Because I have nothing to say to you...

Since all I feel like doing right now is rant about more shit. I am not going to do that and I plan on keeping it calm for this cloudy saturday morning (in which I should be watchin cartoons and junk like that

I think we are going to have to leave if I see one more white guy dance goofy as hell

I like to put it in and leave it in, I just don't like to take it out

Hey didn't lil wayne say that he is only at the clubs for 30 minutes and he gets paid???? then why the f*** is he in the bar and buying big girls drinks

-the guy looked like lil wayne alright

You know mom doesn't want me to drive, how she going to tell us that she wants you to drive my car instead of me driving my own car

Hey girl, you just gonna slam your hand on our table....sway back and forth and then ask us the time like you gonna remember that shit

Hey, waking up is overrated

So this drunk ass guy thinks it's okay to dance with black people if a Biggie song comes on??

- hahaha then that same guy proceeded to get kicked out

Damn, that bitch is going hard, she going out with crutches on and everything

- he said that shit right in front of the girl, i almost busted out laughing right in front of her

Somebody needs to tell him to get off the iron gym

- he was talking about this tall ass dude who was standing in front of us

you going to covet that nigga's wife and everything, i mean she is a bad bitch and all but he married her

You know who Steve Jobs is? No you don't because he's in the upper echelon, you know why, cause he gave it up to yo boy

The two stories of my somewhat interesting life

Disconnected- adj- disjointed; broken.

Disinterested- adj- not interested; indifferent.

Now I have been on this journey to find out what I should do about the problem that I think I have with keeping friends and somewhat. And I thought about these two words. They tell two different stories in the book of Andre Sherard. Because you see that the people that aren’t really your friends are either disconnected with you or just plain disinterested with you. It is hard for some to understand because they do not want to look into the person who they want to be their friends. They just make excuses why don’t they like me? Or why do they not talk to me anymore. Well you should just listen to conversations of people you know and then understand that the situation that they are talking about, might actually apply to you. Those people might be saying, ugh why is this person talking to me? I am going to give him some sort of excuse to get them off my back. I always wanted someone to tell the truth about what they feel but I suddenly realize that they aren’t really “hiding” the truth to make you feel better, it is more for them to make themselves feel better. Because if they give you an answer that is vague at best then they can absolve themselves from you. “Well we can just be friends” Which is a fine thing to say but necessarily you don’t have to talk to your friends a lot. So they think by saying that, they don’t have to feel bad about hurting your feelings and also keeping their distance from you. Well now I will tell you the two stories of the two key words that represent this ongoing novel.

Disconnected
Have you had some friends that you hang out with. That you see them out somewhere and you guys talk forever. Or just have someone that thinks about you and you think about them just because you guys are good friends. And then all of a sudden out of nowhere, they are nowhere to be seen. This is where the disconnection factor comes in, for some reason maybe imaginary, you guys get disconnected with each other and then you really just stop talking to each other. If you think about it, more than likely this is going to happen because in all reality you had nothing in common. Talk about the same ole shit, actually only see them once or twice a week and just talk to them on some sort of social network or instant message. And then out of nowhere they look into other things. Which you can say is a part of disinterest also but we’ll talk about that later. When you try to talk to these people, they give you one to two word answers and then they just go away finding something else to do. I try to avoid these people because even on a computer there are signs that they aren’t really trying to talk to you. They want to get rid of you as fast as possible. So rest in peace to those people that I’m not too connected to anymore.

Disinterested
“Out of sight out of mind”

Somewhat of disinterest comes from the disconnection portion, because after a while those people that you use to talk to become disinterested in what you are doing and they just forget that you even exist. If people are interested in what you are doing then they will at least make an attempt to find out what you’re doing. It doesn’t have to be all me because for the most part people get freaked out if I message them or im them. I just am wondering how you all are doing, I don’t want anything from anybody anymore (A lot of anys). I am interested in people I am sorry you don’t feel the same. I like the people that actually answer back with something interesting to say to me, instead of the two to three word answers I usually get. Okay let me get back to my point, people may be disinterested because they have enough friends already, they do not have time to worry about other people that they hardly know of and I respect that. I talked to this person yesterday who was my facebook friend and I hardly have seem him at all except for when we played his team in high school. And yeah I was kind of thinking like you guys are, wow this is random but I respect the fact that he is decided to come out to talk to me because we are at least facebook friends and if you did not want them as a friend then you would not accept their friendship. So big ups for you (I try to avoid names to feel like I shit on people) for actually having the nerve to talk to me even though we hardly know each other. So people will be disinterested and that is fine, however if I create a buffer between me and you do not be surprised because I don’t want you to pull me in and then a couple of days later while I say something you give this one to two word disinterested answer that actually makes me feel pretty bad for actually talking to you. I don’t want to feel like shit again so in other words if you want to break through that buffer you are going to have to show me you’re willing to do that.

