Go D.J. that's my D.J.

I'm sure Steven Gerrard was not saying this in a bar early Monday Morning. In fact him and his friends were beating the shit out of him because the DJ did not play his favorite song. Now the debate starts should he keep his England place for this. We all know that his play warrants him being in the squad but as for a role-model standpoint, do you want little kids to look up to him? And I'm sure that is the question the English FA and Fabio Capello are asking themselves. I'm sure Stevie G isn't a bad guy but when things like this happen you have to wonder how kids will look up to him and they might follow his example.

Now dre, what about John Terry, he has been in trouble before and now he is England's captain

True and honestly that is a very good reason why Stevie G should keep his spot. However even though John Terry is the captain of England, how many people actually know or care about John Terry. JT is an overachiever in my opinion who probably exceed anyone's expectations. And if you were to say who is the better center back b/t him and Rio, I think people who know about the game would say Rio. However Stevie G has a bigger aurora around him then JT and this could affect the team in negative ways too. People would have to answer questions about it and people would debate whether he should actually be in the squad for the time being

I don't think anything will happen to him. I don't think he'll lose his spot completely. I'm sure Capello will make an example out of him and leave him off the starting lineup for the friendly against Spain in February but I don't think he'll be in exile and honestly who in England is going to care what he does. I mean me and a Stevie G supporter were joking about the whole thing and I'm sure others will be too so I'm guessing what will happen is that he'll get a slap on the wrist, maybe a 30 day suspended jail sentence and then we'll all forget the whole thing within the next year.

Not going to lie. I'm tired of this British Nonsense

No disrespect to the English Premier League. I love watching the Big Four and for that matter Aston Villa, Manchester City, (b/c Robinho, Stephen Ireland, and SWP) and basically a team with an American on it (meaning Everton and Fulham). However I can deal without watching games in the Premiership without the struggling teams playing each other. It may be exciting to the fans of these teams but honestly it is just not good soccer, At all. All I see teams do against the big four is lump long balls and hope for free kicks. That is how they are going to get their results but as a neutral watching most of these games I cannot stand watching these games. It begins to hurt my eyes and then my mom would yell at me for a) "WHY AREN'T YOU WATCHING THIS GAME? and b) STOP SLEEPING ON THE COUCH. Because honestly I would either be putting on the headphones and listening to music or passing out on the couch.

I know people will hate me saying it but I would rather watch mid table Spanish La Liga matches then watching mid table EPL games. At least the ball stays on the ground for the most part. You see lots of dribbling in these games but also you'll see nice passing too. I love the chance when I get to go to a house with DirecTV and the people I stay with have GolTV and I'm on the tube watching some soccer and enjoying myself. Instead of going home and all I have is Fox Soccer Channel and now the Italian Serie A is on winter break. So all that is going on is EPL action. I know the English people (the ones I know support the Big Four, hmm bandwagoners!) that I know will give me a hard time but honestly don't you cringe sometimes when an mid- to low level team comes on your schedule because you know exactly what you are going to see.

My New Years Resolution

Since undoubtedly, I will be in bed while everyone celebrates the New Year. I will discuss my new years resolutions to myself because I hate writing things down and I know they will never be seen again so I'd rather type them down on a post so I can at least remember it.

09 is all about ME
I've always tried to make sure others were okay before worrying about my own health. If someone feels down or is having problems I try to go out of their way to make them feel better. Well the problem with this is that no one cares what I do or say. I mean I don't see many going out of their way to do the same or for that matter just seeing how I am doing. So I worry about myself and myself only because I need to make sure my health is right because when I'm gone I don't know if any one would know. "Out of Sight Out of Mind"

165-170lbs
I don't plan on dieting for it. I just plan on running myself to get back into peak conditioning so when I go out to play. I can be leaner, stronger, and faster than I have before. It isn't that I feel like I am fat or anything I just want to feel better about myself and to be fit for anything that comes along. Who knows I might do a marathon soon right.

