Opinion of a free mind: Pt. 1

I've had this question posed to me a lot. What are your long-term goals? what are you looking for in your life? Now at first I thought I knew what I was looking for. To play soccer, have a lady-friend, and have bunch of friends to hang out and have a good time with. But for some reason or another some of those things aren't meant to be. I don't know maybe i'm over-hyper about making friends or maybe i'm trying to be friends who seen me one night and probably don't remember me the next. I know it is a fault that I am trying to rid of but hey it's hard to get rid of bad habits.

I was this close to going out by myself and just hangin by myself at a bar today. I don't know what stopped me, I was at the parking lot and I was ready to get out but something told me that nah, you just need to go home. It wasn't like I was sad or anything. Of course I just didn't want to sit by myself while all the others just sat their and have fun with their friends. I only have a couple of true friends left. It's hard, It's hard. People tell you that you are their friends until they either take advantage of you but using you just as an outlet for their problems and not concerning themselves with just having a conversation with you and those that tell you that they are your friends and then just ignore you. I'd rather you hurt my feelings and tell me the truth. The truth is better than lying or telling people other shit. I listen to soo many people talking about how others are annoying and bother them on facebook and it just hits me. Hey! others are probably sayin the same about me. But that is okay if you just want to fake it and tell me shit but then on the other part of the screen or your mind you say "gah why is he talking to me" then that's okay to but hey remember the faster you tell the truth that faster you rid of me from your whole life and that's what most of you want. Right? Right? Right?