After all is said and done, I think hardly many people can handle me as a friend. I am surprised that I have the friends I do now, because I come up with the most random shit in the world to do and they are down with me doing it cause they understand me. If many of you who say that you are my friends actually got in my head for a change, you would be scared shitless. So I think it might be “your blessing” (hahaha) that you are disconnected or disinterested in me. You don’t have to deal with my nonsense…….The nonsense that’s all bottled up inside. Enjoy :-)

My New Obsession

So I decided to take my boredom to the next level and went on the internet tv and i found this site called narutowire.com. Yes I know what you are thinking and yes it is an anime site. For those that do not know anime is a japanese cartoon. Hey you can judge me I don't really care. Well anyway, I was thinking about a new anime series to start because I've been on the Bleach for a year now and I cannot wait for the next episode tomorrow. So I thought about what I heard and while I was listening to one of those my way vblogs on youtube. I decided to give One Piece a chance.

One Piece is about this chase for all the pirate treasure in the world and all the pirates are trying to get it. Well this goofy pirate with a straw hat named Luffy (the first guy in the picture) is trying to be the Pirate King and get the treasure. The great thing about this guy is that he does not give a care in the world. Sometimes the dumb looks that he gives to people in serious situations just make you laugh. And somehow he just makes his way out of a troubling situation. I just love the boy's goofiness, he makes the series. I cannot really talk more about it because I have just gotten through three episodes and all I know is that Luffy is heading to the Grand Line (which is where the treasure is) and he's doing it in a little boat with only one person in his crew. He's a funny character because he has only one goal in mind and he doesn't care if someone says that they are going to kill him, he'll go on with his business like nothing happened.



Well I know you are probably like this guy is actually talking about anime, well I don't care what you think really, I could talk about myself and how I have bad luck with girls and people in general, but I know you don't want to hear that neither so in other words enjoy when I talk about something else other than myself.

"Tonight is gonna be cool, tonight is gonna be true, tonight is gonna be you"

"Let me cut the lights off, now let me talk to her."

Now it may be easier for some to talk to the opposite sex than others. For the others that it isn't too easy for you. What should we do? Well I kind of figure that it is probably going to turn into trial and error. Asking someone out in the right way isn't an exact science or finding the right person. So sometimes you have to say 'f it, i'm going to ask this person out to hang out with somewhere, go to a movie, or just chill.' And if that ends up not working then don't put your head too down. Like I said before sometimes it is trial and error. We all aren't the socialites (is that a word?). It isn't easy for us to go up to someone and get them interested in you. Nor it just happens that someone pops out of nowhere and says that they want to hang out with you. I've been wondering when that's going to happen hahaha. I would just say to you that you have to keep on trying because there might be someone who is actually interested in hanging out with you.




"I'm walking through the street with 24's on my FEET, a n**** got whips like a farmer got sheep."

I've been having a lot of thinking time during this weekend. All I did was field marshal some soccer games and then rode around in a cart. I thought about just thinking that I needed somebody. I don't think that necessarily I need someone. Someone would be nice to be with you, but relatively speaking you don't need anybody. And I don't feel that it's healthy really. "I'm gonna kill you, if I can't have you." Come on, nobody wants that nonsense in their life. If you don't know me, I am not the confrontational type that is going to go crazy if something doesn't go my way. However I do like who I've looked at in the last week so I am going to currently go on with this trial and error thing and whatever happens will happen. Won't stop chasing, like Aaron told me to do. Can't Stop, Won't Stop.


