What is wrong with you? You sit around your apartment all day long doing hardly much of anything. You don't have any friends. Nobody wants to really talk to you unless out of pity and you force them to talk to you. You're on this computer all day looking at other people and see how they are doing and seeing how happy they are without you. I hope it makes you feel bad inside. You can feel sorry for yourself but I truly doubt that anyone will give you a second thought. So you can go around telling everybody how lonely you are and how you want somebody but you are going to have, well not force yourself upon anyone, to take initiative and try to make new friends. I know you will still fail at that but at least you can say that you tried it out and go back to your cave and play video games. I want you to know that nobody thinks that you're cool because you're sick at FIFA. In fact that makes my point that you are a bigger nerd than ever. You can go up to anybody and be like, "yo, have you ever seen my fifa game? it is so tight." I hope you don't really talk like, I mean if you do your parents might disown you. There are a lot of things wrong with you and I don't even have to talk about your appearance. I'll keep that to myself right now and let you think everything I said over.
Yo, I just wanted to write a little something just to stay on my track on being different in my blog posts. This is some of the negative thoughts that come to my head whenever I feel lonely and people not wanting to hang out with me. Most of the things that happen probably have to do with some of my own insecurities. I think that I know what people think and I should stop that because I have no clue what anyone thinks and I would be mad if somebody tries to tell me what I thought without further talking to me. So I don't know if people don't want to hang out with me or I alienate people. I mean I still might but I can't really go on blasting people individually because I don't know and I am just not the guy to go off on anyone because whether I feel like they've treated me wrong or not I would feel bad for on-loading on them like that, however if I hate them (which isn't many people) then I wouldn't feel too bad. I've been trying to stay in tune with myself lately however the doubts creep back into my mind when somebody doesn't call me when they should or someone I think should talk to me doesn't. It haunts me for a few minutes until I realize that I don't have any control of what they say or do. Maybe it is just an out of sight out of mind deal where they just forgot I existed or thought that I was somewhere else. Well I can dispute the latter of the two but I'm not going off ranting here. I've actually learned what not to do so I wouldn't alienate people and realize that if I'm suppose to be friends then we'll be friends if not I can't force somebody to be friends with me. I mean I can ask them how they are doing and hope they are safe and well but I can't get someone to hang out with me or have lunch with me if they just don't want to. And that's cool, it took me a long while to wrap all this around my head and now I'm just content with who I am and friends come and go all I know is I'm going to still be here and my best friends will still want to hang out with me.
However Aaron isn't one of them. HAHAHA
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