The two stories of my somewhat interesting life

Disconnected- adj- disjointed; broken.

Disinterested- adj- not interested; indifferent.

Now I have been on this journey to find out what I should do about the problem that I think I have with keeping friends and somewhat. And I thought about these two words. They tell two different stories in the book of Andre Sherard. Because you see that the people that aren’t really your friends are either disconnected with you or just plain disinterested with you. It is hard for some to understand because they do not want to look into the person who they want to be their friends. They just make excuses why don’t they like me? Or why do they not talk to me anymore. Well you should just listen to conversations of people you know and then understand that the situation that they are talking about, might actually apply to you. Those people might be saying, ugh why is this person talking to me? I am going to give him some sort of excuse to get them off my back. I always wanted someone to tell the truth about what they feel but I suddenly realize that they aren’t really “hiding” the truth to make you feel better, it is more for them to make themselves feel better. Because if they give you an answer that is vague at best then they can absolve themselves from you. “Well we can just be friends” Which is a fine thing to say but necessarily you don’t have to talk to your friends a lot. So they think by saying that, they don’t have to feel bad about hurting your feelings and also keeping their distance from you. Well now I will tell you the two stories of the two key words that represent this ongoing novel.

Disconnected
Have you had some friends that you hang out with. That you see them out somewhere and you guys talk forever. Or just have someone that thinks about you and you think about them just because you guys are good friends. And then all of a sudden out of nowhere, they are nowhere to be seen. This is where the disconnection factor comes in, for some reason maybe imaginary, you guys get disconnected with each other and then you really just stop talking to each other. If you think about it, more than likely this is going to happen because in all reality you had nothing in common. Talk about the same ole shit, actually only see them once or twice a week and just talk to them on some sort of social network or instant message. And then out of nowhere they look into other things. Which you can say is a part of disinterest also but we’ll talk about that later. When you try to talk to these people, they give you one to two word answers and then they just go away finding something else to do. I try to avoid these people because even on a computer there are signs that they aren’t really trying to talk to you. They want to get rid of you as fast as possible. So rest in peace to those people that I’m not too connected to anymore.

Disinterested
“Out of sight out of mind”

Somewhat of disinterest comes from the disconnection portion, because after a while those people that you use to talk to become disinterested in what you are doing and they just forget that you even exist. If people are interested in what you are doing then they will at least make an attempt to find out what you’re doing. It doesn’t have to be all me because for the most part people get freaked out if I message them or im them. I just am wondering how you all are doing, I don’t want anything from anybody anymore (A lot of anys). I am interested in people I am sorry you don’t feel the same. I like the people that actually answer back with something interesting to say to me, instead of the two to three word answers I usually get. Okay let me get back to my point, people may be disinterested because they have enough friends already, they do not have time to worry about other people that they hardly know of and I respect that. I talked to this person yesterday who was my facebook friend and I hardly have seem him at all except for when we played his team in high school. And yeah I was kind of thinking like you guys are, wow this is random but I respect the fact that he is decided to come out to talk to me because we are at least facebook friends and if you did not want them as a friend then you would not accept their friendship. So big ups for you (I try to avoid names to feel like I shit on people) for actually having the nerve to talk to me even though we hardly know each other. So people will be disinterested and that is fine, however if I create a buffer between me and you do not be surprised because I don’t want you to pull me in and then a couple of days later while I say something you give this one to two word disinterested answer that actually makes me feel pretty bad for actually talking to you. I don’t want to feel like shit again so in other words if you want to break through that buffer you are going to have to show me you’re willing to do that.

After all is said and done, I think hardly many people can handle me as a friend. I am surprised that I have the friends I do now, because I come up with the most random shit in the world to do and they are down with me doing it cause they understand me. If many of you who say that you are my friends actually got in my head for a change, you would be scared shitless. So I think it might be “your blessing” (hahaha) that you are disconnected or disinterested in me. You don’t have to deal with my nonsense…….The nonsense that’s all bottled up inside. Enjoy :-)