Bill Gates, Don't laugh at me....
So my 360 is dead. Or at least I cannot play it at all. It blinks those red lights everytime I push the power lights so now I have been sitting here getting on facebook and myspace (yeah it's gotten to that unfortunately). Now I think I should get back on my internet TV tip again (Bleach is the shit). It really didn't upset me that my 360 broke. I mean yea my saved games are basically all gone and I won't have any business playing them. However I think it might be a blessing that I lost my games. Maybe I should sell off all the games and everything with it and just not have a system until I can get a steady job and I'll hopefully have enough money and time to get one. I find it ironic that it is close to the time in which my parents bought this thing. So I will say goodbye to 360, fifa 09 (pains me to say it), and video games in general until I can get enough money. Hey Aaron don't worry I'd still whoop that ass.

Eh I thought I'd end it on a lyric but nah I don't feel like it anymore. Hopefully I'll have something interesting to talk about tomorrow or maybe it'll just be HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

P.S. If this didn't make any sense, sorry I just felt like writing something

Blogs in Song

Now I know I've been on my own tip lately. And I've been writing multiple posts about myself. Well I want to get rid of me for the time being and give you some of my favorite lyrics that I've been listening to and trying to relate to myself. This is about the time of the year that I'll let the R&B songs take me away even though I don't really have anybody to share with... It's cool!!

"Only just a friend the love story begins
Now here's a happy ending to believing
Your always down for me now you're with me in my dreams
It's got me wondering if you ever dream of me
I don't wanna risk losing everything
But I'll take the chance and tell you what I'm thinking
Girl"


"You've been my best friend can we put this to bed then
Tonight's the night to cross the line
Baby won't you be mine
Not just my homegirl
Time that I take you home girl
Tonight's the night to cross the line
Let me love you tonight
I, I, I..."


(Oh) Hush my baby, Don't you cry.
I'll dry your eyes. Fulfill your heart's desire.
Let's go in. Try again.
Careful this time. Broken promises linger in our mind.

I'll give in completely. Hearts break so easy.
I know. Believe me. Oh, I've tried.
But my arms can hold you. My kiss console you.
I'll come and love you tonight."


"I'm only here for this moment
I know everybody here wants you
I know everybody thinks they need you
I've been waiting right here just to show you
How my love will blow it all away."


"I was soo cold
I was soo bold
I was soo lonely inside
You were soo nervous when you first heard this
that a real man is going to try your heart
but you're so real, know how I feel
so we both continue to play our part
From the end to a start, girl it's going to be hard
it's nothing that we both can't get through."

"I gotta admit sometimes I feel week for loving you the way I do
It's beyond me
I can't control it or force it to be, you know, what I want it to be
I think about you so much when I'm with you and when I'm not
It's deep, the way, just looking in your eyes just changes my whole perspective."

"It's so hard for me to say this
I'm struggling to find the right words
What I've felt is past tense
What I feel you just haven't heard

So, I think it's better that I tell you now
I think it's better that I tell you now

She's so sweet and good, good
I can't let her go"

"I waited for your call but you choose not to call me
I wonder what happened
Were you inside a safe space and too I wondered
Were you thinking about me and if you were
Why was I feeling so lonely
By the phone, alone to the bone
Although the night before you were in my home my body my dome
In a circle of passion we Paris Italy Japan Africa Rome
We made music, we trombone
It was magic the way it happened
Pure electricity
I felt so excited and afraid at the same time
I don 't know whether to sing or to rhyme
Call me."


I'm a little weird, a little crazy, an oddball for sure. But I'm sure there is someone who can match with my oddballness (yeah I made that up) or maybe just help me curb it down a little bit if they don't mind.

09 is all about ME

I've been working out and thinking about things and I must say that this year has just been a year of mistakes. From the beginning all the way down until this point. From being unfit to being not fit for school or the people around me. I thought I was doing everything for myself but in all reality and the most part I was doing things for others around. I currently have no job and the problem is that I am going to need to pay rent in the next couple of weeks and no shit I need to find a job. However It is hard for me, I just don't think I have the skills that many others do. I can't sell anything because I am not the best people person and I can't just read off of a script of some sort. I've tried to get a job at grocery stores believe or not but I have not heard a word from any of them. So I am just stuck here going to school but all I have money is for gas and the occasional food. Here comes my other problem, in the summer I took a visit to Chapel Hill and I watched some of the guys play and then I saw my coach and he said that if I came back to school that my grant will still be there and I will get money. He didn't really tell me that for some reason getting a professional soccer contract in the United States apparently means that you cannot get money from the school. Now it was probably my mistake for not telling him to check and make sure because if I knew from the beginning I was not getting any money, I don't care how much of a good idea it was I would not have taken it and gotten a part-time job in Greenville and would have paid for my schooling that way and I would not be currently stuck in the jam that I am currently in.