Goodbye Fringe Friends
To all those people that I try to keep in touch with on facebook and such just to say how you are doing. I am going to wish you a good life and hope the best for you. I am not going to bother you anymore. It's obvious from the responses that you don't want to hear it so for all that I am going to let ya go. I won't delete anybody from my facebook or anything. That is just stupid but you won't hear from me. I know in your New Years parties you can celebrate that also. You people know exactly who you are I don't have to name any examples.

Not letting you win
Now the previous resolution is going to be hard because I honestly feel isolated when noone ever talks to me so I get back on facebook and AIM to talk to people to feel like someone cares when they in all reality don't. So I'm promising myself to not let you win. If I ever don't hear from anybody again, Well I know what these people are about and I will not be surprised. You aren't winning

Getting over having to go out
More about the isolation of my life. I feel like I have to "socialize" to feel important and going out is another thing that I think that I should do. a) it's a waste of money which I probably need and b) the feeling almost everytime I go out just makes me regret going out. So I mean I'll go out occasionally but hopefully I won't feel the need to go out all the time anymore.

Well I'm sure you are making your plans of going out to your various New Years Eve spots. So have a good time and enjoy your friends. I'm sure to be knocked unconscious by the night medicine I will take and no I'm not sick.

Can I get my 360 back please?

I know it is Sunday and I am sure that there's no possibility of them fixing it now, but the boredom has increasingly taken over my body. I can no longer listen to my parents babble on about useless nonsense or commentate on things that they have little knowledge about and then asking me to explain to them about these things when in all reality I am not listening at all. Yeah I just don't listen anymore, now I just sit there, looking for places to find a job because I need one. Oh here they go again, arguing over getting the phone. Can someone get the phone and just deal with it. I don't understand anything anymore. I just go off in my own world and not pay too much attention. You know friends would be nice but I probably should not bother them with my nonsense anymore. So my old reliable buddy is my 360 who is currently in Texas getting fixed or at least the repairs are in progress. Now I am searching for a new video game possibly or just something to keep me away from facebook which is virtually impossible because every time I type. I would type F first and then the rest is history, I'm on my profile wondering how I got there and knowing that this was not my real purpose of getting on internet explorer but I do. Oh well just pray for 360 being fixed within the next week or so. Peace

What's in My Head Nowadays

Christmas has come and passed. Now like everyone else I'm getting ready for the new year. And hopefully some new beginnings. I'm still in Greenville just hanging out. I find it hard to do anything but sleep, play soccer, work out and then do that all over again. Many of friends are hard to come by currently around here. Even though I did hang out with some people last night and that was fun. Today I just let the hangover pass and then I ran worked out in Gold's Gym then I ran back home. I feel like I've been getting fitter and fitter lately, so hopefully I can continue on these ways to complete my goal (It will be on the resolutions post next week coming up). Right now I will start just typing things that are on my mind at the moment.


I find it strange that news websites and newspapers in general will show mutilated and dead bodies of people from other countries however when it comes to people in the United States we try not to show them. Which I understand why we don't show our own because I believe that families of the victims should not have to be dealing with pictures of their love ones who are dead. However I just have a problem with people showing dead people from other countries, especially children. I feel like we should show the same respect in which we treat with the people in our country. If it were soldiers then I wouldn't have any beef with it, but when they show civilians being battered and bloodily without any limps left. I don't know I feel like that is something that bothers me.

I've been thinking about a new pair of cleats to get myself for the new season. Lately I've been rocking Adidas cleats and they have been very comfortable to me. I got a pair of AdiPures (the two pairs of cleats above) and a pair of TUnits (the black and yellow cleats). I am debating which pair I should really good. The AdiPures are comfortable on my feet. I feel like I can move freely with them on and they are very light on my feet. The TUnits have the same comfort and I can strike/ pass a ball with great accuracy. So I don't really know, I feel like what will influence my decision is what colors are out for each shoe. I like the colors that they have out now, If I would get some TUnits I wouldn't get the ones pictured above. I would get the white and red ones that Arsenal's Emmanuel Adebayor wears. I can't really find a picture of it right now. As for the Adipure's I would like those white ones that are shown in the picture. Also the ones that are white with blue outlined on it are nice too. I also thought about getting the ones that are all black but I'm not the biggest fan of black cleats. I'll wear them but I mean if I had another choice I would choose the latter (unless it was pink or yellow).

