get in touch with me and I won’t be able to get in touch with other people. Also I wonder if I would be forgotten if I decided to let go with these social network/ instant messaging services. I do not really know. Will it be worth it? After all not many people talk to me as it is. I don’t if I am forgotten or anything. I am not really caring because if people worry about you after the fact it is kind of too late.

I believe that if you really wanted to get in touch with some one then it would not be too difficult to do. I have some friends that actually get in touch with me without using these services. I know they are few and far between but I have to believe those are the true people in my life. Unless for those who are always asking for favors. I probably should leave those people alone. We will see. I will keep facebook because it is funny just looking at other people and what they do and say on their statuses and we know that I have to join in on the fun with my crazy statuses. I think AIM is more overrated as it goes because no one is really up there and anyone hardly talks to me on it. Then again, I may be back on that junk as soon as I leave.

What will I do? Play fifa of course. Look for some new kicks to buy (yo Aaron I think I am going to buy some supras not the high tops though but I think I found some on the right price range) Listen to the music that I’ve been buying (hahahahaha) lately. All those new mixtapes and junk.

“Shawty you the hottest, love the way you drop it, brain so good could have sworn you went to college.”
-This is the hook to Sho da Don’s ‘Dean’s List’ on Evil Empire‘s Be South 19, but he took it off of T.I.’s ‘Whatever You Like’ song.

Maybe go workout and run. I need to stay fit for whatever that may come to me. I will probably end up in Switzerland somewhere, hahaha as you can tell I love that place (I saw some stuff on the travel channel that made Switzerland look tight). Watch some TV, clean my place if it does need cleaning or just go outside and walk around for no good reason at all. I am sure there is more to do then to look at social network sites and hope anyone will write on your wall or IM you because honestly they probably won’t by now.

My Complains and big ups

Second edition of the complains page and a new page talking about the big ups:

My Complains:
UNC Smoke Free: Now I understand that you are trying to get this campus smoke free and everything but come on, when you measured off 100 yards off of any building, did it have to be right smack dab in the middle of campus. When you walk through the quad you will see right where the American flag is like 20 people smoking. Now I am not upset with the smokers but could you find a more discrete place for them to smoke? I don't think they care but I just find it some what odd.

So you just going to stand by the bar for no reason?: If the bar/club is crowded and you have a full bottle of beer or whatever you drink, get YO ASS away from the bar area. Other people want drinks too. What are you necessarily doing there? You have your drink find somewhere else to be. Make yourself useful. Pick up a girl or two, I don't know just let the other people get themselves a drink.

"Hey who's beeper keeps on beepin and beepin": Hammer really? If you don't know I'm talking about the Monday Night Football Commercial where the guy is having a dream that he is in the studio with MC Hammer. Another beef with this commercial. Why are you dancing IN THE STUDIO. NOBODY IS GOING TO SEE YOU!!! It has gotten this low.

Facebook Chat on the new Facebook: Now I am not going to go up here and hate on the new facebook or anything. I don't have no real beef with that. I have more beef with the slowness of facebook chat on it and also why does it always signs the other person off when I send them a message. Don't you know it makes me think that they are trying to ignore me, I mean I am already paranoid as it is. hahaha



Big Ups
This is the first of my big ups page:

My Parents: Now I know it is pretty easy to show big ups to my parents but they came up huge for me. They helped clean out my debit card and gave me some spending money because I find it hard to get a job while I'm back to doing the college thing again.

Theo Walcott: This English youngster in the last couple of weeks showed why he was allowed to go to the 06 World Cup with England when he was 17 years old. A couple of weeks ago he was the youngest English player (at 19) to get a hat trick against Croatia and help lead a 4-1 thrashing. Ever since then he has been instrumental in the rise of Arsenal getting back to the top of the table in the Premiership. Big ups to the lil man.

My couch: Yeah for some odd reason I've been getting my best sleep on my couch and not my bed. I tried to sleep in my bed on sunday and it just didn't feel right so right afterwards I went to the couch and slept a whole lot better. So I've slept on my couch ever since. It's weird but it's mad comfortable.



That's about it for now. I know it might be a disappointment but I think my brain is drained from all the work I did today. I don't know what I'm going to write about next. I guess it will come to me sooner or later

Really?

Well, something I don't understand, I was watching the unc-va tech football game and there was a commercial talking about national stay at home week. That is one of the freakin problems in america. It is true that one of ther reasons why this is one of the most obese if not the most obese country in the world. We stay at home, lay on our couches and just watch football all day and during the evening we watch sitcoms and by that time nobody wants to go out and do any exercises. Think of our children who just sit around and play video games or go on facebook all day and not do anything productive with their day. "Take the twinkie out yo mouth!" This is a serious issue because our children are getting diseases due to their weight earlier and earlier and they don't get time to even grow up and be regular adults. Get out and do something! Whether it is just running on the treadmill or walk for a while. Please! Don't listen to the media, take yo ass outside!

"I'm about to blast off call it rocket science"

My mind has it's own mind and it really does what it wants and please. Too bad my mind is just to nice and feels like he should solve problems.

Yo what up! sitting here watching the tube at about 2:30am. Not really concerned about what else is going on around me. Debating what to do with this stupid facebook because i feel like it's a waste of space and it wastes my time and everytime I go on that piece nothing changes except for the fact that I change my status every hour on the hour. Well i'll look over it to think whether I really want to keep it. In all honesty though why should I? Whatever. Oh and I'll apologize there will be sometimes in this post that I will break out in song.