In the Spring, I had the decision to go to Atlanta or possibly being in L.A. potentially (it wasn't a done deal or anything). And I thought maybe being close to "friends" and family would help me out so I decided to head closer to home. And it was okay to begin with I wasn't playing alot which I had to get over after a while but the thing that really got me was just how many friends I thought I had and how many that I really have. And if I knew that I was basically going to be lonely to begin with then I would have probably just stuck my ass all the way across the country and maybe met up with cool people or something. I will try not to go too much until details with anything else because it will turn into more ranting of people who I don't think hate my guts but just don't want to talk to me or hang out with me.

The rest....Are too personal and still eats away so quite frankly I will keep them in my brain and kill it with working out as hard as possible and being focus on the tasks at hand. I don't mean to rant on this I just wanted to let you know that 09 is a new year and it is about time that I listen and consult myself rather then listen to what people say. Cause like I've realized with most of the people that I was associated with "Out of sight out of mind." Unless they say shit behind you telling their friends that he needs to hang out more or whatever. Like I say it'll be more ranting. I have a phone/facebook/AIM/gchat/twitter whatever else. It ain't hard to get in touch with me

All these forum posters or article commenters

Now I take the time to read articles and forums. This is mostly because I am bored and try not to look on facebook/myspace or check my mail all the time. I see the comments that people make and most of them are very bias to their own views and what they think. They would rather berate each other more than discussing the topics that were in hand. And most start calling each others names, trying to get real personal and start saying racist or homophobic things. Before I use to wonder why they do this and why they would make fun of somebody even though they don't have information about the person. For example, this guy would go on bigsoccer and he would crap on my UNC coach calling him names and saying that he is no good and no one should go play for him because he treats his players badly. During the time he did talk about my coach, he was hidden by the screen of his computer and he didn't have to explain anything to anybody because it was his little "screen name" and when people exposed him and said who he really was then he backed off from his statements about my coach.

I think people try to find things to say because they really don't have anything to say. If the author of the article writes a perfect article and uses a word that the reader doesn't quite understand he would just go and try to make a joke about the guy dusting off his dictionary. By the way for someone to say that is dumb because if author knows this word, I'm sure he knows more than you. Or just make up some stuff that tries to shit on the article. When I write a comment on somebody's article, I don't try to get on the person writing I try to discuss the subject, but people just go on there and are like "the person that writes this is shit, the people in the article are shit, and you are an ignorant n*******" Whoa dude we are talking about young people trying to become better what are you talking about.

I feel like people need to have their names and pictures beside their comments. Maybe they will think before they write something that would perceive them as ignorant. Maybe we can have intelligent conversation about the problems or just about any topic that is on an article or forum. Or maybe you just like writing dumb shit because you are ummm dumb? Yeah I think that's right

A free-write activity....

"Hello World"

Another edition of me writing randomly in my head with no real topics, It is just me going off on random stories that you might want to hear or might not. It does not matter either because if you are still reading then you want to hear to hear my nonsense. Correct?

People want to be right. I was working at the Raleigh Shootout and I had to make sure that people didn't park in the wrong places. And some group of people thought it was the best idea to park their car on the edge of the road towards the exit. Their cars are going to be exposed to getting hit if someone is aggressive and is getting out in a hurry. So I had to explain to these retards that a) you can't park here or you will be towed. b) your car can easily be hit by anybody who is careful. And quite frankly I could careless about that shit. I would probably just laugh at you hysterically for your ignorance. Then they try to give me the "there's nowhere to park." Well that still doesn't mean that you are allowed to park here. So move your ass, I got to stay here until 5pm, while you are enjoying the games.