I'm now laying here watching survivorman and just kicking it for a Saturday night for once. I think Survivorman is cool, people gave Bear Grylls (who does Man vs Wild) a hard time for staying in a hotel one time during one of his adventures and for some time I was mildly upset but then I thought about it. He does some wild shit out there. Climbing up mountains, jumping in a river/lake, dealing with extreme temperatures, and jumping into ice ponds and getting out of them. If he decides to go for a night in a hotel and eat steak instead of staying in the elements, he can do that in my book. Survivorman really just do things like walk around and make camp fires, and find food, not knocking him for that, but I don't really see him do half the stuff that Bear does.

Alright I'm going to go back and watch some more TV before I head to bed for the night. Next post will probably be on Tuesday or Wednesday when I begin my discussion of the New Year and my resolutions for the new year. Until then See Ya

Merry Christmas

Alright I'll write something with more substenance then talking about my problem with pink shoes.

I just really wanted to say Merry Christmas to all of you. From the people who are very important in my life, all the way to those who are on the fringe and to those that don't want to hear anything from me. All of you are a part of my life in many ways. Whether you know it or not. Whether you think the one or two conversations that we ever had matter. It shapes us, it shapes our characters. There is good in all the people I know and the many of the other people that I don't know. I just want to celebrate the good in people.

To my friends, I love you and I will always be there if you ever need anything. If you need a stupid joke or if you just want somebody to talk to or need a person to vent (no not the beer can) to. I'll always be there and I value your friendship very much.

To the fringe/ the people that I do not hear from a lot: I hope you have a Merry Christmas also. I hope that you are your group of friends and family enjoy yourself in this time because I understand that you can't have hundreds of friends to look after. So look after the ones you are most close to and keep them in your hearts because you don't know if anyone like them will ever come again. (There is also a New Years Resolution to you that will come in a week; be excited)

To the Fam: It's pretty self-explanatory. I don't really need to say much. I'm glad I have you and I hope to have you guys for a LONG time. I don't know where I would be without you. Learning from mistakes in the past and learning from things you have taught me made me the person I am. And I thank you.

To Everyone, Much Love Have a Merry Christmas, Happy Hannahkah, and Happy Kwanzaa. If I forgot anything forgive me.

Next Up For My Nonsense is 09 and the Resolutions that I will try to follow.

What the Hell?

I guess this is the new fad now of days. I don't know where exactly did it come from but it should stop with these two shoes. I know Cam'Ron will be proud of these two cleats. The Pumas are okay, they are outlined with pink but they are mostly black. Still I just don't understand who thought that it was the best idea to put some pink in these shoes. And the vapors are a) hideous and b) anybody I see wearing them are going to get it. I will not mind taking a red card and a possible $50 to $500 fine and miss three games for it. You deserve it. I don't want to mistake anyone and say that it is gay to wear these shoes. I don't believe it is, but you are putting a huge target on your feet when you start wearing shoes that don't really match anything that your team wears unless you play for the Serie A team Palermo.

Just whenever you decide to give your son a gift and he comes up to you with an eurosport magazine and says "Here I want these shoes." You should roll up the magazine and bop him in the back of the head and tell him that you think that this will hurt, Imagine what will happen if you decide to wear these shoes to guys who will kick you just for breathing. I mean if you can dodge everybody and make sure you don't get hit ever then by I all means go ahead and wear the shoes. However I will not have any sympathy for anyone who decide to don these shoes. Personally I would not wear anything that is too bright, no yellow or green. If there were only two shoes in the world and I had to choose between these two then I would choose the Pums cause it at least has some black in them and you don't have to worry about saying "no homo" after everytime somebody looks at you playing soccer. Ha! Hey I won't judge you, but I will make sure you regret wearing those cleats unless you make millions in which you can do what you want cause more than likely you get those for free.