"F you too b**** call the cops, ima kill you and them loud ass motherf*****
barking dogs."

What was I going to talk about? Oh that Eminem verse on forget about dre is the shit! Dre's part is good also but let's keep it real em's part is disgusting. Me, Walt and some of the guys were celebrating walt's birthday at fox in the hound? or fox and hound? one of those. And they were singing karoake and that song came up and people were mouthing dre's part for sure, but when em's part came up the whole bar was going crazy and that part that i just put up there was the loudest part. Em is pretty sick especially for a white boy. Another sick white boy is Asher Roth, I got his first mixtape and at first when I heard him I thought I was listening to Em but the more I listened I felt like there was something more to his music and he's one of my favorite rappers now.

Hey Aaron have you solved the mystery you stalkin bastard.... hahaha and yes I am posting this late again. If you have a problem, why don't you just blow me hahahahaha and why don't you punt a cat or something, I know that's something you want to do. And Randy Hayes said he wanted a tatoo of you suckin off beast.

"Come on, suck me up, hey dude you can even suck me up I don't give a damn, i'm
in this motherf*cka"
(in a fake russian voices) "i'm from russia we suck
everybody up."

hahahaha you know i'm just kidding, you my ninja and so is sho. Ya'll keep my ass up and awake during the freakin school day and ya'll don't pull no punches ya'll say exactly how ya'll feel. I don't need to hear bullshit that others try to put out. If I wanted that I would just watch tv or try to talk to the people that don't want to talk to me and act like I don't know you are pissed off hahahaha bullshit I can see right through it people.

It's almost three in the morning and now i'm thinking about waffle house. Cause that's what we usually get when we go out in Atlanta. We'd stop at the waffle house and the people on the counter would know our names and the weirdos and the strippers would come by to make things uber interesting. Especially the strippers. We try to talk to them but they think they are too good for us and shit and then at the end of that shit they would give us cards to go to their strip club and shit, i'm like you guys are tripping right now. They were good times man and especially since the guys on the team that I went out wit were good guys so you know you can have a good time. There ain't no need to go out with people you don't like or places that you don't want to go to that doesn't make any sense at all. It's kinda retarded, "uh yeah i'm going to hang out with people I don't like and want to kill myself sweet."

Well before my ass got out of topic I was trying to say that I'm about to head out and watch tv/go to bed and enjoy my sunday. I doubt that I will post on sunday afternoon. But next week I don't really know what I'm going to post on. Maybe the ideas will come to my head. I believe that my first post of the week will have something to do with more of my complaints that I have and probably some more about the soccer stories of the week. We will see. As for now I will leave you with one quote that I started with on the title... goodnight people

Hey welcome to the jungle, and I'm the lion, I'm dippin' in my coupe, with the top behind me I'm not the president, but I see cops behind me, Well f**k 'em, f**k 'em, f**k 'em, and they can not stop me, So I will be drivin' like Ricky Bobby, It's my prerogative like Whitney's Bobby, I'm skatin' on blades like Sidney Crosby (That's hockey), Sharper than a ginsu, shawty You not Beyonce, but I can get you body

Don't necessarily take me seriously

I know I've been critical of people in my last couple of posts, but I don't want you to take me all the way serious and say that I don't like all people.... I just don't like most people. This is a collection of my thoughts, they don't necessarily have to be fact or what YOU think is the truth, but it is what I think. And unless blogger thinks that this shouldn't be on their website then I don't think I will stop posting what I think. I see people making fun of blogs and all that and I just find it funny, let people be themselves if they want to express their ideas and thoughts about the random things that go on in their head then let them do it. You don't have to read it, they aren't going to cry if you don't read it (uhhh maybe???) So if some of you come across my blog and you feel like I'm talking about you....Then I am probably talking about you and if you have a problem, don't go to your friends and make fun of me, come to the source, all you people are my "facebook friends" as it is...


Moral of the story is: You don't have to take me seriously, just click X on go on facebook and forget you saw these page if you really want. For the other imaginary readers who haven't left then I will keep on going bc it's titled in my title I'm in my own lil world

Opinion of a free mind: Pt. 1

I've had this question posed to me a lot. What are your long-term goals? what are you looking for in your life? Now at first I thought I knew what I was looking for. To play soccer, have a lady-friend, and have bunch of friends to hang out and have a good time with. But for some reason or another some of those things aren't meant to be. I don't know maybe i'm over-hyper about making friends or maybe i'm trying to be friends who seen me one night and probably don't remember me the next. I know it is a fault that I am trying to rid of but hey it's hard to get rid of bad habits.

I was this close to going out by myself and just hangin by myself at a bar today. I don't know what stopped me, I was at the parking lot and I was ready to get out but something told me that nah, you just need to go home. It wasn't like I was sad or anything. Of course I just didn't want to sit by myself while all the others just sat their and have fun with their friends. I only have a couple of true friends left. It's hard, It's hard. People tell you that you are their friends until they either take advantage of you but using you just as an outlet for their problems and not concerning themselves with just having a conversation with you and those that tell you that they are your friends and then just ignore you. I'd rather you hurt my feelings and tell me the truth. The truth is better than lying or telling people other shit. I listen to soo many people talking about how others are annoying and bother them on facebook and it just hits me. Hey! others are probably sayin the same about me. But that is okay if you just want to fake it and tell me shit but then on the other part of the screen or your mind you say "gah why is he talking to me" then that's okay to but hey remember the faster you tell the truth that faster you rid of me from your whole life and that's what most of you want. Right? Right? Right?