Do I know you? So it was me and another guy working at the parking lot. And it was debatable whether this guy was talking to me or to him (because he had cornrows or something) so the guy in question comes out of nowhere and says, "that is a girl." This is directed to us and I am just looking at him in amazement. I don't know you dawg, so what the f*** are you talking about. I just begun to laugh at the idiot as he left. Then he decides that he's cool enough to flash the finger like I can gather a positive id of who this person is. Like how retarded do people have to be. I am not making fun of anybody that I don't know unless they did something to me. Obviously I did not do anything to this person. I am just glad that I'm a reasonable person, because if I was too volatile I would have picked the nearest rock and chucked it at him. I don't care if they made me leave afterwards during that point I was ready to go.

Did you really just call us rental cops???? Like I said before we were working the parking and just making sure people weren't parking at certain spots. And then this lady was playing a joke on some other parents beeping her horn and we were like are you serious? Your car is right behind us and this irritating horn beeping is really pissing me off. She finally gets out of the car and says, Rental cops, I'm sorry I was trying to play a joke at my husband who I guess was one of the parents. Rental Cops? This was while me and the other guy were wearing red rain jackets. Do we look like rental cops. I didn't know that rental cops wore red I just did not know that. I didn't even get a flashlight man I am going to have to talk to those people about that. "Top Flight Security, Craig" Haha and we are wearing red which should have scared you like most of the other cars that were around. I'm sure they thought we were bloods or something. I would have rather took that then being called a rental cop. Zoooooooo Woooooooooooo. Yeah I just did that.

Are those mountains??? So after I was done with my work I headed back to Chapel Hill soon after I was done. I think I should have took a nap in my car before I headed back because I was soo exhausted that I was hallucinating that I was driving down mountains when I hit I-40 going home. It was rediculous because I knew I wasn't suppose to be in the mountains or anything like that. The clouds were definitely playing tricks on me. I felt like I was descending but I knew I was not and I was just afraid I was going to wreck any moment. I've never had that happen to me. Luckily I didn't wreck although I did veer off the road but that's when I was not on the highway so I guess I was straight after that.

Needs to trap himself in his "office": The temptation of going out (even if it is by yourself) is pretty great. For the simple fact that there is nothing to do where you are at and the fact that I live in a one bedroom place makes my boredom even worse and I have to deal with not really having that social interaction during the day. I've slowly gotten use to it but sometimes it catches me to the point where I should find a reason to go out. I don't really want to go out but I feel the need to go out for no good reason. So now I've started to sleep when I feel the need to go out and by the time I feel like going out again, it will be around 1:15am (because I don't sleep eight hours straight like normal people) and there will be no reason to go out because all the places are closing haha. Well I'm going to try to trap myself in my "office" and ignore the temptation to go out and unnecessarily drink plus I have to spend more money which I don't really want to do at the moment.

"Big bro, I'm a big dog, and I don't mean fleas when I say I'm ticked off. haha and nigga I don't ever scratch and she throw that p***** then big dog fetch."

Forgive me sometimes I will break into song for no reason at all. I listen to music way too must for my own good. It kind of wastes more time and that is one of the things that talk to me for hours and hours on in so I will treat it like my best friend. You know.

Blessing that I have a phone with no numbers: I've thought about making one of those pages (facebook) saying that I need numbers because my phone was actually one of my dad's old phones and he had all his numbers in there. So first I had to delete those numbers first then after that I had to find the numbers that I actually need. And I thought that I should make the page but I realized that I don't need to make this page because I only have about 5 or 6 people that I would talk to and the others don't want to talk to me or text me (their lack of texting or ignoring my text would make me think this.) So as of right now I only have the numbers of people that I've talked to for the last couple of days and the rest I am not going to hunt you down for your number because you probably think I will stalk all of you again. Those days are over with. I'm done with texting people just trying to see how they are doing or being helpful to those who've had a bad day. If I keep on going I will begin to rant So I'll stop with this subject and if you really want my number you are going to have to look for me.