But be glad that at least Cam'Ron will appreciate your taste in soccer shoes, well I don't think you know who he is and I highly doubt that he pays attention to soccer that much to worry about it.

Was I frustrated??? Pt. 2

So why I still here watchin MNF and listening to my music to avoid any questioning that might be pushed my way by my parents. I forget exactly what I was frustrated about. Yeah I do have a slow leak on one of my tires that I need to get fixed but other than that I don't really have too much of anything really that is pressing. So I'm just going to go off and talk about the lil crap that might be a bit frustrating but not leading to any problems.

I hate it when people don't give me the ball in a soccer game and they go off and do something retarded and I end up having to go back and get the ball back. I'm not usually greedy with the game of soccer. I try to have fun and enjoy myself. However I do hate losing and my pride won't take nothing else even if it is for certain that team isn't as good as the other. But I just don't like it when I don't see the ball for a couple of minutes and then they end up getting scored on a couple of times. Like when I was in Greenville, I was finding a bit frustrating and we were losing the final game and I just felt like well then I am going to have to travel from one side of the field all the way to the other and back. It actually doesn't happen often because most of the time I play with fellow ballers and they at least trust me with the ball and they know that I'm more than likely going to be able to dish it back to ya. My assist game has been on point lately or at least my passing game has been on point. It's hard to get assist when they miss the shots hahahaha

I wonder why people ask you a question that you know you don't have the answer to and you don't want to make a lame excuse and they end up getting mad at you anyways. For example: "Why did you do this?" And you know you did it so you are just like "well I did it I don't have an excuse" then they get mad and be like "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE AN EXCUSE." If you do make an excuse then they be like, "I don't want to hear your bullshit." I mean what exactly do you want me to say. I mean there isn't an intelligent enough answer to satisfy anyone. So I will stick to my well I have no excuse or explanation if I did something I did it and you don't really want to here my reasoning so I don't want to give it to you.

I feel like I should just IM or text people that I know hate my guts just for the sake of doing it. For at least the simple reason to irritate the living daylights out of them and keep them on their toes and if they decide to block me from talking to them then that is fine with me. That is exactly what I am trying to do to begin with. It's a win/win situation. I love those things.

I'm leaving you alone right now. Knowing what might happen within the next day or so I will get something from you to keep me on my toes. Well I think I am ready for the nonsense. So you can bring it! I'm a pro at nonsense

Frustration Part 1

This is a two part series. This first one isn't anything about me. It is more about the frustration of watching Valencia loses to the club I hate the most Real Madrid 1-0 on Saturday. I watched the game multiple times so I could shit on the players that I wanted to and what not but I will try to be mild on my assessment because the fact of the matter is that we did not play a bad game at all. Until we went down to ten-men (due to Renan's poor clearing) because of Marchena getting a second yellow, we were dominating possession and getting some clear chances. Manuel Fernandes has a bright future. He shows very good close control and he can get out of situations so silky and smooth. However he is not able to show the control in front of goal that it is needed for him to be a world-class player at the moment. Albeda and Baraja didn't do too much for me. Baraja had a threatening header but they were not too controlling in the midfield and didn't do anything that caught my eye. Del Horno had a torrid time with Robben today. I don't know why he looked confused of why he was getting subbed out of the game. I mean most of the time I felt like he was a cone that the dutchman was going around. However after two consecutive games I've seen him in (Dynamo Kiev in the Champions League and Valencia last Saturday), I must say that Arjen Robben, when healthy, is one of the best natural wingers in the game. Except for the fact that he is a bit greedy in front of goal which might rub his teammates the wrong way. He was very influential in Real's victory. Especially with his splitting run to dish a pass to Higuain who took the shot beautifully with his outside of the foot.

