I'm just that atypical guy...

From a little inspiration from a vlog that I've been watching. I decided to just give it a write about me, but not really getting too emotional about not having friends and shit like that right now and just saying educated about things.

Now I've always wondered about myself and when I have time to spend by myself during the times I go out I just wonder. What is different about me than other people. I know I am rather reserved and I'm not a flashy kind of guy that goes out and chases hardcore of something he wants. You know you wonder what is the difference between you and the next guy. I just see for what it is. I mean I'm not a rapper, or a bar/club owner, nor am I a basketball/ or even football player. I'm just a regular guy with a not so tall 5'10 frame that probably stands hidden from all the towers that girls love so much. I mean let's be honest, not many people are going after the soccer players, they can do better unless you are foreign (latino more likely) or you are a lil kid that girls feel like they can take advantage of.

Also I may be going after the wrong type of girls. What is the wrong type of girl though. We all look for somebody we like no matter what they look like. Everybody's made fun of me once or twice before in my life. I've had a couple of black girls make fun of me, a couple of white girls, hispanics, indians, and even fat girls make fun of me. I've always wondered why? Is it because I'm not dressed like the "typical" black male is suppose to be dressed like. I'm not rocking a nice fresh fitted, with a throwback jersey which are matching by the way with the matching shoes. I don't just put my arms around a girl like I've known her for years even though I just met her? Or maybe I just come off as that guy. That odd ball, I've seen them at bars. You know who they are, they aren't really the tallest, they don't have a status that you like (athlete or bar/club owner) or just anything. They buy drinks to girls that they know and shots to get them in the mood. And after they give them the shots, the girls leave and they try to find more girls to buy shots to. I mean I can't fault the girls, I mean if someone wants to buy you shots to take and it is free for you. Why not? But think about that guy after it is all done. How is he feeling. He's probably spent $80-100 on drinks and he doesn't really have anything to show for it. Now unless he's a millionaire or his parents are loaded then he might seem like him that's money gone down the drain. But also the guy can't really be faulted also because he feels like he has an unfair advantage over the "ballers" and that he has to try other things to get people's attention. Don't really know who wins in this situation

Me? I'm not going to do that for a couple of reasons. A. I don't have that money nor a job to do such nonsense. B. I don't want to feel like I can take advantage of a person by buying them as many shots as possible even though in the end they make some excuse about going to the bathroom and never seeing them again. C. I don't know I feel more comfortable just talking to someone and getting to know people rather than just buying shot after shot after shot. You know at the end of the day, they probably won't remember seeing you right? Hey that's just something for ya to think about.

What I want to say about myself is that I'm going to stay as myself and whatever happens, will happen. I have about six months left in Chapel Hill as it is and don't really plan on living here past that point. So I'm going to have fun with my people and enjoy myself. Cause if it doesn't come with any tail you can't really depress yourself over it. Maybe there's a good reason and maybe that's just a mistake which isn't really worth it. So I will stay the atypical black guy who is 2-4 inches short and I'm just a soccer player not a baller like those others and honestly I like the way I am. And I can understand maybe confidence helps you out a lot, but then again how can some be confident when people reject. It's kinda like soccer when you haven't played in forever and then they decide to put you in a game 75 minutes in and they expect you to be confident, you can't just turn on the switch like that it's impossible. So the question is, am i changing before I leave this place for good? Nah not changing, i'm going to stay me because I like me and my confidence will develop over time, so I'm not worried.

Now I've advertised my site on facebook again and I just wonder how many people will read this and how many people will be rather upset, because let's be honest there might just be a little fact to this lil post, take it from me I'm rather observant and i see almost everything! haha

So back to reality once again while I get ready for my war against the con artist formerly known as prince. It's on. I'm ready!