I think I am done talking right now. Don't really have anything else to discuss. I have a very long week in store for me. My daily planner will be my best friend for the next couple of days. Also the iron gym obviously. And the key words for the next couple of weeks/months. I've called off the chase. I will explain that later, it is a different chase then what I explained about finding groups of friends, but the other kind of chase. I don't think anyone will understand what I'm talking about. I do understand what I'm talking about

P.S. I'm sure there are grammatical errors because I also make them. I don't feel like editing this right now so deal with it :-)

Pic: I'm currently listening to Mos Def right now so that's why his picture is up here

OOOH I want that triple steak burrito

Forgive me, I've put myself in a trance for the last couple of days, so I have not had the opportunity to think or talk about anything. And quite frankly I have nothing. I thought about going after computers, mobile phones, and other electronics but however I end up babbling on about some nonsense that had absolutely nothing to do with the current topic. I could talk about my week and how it was. With that I do not think people want to listen to what I have to say or what I did for a change. I mean the only thing to know of was me and sho heading to Waffle House on a Wednesday (aka Thursday morning) just cause we were hungry and didn't want to cook anything. That's about it. I can relive my war against race, but ever since the election I was focusing myself on the problems that only blacks and whites had and I didn't even get to do my necessary research on the rest of the races so that basically stalled out (I will probably revisit it though) What else...I could go back into detail with my war against my imaginary enemy, that is the public that knows me but doesn't really know me, I think I need to quit bringing it up because I know that it is repetitive and even my friends that would read it would get tired of it and I am growing tired of it also. FIFA? No you guys don't care about that hahaha. I found it


Commercials are trying to get you a) fat b) after you get fat, get you back in shape with their medicine c) make you think you will get laid and d) gives you an enhancement for when you do get laid.

And the thing is that they just go into a big cycle. Have you ever seen a group of commercials talking about food: McDonalds, Taco Bell, Wendys, etc... Then there would be a commercial talking about getting rid of all that food that is most likely due to the fact that you eat all that greasy food. I mean I'm not going to lie I saw a taco bell commercial and immediately I headed up to Taco Bell with no thought of what I did and got the triple steak taco burrito. I know I got sucked into that trap of buying what I see on tv. The pills and the diets are supposedly "quick fix" for those who have a problem with weight. Have any of you have ever heard of photoshop or other ways to make people look fatter or skinnier then they are suppose to be. Of course people are gullible enough to just buy your medicine and take your money.

Then there are those who show the alcohol commercials that everybody is having a great time and of course at the end of the night everybody will get some. Of course that's how it's like. NOT. Well people do get theirs and I'm not hating on them for that. But it isn't like what they claim in these commercials. Hardly anybody is in their right state of mind, looking like zombies and such. When you guys have two of Diddy's bodyguards fighting each other because they had too much of that Ciroc (sp?) Vodka, then I would believe that shit.

That gets to my next point, the guys and ladies alike want their sexual experience to be at its maximum so there's commercials that talk about male enhancement and to make the sex go longer. I mean I am not hating on it or anything. Hey if you don't feel like you are delivering the goods then maybe you might want to give it a try, but ladies I have a question? How long do you want him to go? because I don't care what you say, there is a limit to everything. Nobody wants to be going at it for three to four hours straight. I mean come on now, I don't know what is good to do for three or four hours straight. Even playing video games I get to the limit where I don't want to do that shit. So couples just be careful what you are dealing with.

These people are smart. They know what products to put on the tube and they know what problems that the public have. I don't know, I just do not want people to get trapped on everything that they see, it could lead to problems and then you will be on Dateline talking about how this pill ruined your life. Please don't be that person.

Getting in tune with your "star player"

"Backstage after the Flava Flav roast in which they called him a crisply crackly coon for the whole show, He came back happy as shit, congratulating people on doing a good job and we were like wtf, they just called you a crisply crackly coon. And you know there are some people you never thought you would learn anything from. I mean come on, when a guy has a viking hat and a big ass clock with the wrong time you expect not to learn anything from them. And I will never forget what he said to me, 'I don't give a fuck what they say about me, they got to pay me boiiiiiiiiii' and ran the f off and I realized something that's what you have to do keep yo star player in line because if they talk shit about you, you have to take everything from them, everything?!?! yes everything."
- Katt Williams-It's Pimpin Pimpin' (i didn't get all the right words but that's what he was saying)

Now I watched the rest of this comedy special and I realized that I have to do what is best for my star player. That was something I was getting a little into in my last post. Maybe I have to lie to myself and tell myself things that make me feel good about myself. Cause I always thought that people would like me, but of course I am mistaken. There are haters everywhere, they'll hate on the way you dress, the way your hair looks, the way you just look. Bump them, take care of your "star player" because after it said and done. Once you get done with them fools, you are going to be able to take everything too.