Now I know I am not a Joaquin fan or anything but he had a lively start to the game and he was actually doing pretty well. But for whatever reason, he faded as the game progressed and it was pretty hard for anyone to get going after going down a man. David Villa was dangerous in the first half but not as dangerous as he should have been. For some reason he kept on taking the ball too wide and giving himself no angle for quality shots. He did test Casillas but I don't think it was enough to make him sweat. David Silva needs to hurry and get match-field so we can have another quality player on the field to help Villa out. I could tell that he did not look on form as of now. I think I left some players out but I don't want to re-watch it anymore to figure it out.

I was listening to the match commentary and they were saying that the credit crunch is hurting Valencia right now and there is a possibility that they need to sell their top players like David Villa and Silva to make sure that they can break even or be close to it. I don't think that they should do that because if this club makes the Champions League then the money would be able to come in and sure maybe in January you can sell off some players like Zigic and maybe even sell Del Horno to a lower La Liga club because I don't think he is Valencia quality anymore. Moretti is a way better player then Del Horno. Also if you want to sell a top player, let Joaquin go and give more minutes to Vicente who does pretty well for himself or insert David Silva back in the lineup when he becomes match fit. I don't think it would be plausible to give up David Silva and David Villa then think that you are going to challenge for a Champions League spot. If I had to give up one sad to say that I would have to give up David Silva, because Villa is a once in a lifetime player and you cannot find strikers nowadays like him. Mata is growing to become a great player in himself and he can easily replace Silva but who is going to replace Villa? Morientes? Although he is a good player he is getting older and I don't think that he could take on the load that Villa is able to.

Alright Part 1 is over. I'll probably be back later on today to talk about part 2. As for now I am going to take a nap and waste some more time. Cause I know that I need to.

and you wonder why I hate being bored.

"It gets so confusing this game,
I met alot of girls but never felt this way,
I get strange pleasure though from going through this pain,
and like a ghost I'm haunting her,
I often fantasize about walking hand in hand
But I don't know her name or if she's got a man,
and the only thing that gives me hope to stay
is maybe one day she'll notice me"


I was talking to my boy about something that I was kind of confused about and he gave me a good explanation on what might be going on in a person's head so I decided to let it go and not get too attached because they might get what they are thinking out of their system, which is reasonable.

So Tuesday, didn't have anytime to think about anything. Went running, china buffet, packed up and cleaned up a lil of the apartment and then went to indoor. I was actually kind of ballin out in indoor. It was borderline cultured what I was doing actually, I was kind of scared about that. Then I went out with a couple of the guys afterwards and didn't really think about anything during that time either so that was cool. Yesterday (Wednesday) I made the journey back to Greenville and that's where my mind started wandering. Another problem I had some R&B songs on that probably magnified it. So I decided to put on some mindless rap on to just not think about absolutely anything, that actually worked out and then I got home. Decided to take a nap and then head to the gym to work out. She was vaguely on my mind during my workout session, I was actually thinking about next year and where I might actually be. So no problems there. I think it started to hit me at about around 10 tonight when I was just sitting there with my headphones on (so I didn't have to hear my parents questioning) And I would find myself on facebook looking at somebody's profile like I was suppose to be there. It's ridiculous really. Now I am sitting here watchin soccer because I can't get back to sleep and yet I find her in my thoughts.

I don't think it really is an attachment. I think it is mostly just somebody to think about, because it has been a while since I've thought about anyone like this. Yeah it has. So maybe it is just a cycle that I am going to have to get out of. Maybe she'll forget about me, then I can actually forget myself.....

I like the fact that I am trying to actually convince myself out of shit. Like everything in my life I think I will let this run its course. If it runs away from me, then cool, if it runs straight towards me, then that'll be cool. I don't know I just hate being bored because it's easy to think about things like this while you have a lot of idle time. Hmm, well what would help me stop thinking about this person is not using my computer. Hiding it somewhere until I actually begin to forget, work on getting my 360 fixed, and waiting for my sick hat to get here. Who am I kidding I can't live without my computer let's be foreal. I guess my mind will have to wonder for a couple of more days...

My Life from the past five days

There hasn't been a blog entry since around Thursday I believe. I've been putting full focus on my tryout that I had the last weekend for the Carolina Railhawks and part of me feels like that all my focus wasn't necessarily needed. It was a breeze I thought and I thought that I played real well. And to make things even more interesting I was playing out of position for most of the tryout and thought I did really well with it. Since I am a munchkin in the soccer world I decided to go out to right back and I was balling it up over there. Tackles were good, in the right places at the right times and I thought I was one of the best defenders out there. (I don't brag a lot, seriously)

Let's go out of order a little bit. On Thursday, me, walt, and his stepdad went to Cary and played a lil futsal. For those that don't know about it, futsal is played with a smaller but heavier ball and we played on a basketball court. We were slipping all over the place, but also we were balling it up. Dominating the court. It was especially funny when this guy from I believe Georgia wanted to restart the game and we played to five. We beat them to five. Then he decided let's play to two. Beat them to two. And I was walking to get my pants on and get ready to go home and he wanted to play one more game to win. I was really getting agitated with this guy so I took the ball away from him danced around one guy and scored. Finally that was enough. I was waiting for him to say, "Okay the team that gets scored on first wins." It was pretty ridiculous but it did help out with my footwork and all. So it was pretty good all the same.

Now, I am content right now. Listening to Jamie Foxx's new album. It's okay, it's no Jon B. but it's alright. If you don't know I've been on the R&B tip lately. It's been mad calm to me and I don't get too stressed out for no reason so unless I just feel like putting some rap on, I'm listening to some R&B. So Aaron, yeah I'm not mad right now. I'm not mad hahaha.

I need a new hat. I'm tired of wearing the same two hats over and over again. I'm thinking of getting a new hat this week. It's kind of tight or at least I think it's tight. It looks similar to one of the hats I already have but it has that "carolina blue" color to it that I think is kind of cool. Why not buy a white hat. Well black pretty much matches with anything I have and the fact that I don't want to have to clean my white hat everytime I wear it. So I think I am going to stick with the black hats. (I can't find a proper picture of it so I will send you one once I get it)

Alright I'm going to go back and watch my TV. After tonight, one more day in the triangle area for a long while. I'm heading back to Greenville and going through the suffering of my parent's constant questioning. Um I think I am going to either stay in Gold's Gym, my room, or a soccer field for the majority of the time. I don't want to hear that nonsense right now hahaha. I speak nonsense as it is. I mean that is where I get it from right????

This rainy day can't stop me!!! / What should I get for christmas?

It has finally happened. I am officially done being a full-time student. At 1:00pm as I was turning in my final exam, the joy filled through my body. And even though I had to walk through the rain to my car one finally time to where I've been parking it all year I couldn't contain my excitement. I didn't even have any earphones and yet I was still jumping for joy. It is still raining and I've been laying here ever since I got back. I don't care how much it rains and thunders and all that, this rain cannot stop me, well unless it starts flooding soon, then I should be kind of concerned for the fact that I lived on the first floor. Oops

How am I doing otherwise, I'm alright. Can not really complain. I know I wrote another ranting episode earlier Tuesday morning. That's just to get pint up frustration out of my head. Now I feel better, stomp on another team in my indoor game. Played a lil pick-up with some of the ballers on the girl's soccer team (yeah they are ballers). And just enjoying free time. I should start cleaning and throwing away my nonsense of school work that I actually did for some odd reason. I may actually go play some futsal later tonight. That should be fun, I still don't have any moves that I know of but it should be a fun time either way. This weekend I am going to tryout with the Carolina Railhawks. I mean I might as well, what is it going to hurt. It is a new coach and he is not really going to know who I am to sign me by myself so I decided to just go ahead and play and if I play well then great if I don't well then I still got more to work on. I'm sure I will be playing somewhere. It might not be the best place or the highest place but I at least want to play until I feel that I cannot compete and I still feel like I can so I am going to keep on going.