So what's my demeanor right now?

I don't know why I keep on coming back to you. You social network/ instant messaging services you. I do it because I believe that I am out of the loop with everything that is going on in people's lives. In all reality I still am out of the loop of people's lives. I do not think they want me to be a part of their lives or they would take more interesting in what I do. I know I am probably asking for too much to those that want little to ask for. However it is hard just sitting here staring at a tv screen hour in and out. I just feel like not using this services will make me a much happier person on the inside because it has been a LONG time since I've last been truly happy about myself.

This Sunday was like any other Sunday for me. I did a little cleaning of my living area that I really should call my bed room because that's where I sleep. I also got some time to watch some soccer and some football. Shoutouts to the UNC Women's soccer team for winning the ACCs you guys deserve it and good luck in the NCAA's. I also caught a little of the MLS playoffs today. New York Red Bulls won today on the help of Dane Richards (a facebook friend so shoutout to you too) and big ups to Mac Kandji aka King Kandji aka O.G.7, keep on doing your thang guys. Also their keeper was amazing for them, he made save after save after save. They beat the two-time defending MLS Champs Houston Dynamo. A former college buddy, Corey Ashe, plays for them and shoutouts to him also. I'm proud of ya keep yo head up and get em next year. Same goes to Michael Harrington and my buddies out at Chivas (Keith, Justin, Lance, Alecko, etc.) Alright I'm done with the shout outs. Other than that I've been sleeping and playing fifa for the rest of this day.

So what have I been up to. Actually much of nothing to update you on really. I've just been a hermit during my days when I don't have class and such. I always seem to go on the iron gym when I get completely bored and I've been actually seeing the results of it all so it's been working. I kind of wanted to get away from playing soccer at the moment. I've been playing with adult league teams and such and after the last game on last Monday I wanted to get away and just concentrate on myself for the time being. School is just school. I mean I'm hating it a lot but I am able to manage my classes and doing surprisingly alright. So cannot complain.

Well I'll get back to my first point, for a long while and sort of to this point I just wanted to belong somewhere. I think that I am such an odd ball that I don't think that I should belong anywhere. So I am slowly realizing that I might need to calm down on "forcing" people to be my friends. They are well at least associates because I talk to them once in a while and all they say is one word or one sentence answers so they do not really want to be bothered me unless... I'm not going to get into all that. I'm done with it

Oh and big ups to Aaron West for not being raw as shit in his adult league game. I know that all the opponents where keying on yo ass but I'm glad that you took it like a champ You got to start to learn how to be a cultured raw aggin like myself. And I hope you had a real people day (read a book, clean and shit like that) hahaha

Wow, seeing people on facebook has got me to wonder

People say that we are the land of the free and we are all equal. I've seen many comments on status (for both sides) that has me to wonder whether Switzerland is the right place for me. I mean it is neutral and you don't have many arguements between them on who is president or not. To the ones that had nothing to say about his race, I commend you for what you say, I'm sure it is probably hard for you to take it and you have not taken the same responses as others. Bringing up race and God, so what you are saying is you did not need God until a black President arrived. It does not make sense.

And to those that want to move to Canada...Nobody is going to care. I don't really care, the only one that will miss you is your parents. That's about it.

The problem that I have is that people have their feelings due to the race factor. Not whether either/or will be a good president. People do not like Obama because he is black and that's what YOUR hyprocrisy comes in. Because you want black friends and black people to be your facebook friends and then at the same time you and others are saying "i'm going to shoot some coons" or "if it wasn't for slavery, obama wouldn't be where he was." During these next few days, I will study what people have to say. Some will be civil and respectful like Mr. McCain, who I have come to respect very much from his speech because he only wants what's best for America no matter who is president. Others will prove themselves as hyprocrites and not deserving for any respect and if you want to move to Canada....I'll pay for your ticket.

Can We please stop saying or doing dumb shit!!!