As for Christmas, what should I actually ask for? I think I am that old that I have no clue what I want for Christmas. I don't even think I am going to get anything. I mean Aaron is probably going to get some shoes from a random friend or something. However I am not really concerned about anything. I might ask for some new soccer shoes (preferably adidas or puma or something) Maybe get another hat or two. That's probably what I want. I only currently have two hats because one has gone off missing somewhere. I think I am going to need to go on a mission to get that back. Oh well, what do you think I should ask for?

It's 5am and I can't go to sleep......Oh I'm ranting

There is no real reason why I am up right now. I tried to go to sleep at 1am but I just ended up waking up at 3:30 and now it's 4:30 and I'm still up and now listening to music. It probably doesn't help that I am listening to music because it is distracting me from sleeping and forcing me to think about stuff that I try to block out of my mind. I wish I could just snap on people however I felt like snapping on people. You know it would just make me feel a lot better about myself to just say whatever I feel and just be like yeah that is how I feel. However I try to keep some sort of hope and maybe it is a false hope on my part. Maybe just maybe I want to make it seem like i want these people to like me and when they do not like me. I can go off on them on my own personal way and use that has motivation to work harder on my training and the other stuff that I do. It's probably crazy and I probably should not do these things to myself but it really doesn't pain me as much as I make it out to believe. It's kind of discourage about people but it doesn't pain me. Oh well, I can play the game

I had this big speech about a certain couple of people but I think I really got what I asked for from these people. Keeping a certain distances from me as far as possible because there is a chance that I am some sort of crazy that they don't want to mess with. Well guess what I am crazy and you should not mess with me ever. And if you see me somewhere you should not come up to me and give these fake talk and say anything, you should turn around and go the other way because I know that is exactly what you want to do. You know better yet, I'll help things out and turn the other way myself so you don't have to make the decision for yourself because I know how hard it is for you to make decisions about "hurting people's feelings" Then again, I probably won't see you again as it is. Exams are here and I am not going into Chapel Hill except for exams so congratulations to you, you finally have me out of your system. Cheers.

I'm not on the sympathy tip, I don't really want that in fact I really want to infuriated people. I want people to be mad at me. I want the hate to spill out. However you will roll on your way with a fake gester that really thinks will make me feel better. F that, I rather see you mean mug me, spit on my face and say I hate your guts. (I know what you are thinking, I'm not in the mood for that now- he knows) At least I can say, wow this person really doesn't like me, all your fake babble won't be worth it to your time anymore and then I can spit on your face and say that I hate you too and smile right back at you because I know you hate seeing my smiling face. So I am going to keep on smiling. You are going to have to wipe that off my face now.

He got that ass stomped

I was over a couple of guys house yesterday watching the Pacquiao-De la Hoya fight. Now the weeks leading up to this fight I thought that Oscar would be able to dominate a little guy due to his weight, height, and just overall veteran skills but the moments leading up to the fight just made me change my mind. Me hearing people saying that he is making more money due to pay-per-view revenue then the actual fight itself and him having a pretty face. Then seeing Pacquiao going up against other latin fighters, who seemed like they got more heart then what Oscar has now in the ring, I thought man, Manny might just win. He did not only win he basically beat the shit out of Oscar. Whenever he got against the ropes he just got out, and he just combo in and out making Oscar look more like a rookie fighter in there. Now I understood after the Mayweather fight why he decided to come back but this fight should make him throw the towel for good. He was dominated by a 5'6 guy who's normal weight is around 120. I think you just need to put that suit on and find other guys who are prized fighters. One of the people that I was hanging out with him was like this is basically the same thing as Superman getting killed systematically. Okay I did add the word systematically but that's how it went down. Manny beat him to every punch and it didn't even look like Oscar was going to knock Manny down.

Now I think he should retire now, but will he retire now? I don't know I am sure he has a lot to think about. He could not do anything in this fight. Maybe he's lost it but then again he's lost every big time fight he's been in for the last couple of years. Maybe that won't keep him out of the ring, but you know what will keep him im. It is everyone buying $54.99 for his fights. He is a pretty smart man and if he feels like he wants to get back into the ring, it is going to do more with the payday and less about the real fight. Also other fighters wouldn't mind getting in the ring with him because they'll obviously get that major payday also so until the day when nobody buys an Oscar De la Hoya fight, there will always be a chance that he will be in the ring. But then again, he was a proud champion, I'm sure he even knows when it is time to give it up. I mean he can't do a Bernard Hopkins and stomp on a champion in his prime (Kelly Pavlik) when he's 43 years old. Oscar's not hungry for the ring like that anymore but he is hungry for that $.

Stop Stressing

Going through the progression of trying to study for exams/ trying to stay in shape for soccer/ trying to NOT feel like crap anymore. I just figured out not to be stressed out about many of these things. Just go on and do it. With the studying, I know how to study for these exams and the fact of the matter is that I have a certain idea of what is going to be on the exams. So you should take that out of the equation. Secondly if you are upsetting yourself due to the fact that you are studying a lot and knowing everyone, they hate studying. Study in groups. Find people to study with, now if you don't have any friends in those classes or aren't willing to study with you. Find friends to go to the library with you. It will at least make you feel better that you aren't alone in the studying that you need to do.

I want to be ready for soccer just in case some team comes up to me. I use to stress about the fact that I felt out of shape for some reason or the other. But I think that I am just fine. My game is alright and especially for a center back or possibly an outside back, my skill set as gotten better with playing in indoor (in tight spaces) and just working on the game whenever I can. Whatever all I can ask for is to play the best that I can play and see what happens. Life continues to show you the right way to go so you should take what it plans on giving you.

I have been feeling like crap most recently and it isn't anything social. It is that my stomach continues to ache even though I've almost done everything possible to make sure that it stops aching. I've taken pepto, eaten food, because I thought maybe if I ate I would feel better, taken all kinds of pain relievers and taken some junk called magnesium citrate, it helps "clean you out" if you really want me to elaborate then you are going to have to ask me privately (or just take into account that my stomach is hurting). And even after that I am feeling it a little bit. I had to stop working today because my stomach continued to hurt all during the day. So I went to my place took a long nap and then decided to study a little bit.

I'm trying not to kill myself over all these things and even trying to talk to other people about what's going on just to make me feel at ease. It's kind of hard just keeping everything inside so having people to talk about things that potentially stresses us out will make us less stressful. So if you are feeling shitty and stressed out about things, find the nearest friend and talk to them because you may never know, they have the same things going on with them.

First exam starts on Saturday at four. If I can get some more studying tonight and go a lil more hardcore tomorrow then I would be straight. I am going to be screwed if the first two exams aren't on the final (they said it was cumulative) because that is exactly what I am studying on and Chapter 18 also. So here's to the start of exams! Cheers! Now, here's to me staying in on a Friday night and studying. That's Dedication. Go UNC soccer! (mens and womens)

For my facebook friends who were kind to give me a birthday shout...23? really

First of all thank you for the birthday shouts. It is really appreciated and I am going to try to do something within the next couple of days. I am going to try to thank each of ya in a very unique way. I don't know how I am going to do it and all. And even those who I don't really talk to at least took the time to write happy birthday on my wall, so me being the person that I am. I am going to thank everybody anyways. So within the next couple of days be ready! I am coming

Yes I am 23. I don't feel older or more mature. Although it's weird that I really didn't expect a present for my birthday or kind of didn't want one. You know it gets to that time where you just don't care what you get for your birthday or christmas for that matter. As long as we all can make it through another day that's all that matters. Even the people that I "hate" (like Aaron hahahahaha) I appreciate all of you guys in my life even though I don't show it. It at least keeps my life interesting and I hope that I can make your life interesting through my crazy antics. Alright I need to go to training and a review session (back to reality i hate it)