Pacman Jones gets in trouble again for fighting his bodyguard????

Larry Johnson, of the Kansas City Chiefs, first got in trouble for pushing a women’s head and then a couple of weeks later he spits his drink in a girl’s face.

Lyfe Jennings is arrested for resisting arrest and being a felon carrying a firearm

Josh Howard, on a cell phone camera of all things, told everybody that he didn’t like the National Anthem because he’s black.

Um Black population do we need to go on? Honestly? Are we going to continue to do this because this is getting too old. The thing that gets me is that these and others alike are getting in trouble for the same exact shit. I know this isn’t all of us but we also need to call a conference for this too. These people do these things to stay hood or be that “nigga” or anything else. Sometimes we need to grow up once we get into the spotlight. These people can’t keep these hood personas while they are making the money they are making. Sooner or later that “hoodness” is going to come back to bite you. Whether they like it or not, they are being watched by kids who want to emulate them.

The saying: “The white man (aka cops) is out to get us.”
Well maybe that is a right saying or just maybe (here’s a thought) maybe you do not need to do anything to draw attention to yourself like I don’t know….. Have drugs or a firearm that isn’t registered in your car? Speeding from the Police? Shooting or beating the shit out of each other? Or not stealing shit? If you robbed me, I am going to come after you, that is if I had a gun on me or something. You are being watched because you are black sometimes, maybe you are being watched because you were doing something that you weren’t suppose to be doing. Think about that? You are a crack dealer and you see a suspicious truck outside your neighborhood, maybe they suspect you of doing something illegal. Just maybe, I don’t know exactly, I mean you are a drug dealer

You know when we say or act retarded. We are just reaffirming some of the white populations thoughts about them being better than us. When they hear Josh Howard saying something like he said about the flag, that is going to make them think, ‘they can not even respect the flag. of course we are better than them we can at least respect where we are from.”

Many of our own people do things to keep our own people down. Maybe that is why repeated behavior happens. You see these athletes and others getting in trouble three or four times. They say they would like to change their ways, but the problem is we do not want to get rid of the friends who we grew up with and that is the problem, because mostly the trouble starts when your friend thinks he is too good for the rules because he is a friend of a athlete or rapper or whatever. So he decides to get in an argument and then bring the “star” in and he has to keep his hood status among his friends so he gets into the fight not knowing the consequences until the next morning and ESPN, Good Morning America, and other news outlets get a hold of it and then you have those white people shaking their heads at you and trying to figure out what is wrong with our population.

Why do we feel the need to make fun of each other? Do you feel it necessary that you should make fun of someone who does not wear the same type of clothes as you do? Or do not hang out with the same people. We do a lot of this and keeping ourselves down and saying mean things about each other or doing mean things to each other. I remember one time an athlete beat someone up just because the other guy had glasses and a laptop. That is simply ridiculous. I do not think people should be judging other people once they see them for the first time ever. You have no idea about and I have no idea about you that’s why you should not laugh at a person that you just seen somewhere. I mean that’s almost as worse then one of those white people saying that I hate black people because they are black. I don’t really think we are going to make any advances.

We get on camera or a mic or anything that people will be able to hear over and over. Please get a dictionary and understand what you are saying. We do not need people trying to use big words. And trying to sound intelligent. For example (nobody actually said this but here’s how somebody sounds)

“You know my valediction is impeccable. I stretch the parameters to the equilibrium and then that’s how I get disposition. How you like my vocabulary?”

I have no clue what you just said. At all! I would rather for some of these people use words that they know and just be themselves. I know some of the things that we say are ignorant but at least they have some sort of meaning, unlike the quote above which has absolutely no meaning. Just try to stay within your limits. Within your limits.

There is a lot of sensible African Americans in this country. We have to talk to our people and find ways to get them out of their struggles and not saying, doing, or repeating dumb shit that will follow us even the president candidate. Whom one old crazy white lady called him a “An Inadequate Black Man.” not really because she knows Obama, (I don’t even think he knows anything about him) she is saying this I believe because he’s black and she’s probably seen black people who aren’t as intelligent as Obama do stupid shit so she will lump him into all the rest. Let’s save our people…from dumb shit.

Next Week: We will go after the Hispanic or Spanish community, Asians, and probably also.